Locutus_small
Reputation: 517

How can we deter conservatives from moving to Seattle?

I was downtown enjoying our liberal city in the northwest corner of our rather psyco-conservative nation and overheard something that terrified our Borg implants.

A youngish couple and their three children (the husband was wearing a McCain/Palin tee-shirt and NOT in an ironic sorta way) were walking ahead of me talking about how they would love to move to Seattle. The wife (sporing a rather tacky side bag with the phrase "Jesus Loves You!" branded on the side) agreed that the move would be good but was concerned about the impact Seattle's liberalism would have on their bratty off spring (sorry, children). She was serious.

I know that we have Mark Driscoll and his mindless followers around town and others like him. But at some point, if enough of these deranged evil people move here their "values" will find their way on ballots and in political office.

What can we do to make Seattle unappealing to the rising tide of Americ-Facist-Christo-Psycos and appealing to the REAL Americans that value diversity and reason?

Had Mr. Poe been there I would have gladly bent him over right in front of them and nailed him Borggie Style.

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8 Answers

  • Ozomahtli_small
    Reputation: 2398

    Conservatives are vastly outnumbered in Seattle. Let them move here. Their kids WILL be influenced by Seattle's liberalism, and the world will be a better place because of it.

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  • Goonies_small
    Reputation: 956

    I wouldn't worry about it honesty. Most visitors that come in the summer months take in the gorgeous weather and then claim they want to move here. They're on a vacation high, and will come back down to reality when they get home.

    The couple you mention in particular, if you want to stereotype, would have to unload their suburban McMansion at a huge loss and buy a much, much smaller home here. They're not going to do it.

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  • Gold-head_small
    Reputation: 6001

    Run up to them and ask them if their kids would like some piping hot scrotum cake. You're selling them as a fundraiser for the Mayor's Dog Marriage Initiative. And warn them to move their car before the NAMBLA parade starts.

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  • Profile_small
    Reputation: 371

    Dude, let 'em come. We will assimilate them like the Borg. Especially their shitty little children.

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  • Sacri_ordines_by_charism_small
    Reputation: 3723

    "We will absorb their technical and biological distinction to our own"

    Let 'em come.

    Besides, they likely won't move anywhere near downtown. Not with 3 kids. Sound more like Bellevue bait to me.

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  • Cats_small
    Reputation: 891

    lower the property values, I hear they hate that sort of thing.

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  • Willie_small
    Reputation: 32

    "... and appealing to the REAL Americans that value diversity and reason?"

    lol, irony

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  • Avatar_default
    Reputation: -71

    You are hateful, intolerant and against diversity.

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