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  6 1 1: I have an $800 dress I bought for $70 on bluefly.com, a $500 wallet I got for $40 at the Rack, and endless dresses from Anthropologie and Theory and Marc Jacobs that I got on eBay for dirt cheap. I sure hope that owning these expensive things, that most people would -not- know I got for cheap, doesn't rule me out as a potential partner to someone who otherwise liked me. You don't know where that hat came from, if it was a gift, if he won a gift card, or of he is just really, REALLY particular about his hats. 2: "Anyway, I spend too much money on books and music, so I'm not really in a position to judge." That is your answer right there. Alithea O'Dell answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  6 1 I always give people the 3 strikes your out rule. This is just one strike, not all 3. Jonathan Melusky answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  5 1 I felt sick looking at a picture of the hat. He's found someone who admires it. It must be true love. You deserve each other. I'm not sure what your moral objection is. Is it that he spent more than you think acceptable on an item of clothing? What is your limit for a hat? What if he's still wearing that hat in 10 years? Is it that you assume he spent money on something made in a sweatshop? As disgusting as the hat is, from what I understand True Religion make their jeans in the USA and their hats in I think Italy. If that's the case, then he's paid more for a douchey hat that is better quality (Italian made clothes are excellent, especially if it's finished off with hand-stitching) and less exploitative of the workers who made it. Dump him for wearing the hat in the first place though. Camembert answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report 3 comments by Ed B, Black Beetles in Amber, and Ed B… 0 0 He was cute, so there may have affected my admittedly limited fashion sense. Attractive people can make ugly clothes seem attractive. True Religion does have a reputation as an ethical company; I hadn't thought of that. It just seems grotesque to spend that much money on a utilitarian item of apparel meant to keep the sun out of your eyes. Ed B commented 10 months ago | Report 2 0 I doubt there's a crossover between the "baseball cap wearing" demographic and the "concerned about sweatshops" demographic :p Black Beetles in Amber commented 10 months ago | Report 2 0 Really? I wasn't aware that wearing a baseball cap equals a disinterest in human rights, unless it's a Saipan Garment Manufacturers Association hat or something. Ed B commented 10 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  4 0 I do agree it sound somewhat strange to spend that much on a baseball hat. But if you really liked it maybe he maybe a good choice? It's his money and he is using how he wants too. I would maybe worry about dating this guy if he spends money on hats but runs out for food or rent. However we all have our different values. If you genuinely liked that guy why are you tripping out about his finical choices? You also don't know the situation, sale, gift card, etc. However... you did have a pretty powerful reaction to the hat. If this is part of his personality is it going to be hard to deal with don't push yourself. It will make both of you unhappy. Finger Games answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  3 0 So he has a thing he likes - a hat you admired, no less! - and he's willing to save up and then acquire the thing he likes? A little something nice for himself? He sets goals and attains them - a successful guy, with money and ambition and followthrough? - and for THIS you'd STOP dating him?? OY VEY! (Sorry, channelling my inner jewish mother there). But seriously, why did you make the choice to look it up? Who trained you to judge (a hat, a person, yourself) based on price?? And do you think a perfect partner is someone exactly like you, someone who admires expensive things, yet hypocritically hates spending a lot of money? What up with the catholic-guilt consumerism and need to afix price tags on everything, Ed? You're NOT a cheapskate. You might be low on cash, and you noticed he's not, but you aren't exactly crafting your own furniture out of logs, are you? You admit you like buying nice nonessential things & spending money for your own pleasure - you know, things other than 'a well for children in villages with no water'. Sorry to be harsh, but it's clear from this POV who the materialistic whore may really be. Maybe you two ARE exactly alike. In short: The second date seems like a perfect idea. Ask him to buy you one of those hats, too. RacerX answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report 1 comment by freikja… 0 0 "But seriously, why did you make the choice to look it up?" l'm glad l read ahead, as this would have been the first question l asked. Great post. freikja commented 9 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  3 0 Dude, just ask him about it. He'll either have a good answer, you'll learn something new about him and yourself, or he'll say something materialistic and you'll know exactly why you won't be callling him again. Ley answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  3 0 Yes, it's okay. But then, I'm a confirmed puritanical cheapskate. If you're looking to eventually find a serious partner, their attitude toward money, and which things they value enough to spend a lot of money on, are actually pretty important things to consider. And I take it the baseball cap is a flashing neon sign that says his values and priorities are very different from yours. It might be something you could try to overlook if you got along super-fantastically otherwise, but I don't see that in your question. You don't owe much of an explanation after only one date. If he asks, you might say something like "I had a nice time, but I just think we're really different people," and leave it at that. I don't think that occasionally buying an expensive item makes you un-frugal, particularly if it's something you use a lot, and that you expect to last you a long time. I make an exception for jeans, for example. I kind of doubt a frugal, puritanical cheapskate would own the particular hat in question, though. Nim Chimpsky answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 0 It's okay not to go on a second date with a guy if you don't feel like going- for whatever reason. Is the reason really that you think he spent too much on a hat, though? What else do you know about this guy? Did he make an effort to flash cash, inquire pointedly about your career, or spend unnecessary money on the date? Would dating someone who can afford an $85.00 hat make you uncomfortable because of your own financial situation? I guess what I'm saying is that you probably don't have enough information about the guy to know what the hat's all about...so if that's really ALL that's bothering you and you otherwise had a great time with the guy, why not go on another date? If there's something else, or the cost of the hat just served to justify the feelings you were already having (did he seem materialistic or shallow?), then you shouldn't feel guilty about turning him down for a second date. Sphinx answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  3 1 So he spent $85 on a hat. Big whoop. Is he loaded? To him $85 may be chump change and an easy purchase. When I was single and flush I'd buy nearly anything I liked pretty much regardless of the cost because there were so few things I actually liked. I would, however, seriously consider dumping him just because he wore a baseball hat at all on the first date regardless of cost. If he wore it backwards I would have run away immediately. Unless he was super-hot. Are you a teen? I mean really. No grown man of quality would ever do such a thing. Utterly declasse and absurd. Tom answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  1 0 People who wear baseball caps usually just wear one at a time. If you're the type of person who likes baseball caps, it's pretty silly to get angry over the cost of one. What do I know? I'm a guy who buys ~$300 boots. Black Beetles in Amber answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report 6 comments by Ed B, Black Beetles in Amber, and Black Beetles in Amber… 1 0 Buying expensive, high-quality footwear seems different to me, don't ask me why. It's just.. for God's sake, it's a baseball cap! you wear it to keep the sun out of your eyes. Of course, you wear shoes to keep dirt off of your feet, but it just seems more reasonable, somehow. Ed B commented 10 months ago | Report 0 0 But if you just own one and wear it constantly? Black Beetles in Amber commented 10 months ago | Report 0 0 I mean, baseball caps these days are what, ~40$ for a decent fitting one? Black Beetles in Amber commented 10 months ago | Report 1 0 That's true. Also, as another commenter pointed out, the hat probably wasn't made in a sweatshop, so that would raise the price a bit. I suppose $85 isn't completely unreasonable. Ed B commented 10 months ago | Report 1 0 I get migraines if not wearing sunglasses or a hat. Shades & Hats have function too, and tend to last a lot longer than boots. RacerX commented 10 months ago | Report 1 0 lf you own one and wear it constantly, then my dealbreaker would be washing it occasionally. Just sayin. freikja commented 9 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 1 People have already pointed out that in the grand scheme of things, it really does not matter for what reason you don't go on a second date. If you don't feel it, you don't feel it. But really: "I can't help wondering if he is a grossly materialistic consumer whore." Dude, isn't there only one way to stop wondering? That second date? Gloria answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 1 Everything is not for what it appears to be for. E.g., the walking stick: “The walking stick serves the purpose of an advertisement that the bearer's hands are employed otherwise than in useful effort, and it therefore has utility as an evidence of leisure” -Veblen He displays, but so do you. Just in different ways. That said, of course it's okay. Bion Satir answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  3 2 Two comments: 1. Dating someone based on how much they spent on a hat is as shallow as spending too much on a hat. 2. $85 or priceless?   infernactual answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 2 Totally. pairustwo answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report 1 comment by pairustwo… 6 1 Plus, did you really admire a hat that went so far out of its way to look as if it were "distressed" by 40 years of hard living and then sewn back together by Tim Burton circa Corpse Bride or a child? pairustwo commented 10 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 3 Yes. $85 for a baseball cap is ridiculous. Why date ridiculous people? amelia answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 4 no way you should turn him down for that! Annette Suh answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  0 5 If you go out with me next, yes. I'm way way better. Jon Morgan answered in Relationships 10 months ago | Report 3 comments by Jon Morgan, pairustwo, and freikja… 0 2 oops, you're a guy. I'm straight. Jon Morgan commented 10 months ago | Report 2 0 Yikes! That was close. pairustwo commented 10 months ago | Report 0 0 What a tease. freikja commented 9 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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