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  7 0 I have the same issues your boyfriend has. It's not something I can voluntarily alter. Some of us are just kind of uncomfortable in social situations. If this is something that really bothers you, then you should find someone else...but giving up caring and affectionate for someone who's hail-fellow-well-met may not be that great a trade. Can he converse fairly easily with you one-on-one? Then try (gently!) repeating people's remarks to him and having him respond to you if that works better for him. That keeps him involved in the conversation without exceeding his comfort level. And tell your friends it has nothing to do with them, and that he's not angry or a jerk, he's just not a tremendously social person. (I HATE making eye contact with people I don't know well, or with people I do know well and don't like.) Geni answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report 1 comment by Geni… 0 0 One thing I should have included in my original answer, by the way - if he's a true introvert, then pressuring him to be more extroverted will not only be stressful for him, it'll be exhausting. A true introvert recharges in solitude, even if they can take pleasure in company. A true extrovert recharges in company and finds solitude draining over the long term, even if they can sometimes take pleasure in it. Being forced to socialize for a long time is really stressful and tiring for me, and will make me tune out and become hostile. Geni commented 11 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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• Reputation: 4209 Q&A: 121 4 6 1581 87 19 Classifieds: 0 0 what's this? Follow Following 5 Russ Campbell, NWEBS

  7 0 There are individuals that present a difficulty or inability to read facial expressions and social cues that is really a form of learning disability. Large social situations can be a very confusing setting in having to track multiple people in a conversation and their intent. Does he have any difficulty recognizing double entendre in a story, laughing at a wry joke or story? Does he enjoy movies, what kind? What does he enjoy reading? What are his hobbies or interests? Do you see any pattern in these preferences that support this line of thought. Shyness can be so overwhelming for some folks that mixed social settings can bring on a level of anxiety that makes any coherent conversation very very difficult. What is he able to tell you about what was happening for him at the party later when you are alone? Would it impress you that he may be subjecting himself to exceedingly uncomfortable feelings to accompany you to group events? He may be the individual that needs to form a relationship one-on-one with new people over time before he can be comfortable in a larger social setting with many of them. You said all the right stuff at the beginning, you love him and he shows you great caring and affection to you. The rest of life is learning to be concerned with each other's happiness and accepting responsibility for each other's needs and respect for them as an individual. I might also add that the two personal types described above include many people of great intellect and ability. The true skills and intelligence of your friend my yet be revealed to you. Keep learning about each other and communicate from the heart about your needs when you are alone together. Russ Campbell, NWEBS answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  7 0 It is highly unlikely that he will change at a rapid rate, if at all. If this is really a deal-breaker then you should find someone more compatible. If you can learn to not take it personally then you should keep him around. Your friends will eventually get used to him, especially if you are less self-conscious about it. Kip Waddle answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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• Reputation: 7 Q&A: 0 0 0 7 0 0 Classifieds: 0 0 what's this? Follow Following 0 daedalhead

  6 0 My dad has this problem, & ironically to a certain extent so does my husband. My mother's approach initially was simply to drag my dad along until one of her friends commented to her privately at a function: "Wow-___ is really uncomfortable in social situations isn't he?". After that she really got it. After that they had a talk & she simply went out on her own & no one thought much about it-everyone happy. I am happy to report that my dad has slowly found a small group of friends (it started with one-on-one encounters) & eventually even got elected president of the classic vehicle club he became involved with as a result. My mother has been extremely supportive throughout (we all have) & although I don't know that he'll ever be the extroverted social-type my mother & I are he has made great strides all the same. Watching him become a social creature-to have _friends_ has been a true joy for all of us who care about him. As for my husband & I, things are similar, if not quite so severe, in that he has friends-he's just very much an introvert. He will join me occaisionally, if I ask him, or simply because he cares about me. In return, I try to check in on him, make sure he's doing okay, & sometimes leave before I'm ready but he is. On the flip side, I know that I can go out with other people (alone or in groups) to parties, concerts, dancing, events, whatever, & there is no risk of hurting his feelings. He is interested in my experiences, he just shares them vicariously. I get to have as large a social life as I want, he is always welcome, & he is always welcome to decline. In the mean time, if there are people I really want him to meet, I can always arrange for a smaller gathering at our home (where he is more comfortable) or out to eat-or something similar (where there is a definite time limit, in case he is uncomfortable). The way we see it, there are many reasons we love each other-some traits we share, some we each have that the other lacks, & therefore as a pair we help each other to be more complete & to learn & grow from one another. He learns from me to be more social, I learn how to enjoy my solitude. :u) If it were only our social life that we shared & nothing more I don't even think it would qualify as a relationship. Of course ALL of the above came from good old fashioned talking things over with loved ones, going away to mull things over, talking some more, trying things out, seeing what works for whom, etc. My dad would pitch a fit if my mom had guys who were her "date friends", my husband does not-in fact, it was his idea (& a good one too-it's worked well). Talk to each other. Love each other for who you are. If you really care you'll both get uncomfy for each other too (& will grow from it!) This might be a deal breaker for you, but it doesn't have to be. The only way you're going to find out is for BOTH of you to give a number of things a try & work out what's right for each of you (what each of you need individually & from each other-in this arena & in general) TOGETHER. It can be done-Best of luck to you BOTH! .daedalhead*(_ daedalhead answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  13 8 Maybe you and your friends talk about boring shit? Basil answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  4 0 I'm also very socially anxious. Try talking to him about it. That may make him more nervous about it initially but convey that you understand how he feels (use your own experience and people's you know to relate). Hopefully he will feel comfortable to opening up to you more about it later. Don't pry if he doesn't. I would also suggest hanging out with him alone more than in groups. Hang out with him and one other friend at a time. Actively engage him in the conversation and talk about things you know he is very comfortable talking about and interested in. And do things that won't require lots of conversation. (a movie, a concert- if he can deal with that) This tactic has helped me get to know strangers slowly then I will begin to feel more comfortable in larger groups with all the people I've already meet one by one. Also if you are in a social situation and you notice him shutting down or zoning out give him a chance to be by himself or alone with you. For example a quick smoke break or walk around the block. Good Luck and remember to be patient with him. Finger Games answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 0 Is this the only problem? What does he think about it? Has he offered any suggestions to make him more at ease? You haven't really mentioned his side on any of this. Black Beetles in Amber answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  3 1 Aw. I love nerds, too. I would definitely bring it up to him, in a gentle manner. Let him know that your friends want to get to know him better, and you want to show them how awesome he is. Tell him that being more engaged in social situations would mean a lot to you. Ask him if there is anything you could do to make these situations more comfortable for him. He'll still be awkward for awhile, as the awkwardness is probably a matter of self-esteem and self confidence takes time. But, if he's putting in a good faith effort, if you see him trying, and you love him, why not keep him around a little longer? Dadaimean? tickets2gogo answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  1 1 I believe that social skills can (usually) be learned, making eye contact can be learned. If you talk with him about the ways in which his behavior puts people off, and makes you feel awkward, he may make the effort to work on it. Not saying that he'll be a social butterfly or ever really enjoy socializing, but if you don't enjoy having a wallflower fellow, then you're making all the sacrifice. I think it's fair to ask him to give a little, even if it's not his favorite thing. Christy O answered in Relationships 11 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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