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  9 0 Everyone else had much better answers than what I'm going to throw out there, but I think it needs to be said: Make sure your son is clean and dressed relatively cool. I know it sounds shallow, but no one is more shallow than middle school kids. When I was in middle school, the kids I knew with Aspberger's always looked like they hadn't showered in awhile and tended to wear really strange things--like one boy only wore a sweatshirt with a puffy paint tulip on it. If your kid looks like the other kids, it gives other kids less ammunition to mock your kid. Cedarthvader answered in Schools about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  8 0 Looking back on my middle school days, I can remember a couple of kids who so obviously, in retrospect, had Aspberger's. And they were teased mercilessly. Of course, thankfully, the "spectrum" is so much better understood now, and I think teachers are more educated on how to help socially integrate kids with Asperger's. The kids themselves are better educated too. My daughter's school has a strong inclusion program, and she definitely is very comfortable and familiar with the quirks of Aspbergerian and autistic kids. It's just part of the normal range of personality for her at this point. Unfortunately, no matter the positive changes, middle school kind of sucks. Bullying is almost unavoidable. I strongly believe this is the same no matter the school you send your child too. The degree varies, but many kids are just cruel about any differences at that age. Keeping a strong communication link with the teachers and principal is important, but so is tracking your own child's experiences. Teachers can't be aware of everything. When my daughter was having issues with being bullied a couple of years ago, I definitely checked off the boxes by talking to her teacher and other parents about the problem, but mostly I worked on what I had the most control over: what she was doing and feeling. Helping her become stronger and more confident. I signed her up for martial arts (okay, fencing, because that's what she chose) to help her be aware of her own body's capabilities. We also spent hours role playing different scenarios; how to respond to mean comments, how to diffuse situations, when to remove herself from a conflict, when to involve a nearby adult. We also talked a lot about the motivations of bullies and how the things that they said and did were not reflections on her worth as a person, but their own issues. All of these things together really helped her (and me to not feel so helpless), and she is doing much much better socially now. It's kind of an amazing change, frankly. We still revisit the topic frequently, but currently more abstractly. She has some fairly mature perspectives that I enjoy hearing, which makes me think that she did learn a lot from the experience. Sorry this ended up being so long; I have burned many brain cells on this subject, clearly. :) I wish you and your boy the best of luck! Unfortunately, all of us have to endure middle school. Fortunately, it's over quickly. Squirrel Girl answered in Schools about 1 year ago | Report 2 comments by Cedarthvader and Cheryl… 1 0 Such a good answer! Cedarthvader commented about 1 year ago | Report 0 0 So helpful! Thank you -- so many useful responses here. Cheryl commented about 1 year ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  5 0 Speaking as someone with Aspergers (or whatever the new DSM will be calling it) who was teased mercilessly in school, you can't. There is no way to protect a child from the intolerance of the world. While I would not say that bullying in good, it is a version of what all of us, every day, have to put up with for the rest of our lives and therefore I don't think protecting a child from it is a good idea. False bubble and all that. That said, what you can do is give your child the strength of mind to deal with bullying and intolerance in an appropriate way. A solidarity of self and tolerance of differences are about the only universals I can offer; other things are going to be up to you, like what degree of bullying requires going to authority figures and whether violence can be responded to with violence. But the solidarity of self is important; give your child a sense of value in themselves that no one else can touch, ever, and it will carry them through hell and back. Lilting Missive answered in Schools about 1 year ago | Report 1 comment by capicola… 0 0 Great answer. In the end, you can't control other people's behavior; you can only control your reaction. What a great life skill to develop, and the sooner the better. capicola commented about 1 year ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 0 Beyond the emotional support you can offer to your son directly, I know that reaching out to teachers, school counselors and social workers, etc. proactively is huge. Some of them may not have the education to recognize his behavior as symptomatic of Aspergers, nor the tools for intervening in potential bullying situations. If you can help them become comfortable with addressing the topic, they're more likely to keep an eye out and actually address the issue when needed. There are definitely options as well for addressing his classmates directly. I work with teens with disabilities that aren't always apparent on first