Family leave is a benefit just like health insurance, 401K, short-term disability and a free bus pass. If your employer offers it, how are you taking advantage by accepting it? Some employers require that you work for a year before some of these benefits vest, so you'll want to find that out. And remember, if it takes you a few months after you start the job to get pregnant, you'll have been at your job for a year before you actually take the leave.

You'll likely get a lot of pushback here, and among your friends and colleagues about taking a job right before you know you're going to take leave. Short-term disability (which is how many employers who offer paid leave actually pay for it) and family leave benefits can be used for a multiple of reasons. Guy who spends his weekends skiing double diamonds at Alpental? He may have to have emergency knee surgery and be out for a few weeks. Employee with a sick spouse or other relative with cancer? Probably going to have to take time off, and may not be able to plan for it. Women having babies may be able to plan those things, so it may appear to be "taking advantage" to set up your life so that you have stable job and benefits. But you also get to plan for and set up your position so that things are taken care of while you're out, and drop back in to take over when you get back. And, the world gets a new person out of the deal, and that new person gets to be raised in a financially stable environment. That's a win/win for all of us, I think.

The complaints are just petty sexist BS.

No, it's really none of your employer's business if you should get pregnant... UNLESS, he asked you in the interview what you specific plans were for starting a family, and you misled him intentionally.

I had a co-worker who swore that she didn't want kids soon, left our employ, started in a higher, better job, and discovered within two months that she is pregnant. Unplanned, but very welcome.

I'm not sure if a prospective employer can ask questions of planned pregnancy, but if it came up, I think you then have an ethical issue of your own.

The judgement as to whether or not you are a bad employee or if you are taking advantage of the system will have to be made by you. You could plan to get a solid year with your new employer and then try for the new addition to the family. That said, if it was to occur I would suggest you inform your employer and indicate that this was unplanned at the time but still a welcome event for you and your husband and work from there.

As to the questions about what can be asked or needs to be admitted to in an interview please review this list of just that kind of information:

http://www.stat.washington.edu/jobs/questions/