I'm female with a disability that makes me look funny and I've been getting harassed on the street lately, what to do? for Questionland Seattle

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I'm female with a disability that makes me look funny and I've been getting harassed on the street lately, what to do?

I got taunted and bullied alot as a kid, but for some reason, twenty years later it's happening again, this time by adults when I'm out taking care of business on Capitol Hill (especially Broadway), the Central District, and Rainier Valley.
I've heard of at least two others getting harassed in those area's for the way they look. What is going on???

But mostly, I'd like to know the safest way to deal with this without getting hurt!

girlconcerned asked in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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rickibot

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To over-simplify it, some people are assholes (a few are dangerous - the majority are just cruel). Maybe taunting people is their way to feel validated/feel alive/pass the time/etc. I've been harassed for everything from having blond hair to the sound of my voice to something as basic as being present. You are not alone.

In your case, what exactly are these people doing? Are they verbally taunting you as you go by? Does anyone follow you down the street or into a business? Has anyone gotten physically "too close" to you (the quotes are there because closeness is relative for everyone - the only definition of "too close" that matters here is yours)? I ask these questions because my responses would be different for each case. Verbal comments can be ignored. It sucks, but talk is often just talk. Walk on. A confident, measured stare can help, too. People can wither under a strong enough glance.

Following someone or getting in their face is a different ball of wax. If someone is following you, even for a few steps, turn around, square your shoulders, look them in the eye, and in a strong, even voice say "stop talking to me. Walk away." Or something authoritative like that. Repeat it. Get louder. Draw attention to this person: "The man in the red hat is bothering me." It will only help your cause if other people standing around start looking at this person who is giving you a hard time.

In any of these situations, trust your gut. If you feel that one of these people might do more than just talk, walk into the nearest business or crowd of people, and ask someone to call 911. Draw attention to yourself and what is happening. Again, trust your instincts. They will serve you better than most anything else.

Above all, confidence and the willingness to stand up for yourself will help you enormously. I encourage you to take a self defense class to get a chance to practice some of the things I listed above. I volunteer for an organization called the Fight the Fear Campaign (throw a .org on the end for the website) - we run a lot of self defense workshops in and around Seattle. Feel free to try one out. It can really help to get a chance to ask questions like yours and practice some responses in a safe space. It can feel a little silly at first, but almost everyone who attends has a story like yours. It's a great place to (hopefully) feel better and learn to defend yourself in a variety of ways.

rickibot answered in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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Tell me who they are and I'll bust 'em in the face.

"Adults" is too strong a word. Some people never grow up.

LMNOP answered in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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Taunting someone with a disability? What have we become?

I really don't know what to advise you, GC. My first thought is, "Pepper spray!" But if some half-wit is low enough to make fun of someone who is physically disabled, and is so obviously clueless how challenging that is, what else is that person capable of? Probably not the best advice to do anything that would inspire retaliation.

If you aren't in any immediate danger, if you could get to a place where you could maybe just roll your eyes at such idiocy, that might be the safest and most beneficial thing for you. So sorry that you are having to endure it. Just remember we aren't all like that.

If you are feeling threatened, speak to the police. I'm pretty sure they'd be very interested in speaking with anybody who believes harassing physically challenged people is an acceptable practice.

PS: I am really surprised this is happening to you on Capitol Hill. That isn't the Broadway that I remember.

Bauhaus answered in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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Carry a taser / take self defense classes. I say this not because we need militant ready-to-fight people out there, but because these things can help you unlock your confidence, which IMO is what you need most of all.

Make eye contact with these people. Stand your ground. Stare them into self-reflection & shame. This works with more than half of the bullies out there - they tail-tuck and run (they'll spit nasty words as they do it, but their actions speak at Db much higher than their words).

Then, if you like, arm yourself with this....

"What a sad, self-conscious petty life you must have, you little bully-hearted inconfident asshat - I can see your disability too: your disability is inside Your Soul."

Rev.Enant answered in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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Got a cell phone? With a camera?

Record their faces with time and place.

Because I would think that you've been the victim of Hate Crimes which are illegal and you may be able to get awarded civil damages especially if you can lock down the perps with some type of id (like if they are students at a college, or restaurant workers).

Simply id'ing someone is great way to get people to change behavior.

For example, as a pedestrian and cyclist, when a motorist threatens me, I no longer stare at the driver -- I stare at his license plate! I burn it into my memory and have even shouted it out in public as if it were to be my dying words.

People are more afraid of being sued or having their insurance premiums go up, or anything that gets on their records, more than words or even fisticuffs.

Former User answered in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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Contact the police.
Ask them to escort you occassionally.
Once the hecklers see you mean business, they OUGHT to leave you alone. Plus, carry a cell phone with 911 pre-programmed into it so you can call for help if things ever get ugly.

Second idea: Contact the local clergy and ask them to help ID the hecklers. If it's local kids, they will be recognised and their church can put the pressure on them.

If it's adults, find out why they are there, work or living, and make a call to their employer about how it looks for their employees to be hassling on company time.

"Cagey" answered in Legal about 1 year ago | Report

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