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  1 0 So long as the "no gifts / cash please in the well" situation was announced in the invite, it's 0:not tacky at all , unless you are time travelling to 4 decades ago, and/or getting married in the South. Though it helps the older generation if they know what it's for: tell them it's your down payment/house fund, and much more support will be evident. Whereas, The not-quite-free-bar? A bit fawking Tacky. 9. Either host the bar or not... don't let your guests wait until they're just getting their buzz on to say "oops, the rest are 10 bucks each". Would have been MUCH better (1) to say 'hard drinks are cash, beer & champagne & wine's on us'. Wouldn't the price/hit to your wedding budget have worked out about the same? (Of course food was free: you're not considered to be hosting if it's not.) Rev.Enant answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  1 0 Requesting an _optional_ gift of cash instead of gifts off a registry does not seem that tacky to me. However, this is a cultural thing--many asian societies give cash as gifts instead of presents at weddings (I am part asian). As other posters mentioned, though, it's a great idea to have people donate money to the charity of your choice in lieu of gifts. There are some really great organizations out there that can always use a few more bucks. You have champagne & food for free: people can very easily have a good time. Seems fine to me. emily answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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• Reputation: 1383 Q&A: 33 0 4 757 114 0 Classifieds: 0 0 what's this? Follow Following 0

  0 0 I give your gift scenario a 7 on the tacky scale for sheer passive aggressiveness. If you don't want/need gifts for your wedding you should have left it at no gifts or cash gifts (toward a house fund, a charity, a new car, whatevs). Saying no gifts and then providing a vehicle by which people can give you money seems like asking for the best of both worlds. It allows you to be above commercialism but still get paid, tacky. I give your reception a 2 on your tacky scale. No-host or cash bars for hard liqs and free wine, champagne, beer and food seem par for the course at weddings these days. That being said I still prefer a wedding that offers a free cocktail. Dan Williams answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report 2 comments by fourstringer and Dan Williams… 0 0 On omitted fact, we were moving out-of-state. We had a little poem in the invitation that said in effective, give us money for gift since we don't want to haul all this junk with us, we'd rather carry money and buy what we want in our new home (Seattle!). Does that change the tacky factor? I appreciate your help. fourstringer commented about 1 year ago | Report 0 0 Yes, that does change my rating. Giving cash in lieu of or along with gifts has a long tradition in many cultures (Greek, Mexican, Italian, and I am sure more). Your request reads less passive agressive with the background context. Let's call your new rating 4, mostly for the fact that people like giving gifts and you could have registered at a store you liked and had people ship the gifts to your new address, assuming you have one. Dan Williams commented about 1 year ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  0 0 Ok, as far as the gifts go, it wasn't tacky to put "no gifts" but as long as you didn't tell ppl ahead of time that they could "donate money" to your wishing well then it wasn't so tacky...if you did, then that's VERY VERY TACKY! Ok, as for the bar, if you're going to be so picky about the gifts and what ppl decide to get you for your wedding gift..then you go and don't even provide a free bar?! Tacky=10!!!! I think EVERY wedding should have a free bar, and have some options too...if you have money to do a wedding and invite ppl in the first place, you can scrape up $400-700 for a good bar.... if not then you're just extremely cheap. We had an open bar with pretty much any drink you wanted, and it cost under $1500 so it's not bad...it's well worth it. Texacali101 answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  0 0 When I am invited to an event such as a wedding or a party where my entertainment is expected to be provided and I'm all dressed up, I usually carry very little cash, maybe just enough for a cab ride home or a folded up $20 to cover emergencies. Therefore, a "wishing well" (I suppose that works in a similar fashion to a tip jar) or a cash bar that was unexpected would throw me for a loop in a situation like that. I'm not saying it's tacky per se, just likely to leave a guest discomfited, which is the opposite of true hospitality. If I knew I was expected to cough up some cash, however, I would be sure to bring something exciting and grandiose, like, say a hundred dollar bill. CrazyCatLady answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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• Reputation: 1045 Q&A: 20 0 9 485 25 1 Classifieds: 0 0 what's this? Follow Following 0 Luckier

  0 0 I give you a 6 on the tacky scale overall, in part because of your delivery. A cash bar is not pure tacky, especially as Canadian Nurse suggested, when you charge only for liquor. But the fact that you pointed out that *food and champagne* was free, that's tacky. I assume the champagne was for a toast, and there was only enough for one, maybe two glasses per guest. Also, food is free when you invite your family and friends to any party, unless its a potluck. Regarding the gifts, if you say "no gifts" then that means you don't expect any gifts - money included. So, putting a "wishing well" out at your wedding is passive agressive and lame. (It also puts pressure on your friends who actually believed that you did not want a gift, and so followed your direction and didn't get you one.) A better way to accomplish the same is to let your parents and close friends know that you aren't going to register for gifts, as you are saving for (a house, a honeymoon, some other big-ticket item) and that while you don't expect a gift, you would happily accept cash. You don't mention this in the invitations - people will ask you outright or the information will pass word-to-mouth from your parents/friends. Then, on the day, you a small table designated for gifts - which you will get regardless. Luckier answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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• Reputation: 134 Q&A: 5 0 0 38 4 0 Classifieds: 0 0 what's this? Follow Following 0

  0 0 Two drinks with free unlimited champagne is not tacky. I've been to a number of weddings where the house wine and beer were free, but mixed drinks had a price. This sounds like a similar suggestion. The no gifts but you can provide money makes sense in the context of a couple who are moving out of state. I went to a wedding like that in January (they just left for Turkey last week). We all understood that buying stuff for them was an inconvenience for them, so some gave money, and others gave consumables (spa & restaurant gift certificates, etc.). Canadian Nurse answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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• Reputation: -7 Q&A: 0 0 0 0 7 0 Classifieds: 0 0 what's this? Follow Following 0 kuuipo61

  0 1 I'm not Emily Post, but I think on the scale that hits about an 8. Unfortunately, it sounds as if you are ASKING for cash instead of truly not wanting gifts. If people are going to give you something no matter what AND gifts are banned, they will give in the form of cash or gift card. You'll find it in their wedding card to you thereby making the wishing well irrelevant. The only way a 'wishing well' would be okay is if it were for a favorite "named" charity and all the cash truly went there. Otherwise, check the envelopes. Barely an exception, but it might be okay is if you are banning gifts because you literally have no where to put them - i.e. you live in a studio and can barely turn around already or are joining the Peace Corps right afterward and will only have what's on your back. ;-) Still no wishing well, it'll be in the cards. The two drink minimum - If you're really not well off, most people will know it and I think it's okay as long as people are aware of it AHEAD and WHY. It allows people the drink to toast the couple, etc. After that, their buzz is on their own. Not great, but not everyone is rolling in money. Good luck on you new life together!! kuuipo61 answered in Whatever about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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