sight, so I know this approach doesn't work for all of them...But providing some education on what autism and Aspergers is, or even just disability awareness and etiquette in general, can be really helpful in preventing bad situations. There are lots of ways to make this happen without necessarily calling him out directly, or putting all the work on your shoulders. Some kids are gonna be jerks no matter what, but the ones who are more ignorant than ill-intentioned usually respond well to education. Lara answered in Schools about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  1 0 Any idea how hard fought the battle was to get autistic kids into schools in the first place? Bullying sucks. I was bullied. Bullying also teaches us how to make our way in the real world. Some amount of it is actually a gift. Too much of it requires intervention between you and school administrators. Putting him in private school will also help, generally. Kip Waddle answered in Schools about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  0 0 For starters, I think that your primary focus should be on preparing your son. You may be able to do a little advocacy (for sure check out the school's policy on inclusion, bullying, diversity education, etc.), but the thing you do have control over is what you teach your son about dealing with and responding to negative situations. You can't MAKE those other kids be nice to or inclusive of your son if they end up not wanting to. Even if you're able to protect him in middle school, sooner or later some ignorant jerk is going to try to make him feel small. I absolutely agree with Cedarthvader about the trappings. First, make sure you provide him with the basics in terms of fitting in outwardly. He doesn't need to be draped in Abercrombie and Fitch (or whatever middle school kids are loving these days), but he should be dressed in clothes that are within the bounds of what the "cool kids" wear and you guys can afford. (ie, Don't make him take the dorky insulated lunch box to school.) Even if he doesn't really care much about clothes or shoes or a new backpack, it'll reduce how much he stands out as "different." The second part of my advice starts with a question. Is your son involved in any kind of behavioral therapy (or something else that helps him develop tools for dealing with the aspects of the social world that are difficult for him)? If so, you should for sure bring up your concerns with his therapist to see if he or she can help him imagine the kinds of situations he might be in and prepare a way to respond. If not, you can do this yourself (to an extent) as Squirrel Girl suggests by talking about the kinds of mean things kids sometimes do (stories about your own childhood would be good here, or there are a plethora of movies and t.v. shows that address this issue and might spark a discussion) and what you and he feels like he could do if those things happen. The other idea I have is to try to find something that will boost your son's feelings of independence, efficacy, and confidence. Is there something that he already loves to do? Does he have friends with whom he enjoys doing it? If the answer to these questions is yes, I think you can relax a little bit. Most kids who have some friends do okay even when they're being bullied because they know that there are people who appreciate them. It's a lot easier to survive being a "them" to one group if you have your own group where you're part of an "us." Finally, I think it's important to realize that most kids go through some bullying and teasing. There is certainly a line ( which starts as soon as the bullying becomes a regular recurring thing, your son is quite upset or bothered by it, it is specifically aimed at his condition, or your son is or feels he is in danger), but I don't think you should jump up in arms the first time someone makes a snide remark to your son in middle school. Everyone has snide remarks made about them in middle school, and I think that the more you focus on it (and especially make a public fuss about it to teachers, staff, or other students), the worse it is likely to get. Please understand, I am not suggesting that you're overreacting now OR that bullying is in any way okay, I just think there's a possibility that your son will be absolutely all right and maybe not even the target of any special ire. The best you can do in my opinion is to speak to teachers and administration quietly and privately before there is any kind of problem and prepare your son by both discussing the possibility of bullying and appropriate responses and by giving him stable ground to retreat to if he ends up needing a break from upsetting peer interactions (like a hobby or an outside of school friend/activity group). Also, just a note, I absolutely disagree with Kip's suggestion of private school as inherently better for kids with special needs unless the school is specifically designed with special needs kids in mind. In my experience, private schools have less experience dealing with these issues and are reluctant to discipline or confront bad behavior from the popular kids (usually the kids with the richest parents). I hope your son has a good experience, or at least no worse than the average kid. Sphinx answered in Schools about 1 year ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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