Uh, he turned 14 yesterday. And, I didn't mean to imply any interest in gay... just no response when I attempt to start a conversation about sex, girls, puberty or growing up. Unless it deals with Magic cards, pokemon or Runescape...

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that was as issue, just that it should be part of your chit-chat, just in case...and only if it is okay in your book!

Amy, I don't mean to be nit-picky, as I find your advice to be, in general, lovely, but most of the multiplayer games do involve real interaction-- players talk to each other over their headsets in real time. My partner has been playing mmorpgs for over half his life and has friends he met playing games way back when (8-10 years ago) whom he speaks to every few days during current game play. They talk about lots of things going on in their lives, from relationships to work to politics to family to -of course- pwning noobs. It surely shouldn't be 100% of a developing boy's social interaction, but I don't think there's any real harm in it. And there is something to be said for games that help kids develop the social skills to work as a unit (where every member has defined skills and responsibilities) to defeat enemies that are just as smart as they are, to lead a small group and inspire them to actually listen to each other, and to use the strategical and mathematics skills I see gamers use on a regular basis (ok, I deal so much damage per second against an enemy with this many health points that replenish at this rate, and I have a spell that increases my damage per second by x%, etc.).

Sphinx, I think you're awesome, but I'm with Amy on this one. I wouldn't panic about it, but some kids -- some, not necessarily this one -- lean too heavily on games as an escape. It really depends on the kid.

As for the harm, the jury's still out, sort of. According to the APA, "Psychiatrists are concerned about the wellbeing of children who spend so much time with video games that they fail to develop friendships, get appropriate outdoor exercise or suffer in their schoolwork. Certainly a child who spends an excessive amount of time playing video games may be exposed to violence and may be at higher risks for behavioral and other health problems."

At the very least I'd say make sure he's getting to bed on time and getting some physical activity after school -- "all his free time" sounds like too much of one thing.

Then again, if he's got more books on sex coming, the problem may take care of itself...

Fair enough, Irena, and I do agree with many of the criticisms of gaming for children (sedentary rather than active recreation, violent or adult imagery/language/themes, lack of real-world perspective, etc.). For example, I'm not okay with a child playing a war-based game or, for heaven's sakes, something like Grand Theft Auto, nor am I okay with it being a developing child's #1 source of social interaction, as I noted in my original comment.

I just wanted to point out the misconception (which seems to be a common one) going on in the answer- there are, in fact, "real" interactions between users in multiplayer games (as opposed to a single player game), and they're much like hours-long phone conversations, which seems like pretty standard teenage behavior to me. It's actually kind of odd that I'm even on the "defending gaming" side here, as I'm usually pretty anti-games/t.v./internet for children, which I don't think really came out in my note. (I'm also not familiar with Runescape, so my comments could be entirely irrelevant here.)

And I do think that once this particular boy matures a little bit more (he sounds like he might not be quite ready for teenage social stuff yet), this will naturally cease to be an issue.

I take your point, and appreciate the info. Obviously kids can love games and still be within the range of what's considered normal and healthy. And personally, I think gaming is almost always better than passive t.v. watching, which our culture has been addicted to for decades.

What a great discussion of video games/gaming we have going on here. Do you think we should start another thread that deals with problems/concerns of gaming? I'd like to get more people's voices involved in the discussion. What'da ya think?