My partner and I have pretty different approaches to life: he's scientific and rational while I'm into poetry and contemplation; he's tidy and disciplined while I'm messy but more creative; he's a problem-solver and impatient with inefficiency while I'm more empathetic and accepting of people's flaws. We should fight a lot, but we don't.

I guess a big part of it is that we really value those things that make us different. Sure, sometimes I think his way of viewing the world is a bit too cut-and-dried, and I know he gets impatient with my haphazard ways. But we also really enjoy it when it works in that yin/yang way capicola mentioned. If we're out hiking, for example, I'll get curious about some overgrown trail but he'll make sure we don't get lost, so we both end up having a good time without killing ourselves. When I get frustrated with him, I remind myself that I need him, and he knows he needs me. We're a team.

But here's our secret, and maybe one of those creative ideas you're looking for: although we've been together 15 years, we don't live together. Separate places, separate lives Mon - Fri. We talk on the phone every night and spend weekends together, but we never have to fight about laundry or dishes or bills. It's not for everyone, but I do think more people should consider it. It has worked out really, really well for us.

I think the yin/yang concept that capicola lays out is great - the only problem is if one of you does not see the benefit that the other brings to their life.

For instance, if she is very organized and careful, worries a lot, and you help her to relax and have fun - that is wonderful. But if she doesn't see your carefree side as helping to balance her (but that occasionally on a stressful day gets too much) and instead sees it as a constant irritation - then you might be in trouble.

I guess, in my mind, the major difference is whether or not she will be able to handle your different styles down the road. Will she laugh in five years when you decide to take the kids to park instead of to daycare like she planned for you to do? Or will she flip out at you for constantly changing her plans?

If the latter - you guys might not work out. If the former - if she really can appreciate how you balance her out - then you might work out alright.

Are dating my wife? You bastard.

Does your girlfriend like being such a worrier? I don't, and the anxiety-relieving consequences of doing something "right" don't last long before I'm stressed about something new. I don't actually want to be the "mom" in my relationship, I just want things to get done and done well. But my husband is actually a competent person and most things turn out okay even if they don't go exactly my way.

For your gf, do all decisions need to be made with such deliberation? I care about the towels too, but my husband wasn't catching onto my way, meaning I had to refold, which showed me how ridiculous I was being. I've started folding some of them his way, and life goes on.

One thing I've done is consciously put some chores and projects onto him. We took a trip recently and divided the jobs (e.g. rental car vs. accommodations), and since I wasn't doing any of the research on his portion, I didn't have to worry about it and also couldn't second-guess him--better for both of us. For unimportant things like loading the dishwasher, maybe that could be entirely her job or entirely yours, and the other person can just stay out of it. For things that are important, what if you took on chunks of the research and decision making? If your decisions don't turn out perfectly, can she take some deep breaths, keep her mouth shut (i.e. not give you any grief), and go on with her life? And if she can't, might that be worth looking into via therapy or something? Obviously it's her life and her worrying, but my experience of anxiety is that it isn't much fun.