Korban_small
Reputation: 135
Follow 0
Follow 1

Who should I follow in the EPL?

I've narrowed it down to Blackburn, Everton or Newcastle United. Whichever one of these clubs has a culture least like Sounders FC would be a bonus.

JJM asked in Sports Teams/Events 10 months ago | Report

Answer this question or share it with a smart friend:

Avatar_default
Type your answer here…

Asker's Favorite

  • Gold-head_small
    Reputation: 6000
    Follow 6
    Fnarf

    Oh dear. How on earth did you end up THERE? The correct answer is of course Tottenham Hotspur, the finest club in all the land. But if you're set, you're set. At least you're not taking the obvious, scumbag route of choosing Man Utd (spit), Chelsea (spit), or the Arsenal (spit).

    Of those three, I'd say the proudest tradition is Everton's. They've won the league more than the other two combined, and have been in the top flight since 1954, which is longer than Manchester United, Liverpool, or indeed any other club besides Arsenal. They're overshadowed by their close neighbors Liverpool FC (their two stadiums are about a mile apart), but Liverpool is a lovely city to be from. In Liverpool they're known as "the people's club", unlike those prima donnas over at Anfield, with whom they have a bitter but oddly cheerful and blessedly non-sectarian rivalry. Liverpudlians and Evertonians will talk each other to death but are unlike to get out the knives and bombs like, say, Man Utd v. Man City or Rangers v. Celtic. In fact, red and blue are not segregated in the stands, unlike most Premier League games -- and nearly every Liverpool family has supporters of both clubs in it somewhere.

    Everton has always played beautiful football, and had a great deal of success, though in the modern billionaire they are not serious contenders -- they're on the outside, in the second tier, with Spurs and Aston Villa, hoping against hope to get enough lucky breaks to play in Europe and maybe, just maybe, get rich enough that way to sneak into the top tier -- but to be honest it's just not likely to happen. They're playing for fourth or fifth at best.

    WHO YOU HATE: Liverpool, Manchester United, London clubs.

    The nicest thing I have to say about Newcastle United is that I like their shirts, the black and white stripes, but their fans are rarely wearing them -- the classic Newcastle fan being an obese shirtless man shouting pornographic abuse in zero-degree weather. They have a less storied history than Everton but an impressive one. I've never been to Newcastle, but one possible drawback (or perhaps bonus) is the Georgie accent, which is absolutely impenetrable -- they sound like Germans trying to dislodge a severe mucus problem. Good beer, though, and you'd be able to show your support in a lot more places -- Newkie Broon is pretty commonly available.

    Their football is somewhat tragic, I'm afraid; Route One all the way, and they've just come back from a terrible run of form including relegation. The club owner is one of the most obnoxious and meddling in the league, which is a problem. If the recent past is anything to go by, you'll be seeing two or three new managers every season, which will be extraordinarily frustrating.

    WHO YOU HATE: Sunderland (currently in a lower division), London clubs.

    Blackburn Rovers are an interesting team. They're probably the most likely to get relegated of the three, which is a tragedy you may not be strong enough to endure. Your choice here is for life, you know.

    Blackburn are in a category best described as "plucky". They probably shouldn't even be in the league at all. Blackburn is an obscure place in Lancashire best known to Americans for the Beatles lyric about "4,000 holes" (which was a real newspaper story, about road potholes). The city of Blackburn is not high on anyone's tourist route, being purely working class and a crumbling remnant of the Industrial Revolution, but they have carved out a niche with imaginative and resilient football. They've even won the Premiership before, something neither of your other choices can say, though their one win was two decades ago in a brief period of insane spending that nearly destroyed the club. They were relegated shortly thereafter, though they've been back for a decade and are now a mid--to-lower table club, though they will struggle every single year -- the struggle to stay up is a hugely stressful one that will cause you to lose sleep. But they're usually a fun team to watch.

    WHO YOU HATE: Manchester United, Bolton Wanderers, London clubs.

    All three of these clubs will give you some cred walking down the street, as any nimrod with a credit card can find himself a Man Utd shirt to parade around in without even knowing who the hell they are, but if you're wearing a Newcastle, Blackburn or Everton shirt it can only be on purpose.

    For an interesting perspective on being an American following the Premiership, you might read "Bloody Confused: A Clueless American Sportswriter Seeks Solace in English Football" by Chuck Culpepper. He settled on Portsmouth, a small team from the south that just happened to have an improbable run of success while he was writing, though they have since fallen into deeply dire straits and have not only been relegated but are in danger of being wound up entirely (i.e., going bankrupt). He's a rather silly man, and Portsmouth is a silly club, but it's an entertaining story of learning how English football and culture work.

    Fnarf answered in Sports Teams/Events 10 months ago | Report
    21 comments by Fnarf, mister_fusspot, and Mahtli69…
    Share this answer with a friend:

1 Other Answer

  • Ab_normal_small
    Reputation: 6
    Follow 0

    How did you narrow it down to these three?

    I'd read a bit about the history of the three clubs (their wikipedia entries should have a run-down) and see if there's anything that grabs you.

    Camembert answered in Sports Teams/Events 10 months ago | Report
    2 comments by JJM and Camembert…
    Share this answer with a friend: