Wa_usa_small
Reputation: 2674
Follow 2
Follow 1

this is really awkward... what's the protocol for a gay man taking friend's son to the bathroom?

So, this is really awkward. I'm gay, but I have a ton of straight friends who have kids. We go on road trips and camping together all the time. Sometimes, they ask me to take one of their male children to the bathroom, at a campground or a rest stop or whatever. I'm happy to oblige, I'm good with kids. And let me preface this by saying I'M NOT A CREEP WHO IS INTO KIDS, and my friends know that... but...

But what's the protocol here if I have to go too? On the one hand, prudence tells me that I should let the kid go, then have him wait outside while I go, to avoid the "appearance of impropriety."

On the other hand, it's kind of dangerous to have a 7 year old kid wait outside the john all alone while I try and take a leak real quick.

What should I do, keep the kid with me for safety, and risk that some dirtbag thinks I'm a creeper (I'm not!), or err on the side of not looking like "that guy" and figure the kid will be safe for 30 seconds?

soundslikepuget asked in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago | Report
New answers are not being accepted at this time.
Latest Greatest

5 Answers

  • Logo_small
    Reputation: 78
    Follow 0

    When my husband (who's straight) had to take our daughters' female friends into a bathroom with him, he would have them use the stalls, and he would use the urinal or another stall while they were in there, behind closed doors. I don't think any of their parents were ever troubled by this.
    I suppose if there were no stall doors, then whether he kept them in there with him, or had them wait outside would depend on how safe an environment he believed they were in... if it felt unsafe to leave them outside, I think safety wins out over propriety.

    Janelle Durham answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago | Report
    Comment on this answer
    Share this answer with a friend:
  • Doorbells_002_small
    Reputation: 896
    Follow 0

    If your friends are asking you to take the kid to the bathroom, you are in charge of his safety. Keep the kid with you at all time, or at least in your sight.

    So the kid stands to one side while you use the urinal. Big deal.

    Your friends trust you. So don't worry about appearances. You are supervision a young child in their use of the bathroom. Period.

    "Cagey" answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago | Report
    Comment on this answer
    Share this answer with a friend:
  • Image00666_small
    Reputation: 3564
    Follow 4

    At 7 years old, he should be able to handle his clothes and use the urinal/toilet without assistance. Obviously your friends trust you to accompany their kid to the bathroom, so I don't think you need to worry about the appearance of impropiety.

    Just walk him to the bathroom, point him to a stall, and make sure he washes his hands after he is done. He's safer with you than without you, so don't get all weird and make him wait outside or something.

    kitschnsync answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago | Report
    Comment on this answer
    Share this answer with a friend:
  • Nedward_small
    Reputation: 135
    Follow 0

    Seems like unless you are dressed like this guy while you use the bathroom, it should be fine for you to keep the kid in view.

    http://content.ytmnd.com/content/8/4/f/84fe49e0050b7e8ef04e0045ebc3c650.gif

    Matt answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago | Report
    Comment on this answer
    Share this answer with a friend:
  • N1420951519_6175_small
    Reputation: 35
    Follow 0

    Let's start by focusing on the fact that you are a man, instead of emphasizing the 'gay' adjective. What do other men do in this situation? If they can pee alongside a young boy - why can't you? You know you aren't inappropriate and so do the friends asking you to help out. Ask your non-gay men friends how they handle this situation. As a mom, I would feel much more comfortable having you pee beside my son than having him left unattended!

    Roslyn Ann Duffy answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago | Report
    Comment on this answer
    Share this answer with a friend: