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  0 0 Depends. What are your standards for considering someone husband material? CleverScreenName answered in Sex & Relationships over 2 years ago | Report 7 comments by intrepidbeau, CleverScreenName, and intrepidbeau… 0 0 I'd like a genuine friendship with someone who isn't just looking for an instant family. Chemistry would be nice too. intrepidbeau commented over 2 years ago | Report 0 0 That doesn't sound like a standard you can lower. How are you meeting the guys you date? CleverScreenName commented over 2 years ago | Report 0 0 My preferred method is through mutual friends, but that doesn't seem to be going anywhere lately. Other than that I'm limited to community activities or online. I'm no longer interested in the bar scene (what's left of it.) intrepidbeau commented over 2 years ago | Report 0 0 What do your friends think? (Part of it is a numbers game, obviously, which sucks. The numbers are not on your side.) CleverScreenName commented over 2 years ago | Report 0 0 what exactly is wrong with someone seeking an instant family (curious: seems like a possible win-win IF they have any prior experience being the grown-up in a family dynamic) Rev.Enant commented over 2 years ago | Report 0 0 My partner had custody of his two kids when we met, so I have experience in this area. Do not lower your standards with respect to guys who want an instant family. The person you date will be an interloper in the beginning because you and your kids are a pre-established family with your own routines, traditions, and customs. A step-parent must exhibit a great deal of patience and self confidence to work through the transition of being an interloper to becoming a member of the family. Guys who want an instant family won't have the patience or self-confidence required of a successful step-parent. And a bit of advice - Anyone who dates you is saying they want children to be a part of their life. Thus, you need to discuss from the very beginning whether the person you are dating will want children of his own. If he does, then you need to be honest about your willingness to have more children. From our very first date, I made it clear to my partner that I wanted children of my own. (Don't get me wrong I'm close to my step-kids and raised them from age 13 & 11 until they left for college. But, I'll always be their step-parent because they have a mom and a dad. Thus, there's a bond between us, but it's a different type of bond than they have with their mom & dad.) If my partner hadn't been open to having more kids, then we knew we weren't going to be a match. Thankfully, he did want more kids and we have twins (via surrogacy) who are now 3. IGUB commented over 2 years ago | Report 0 0 For me, the problem with someone who wanted an instant family is that I'd like to get to know them, and like them, before they became part of the family. Someone who wanted kids is great and perfect for this guy. Someone who wants to walk in and immediately be part of the family could be a problem. CleverScreenName commented over 2 years ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  0 0 (Luck ain't really part of it: it takes perserverence, and even then you might get someone who looks great the first couple years and then turns dud). So, You are talking about someone who's not just a mate for you, but a family member for two young kids... Please don't lower your standards. (a Pearl Jam song comes to mind, no?) Memories back when she was bold and strong And waiting for the world to come along... Swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man... Rev.Enant answered in Sex & Relationships over 2 years ago | Report 1 comment by IGUB… 0 0 Excellent comment. Your search is going to take longer because you must look for a mate AND a suitable parental figure for your kids. That's a tall order and it won't come easy. But, don't give up. IGUB commented over 2 years ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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