I am a tutor at a small center in Seattle. My students are aged 3-14, and I spend 30 minutes to an hour with them (working one-on-one) once or twice a week. Occasionally I have to field an awkward question about sex or sex-related issues, and I want to make sure I'm doing it right. Usually my stock response is "That's not really a topic for Kumon/school, and I'm sure your mom or dad would explain it you if you ask." Otherwise, if it's a question I feel I can safely answer (like last month, when a student read the word 'fagot' in a story where it was being used in its original meaning and asked, "Why is that word in my homework, isn't it a bad word?"), I will do so as succinctly and neutrally as possible ("Originally this word meant a bundle of sticks, and this story is from when it was still used that way all the time. Nowadays, though, some people do use it as a bad name for others, and you shouldn't use it in that way because it's rude and hurtful."). Do you think this is appropriate? Any other useful deflection tactics? Sometimes I feel like I just want to explain because I know it can be hard for kids to ask ANYONE about this stuff, and the rejection might make them embarrassed enough not to go home and ask, and sometimes they might not be able to talk to their parents about the topic at all, but I also know it's safer not to step on parents' toes or share info they might not want their kids to have.

And, part two of my question, how do you know when to be concerned or not? Obviously, if a student is bringing up things that are sexually explicit in class, I can guess that something's wrong and I need to notify my boss and CPS, but often when it happens it is ambiguous enough that I'm not sure. For example, I have a student (age 9) who is always asking me about my boyfriend. Do we live together? Do we sleep in the same bed? Do we kiss? Etc. I have another student (age 8) whose main babysitter appears to be the television, and he will sometimes say inappropriate phrases/swear words in class...again, how do I tell where the line is between normal kid boundary-pushing and the possibility that he's being exposed to things he shouldn't be?

Sorry I'm so verbose, but I'd love your feedback on both q's!