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  8 0 Are you at U of T? I think we've talked about this before. When I was in grad school there several years ago, it was pretty common for my profs to suggest holding meetings in one of the pubs around. One in particular, who is now the Provost at Trin, has a booth in one of the pubs over near St. Mike's that has a pun on his name over it, basically marking it as his office-away-from-his-office. Which is to say that beer between profs/students is a pretty common part of the academic culture there. Where this can get challenging is that grad school is a period of time where you are transitioning from being a student (with all of the significant power differentials) to becoming a peer to your profs and advisors. If they do their job well, you WILL regard them as peers, and may collaborate with them in the future. Asking you to talk about work over beer is the equivalent (roughly) of going out for drinks with colleagues. It's an opportunity to get to know you and what you're interested in beyond just whatever paper you're working on. You can think of it as networking outside the classroom, or just being friendly, or whatever. In most cases, it's an important part of changing how your profs regard you -- shifting from student to peer. All that said, if your guy-is-hitting-on-me radar goes off, there's probably something to that. In discussions with male friends, I've discovered that women are significantly more sensitive to these things than guys are. But, I don't think that negates the friendly gesture of asking you out for a drink. In my experience, it's very possible to have a friendly conversation with a prof without walking away feeling like it was a date -- I've done it successfully many times. MyrnaMinkoff answered in Whatever 7 months ago | Report 1 comment by Gloria… 1 0 Yep, I am! Or was. It was a while ago. Some work circumstances have changed recently and I've been thinking about grad school more seriously again, which is why this was all on my mind. (Love the fact about Trin.) I appreciate the reminder about shifting from student to peer, as I'm really bad with letting go of formality and hierarchy due to my social awkwardness. Gloria commented 7 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  6 0 Tracy is right. If you're worried about harrassment, a pub is safer than an office. It sounds to me like your prof was just being friendly, in a professional way. It's not a crime to be friendly, or to go to a pub. Maybe he likes pubs. Some professors I could mention practically live in them. If he says or does anything inappropriate you can take action, but he hasn't even hinted at it yet. Fnarf answered in Whatever 7 months ago | Report 3 comments by Gloria, Tracy M, and Gloria… 0 0 Thanks, Fnarf :) I'm not really "worried" about harassment from him, per se ... just something I'd rather know as definite or not, as something to keep in mind when I'm interacting with him other times. As I mentioned, I have a terrible head for interpreting social situations, so having as many known cues about a person sets some helpful context. Gloria commented 7 months ago | Report 2 0 Firstly, "Tracy is right" is probably my favorite sentence in the world, so thanks for the birthday present, Fnarf. *smile* Secondly, Gloria, sorry that this event can't be used to gauge whether there was flirting or not, as it's an innocent enough activity. If you're not interested in a relationship with the professor, than just proceed per usual. Because, even if he was flirty, your lack of reciprocation, will have already sent the signal that you're looking to stay platonic/scholarly, and so things will continue as they are now. If you ARE interested, and would like to know if he was making a move, I'd think you'll have to be the aggressor/flirter at a later meeting. But I'd recommend waiting until you were finished taking a class from him, as that's murkier. :P Tracy M commented 7 months ago | Report 0 0 Thanks, Tracy :) Gloria commented 7 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  5 0 I think you need to trust your instincts here...sometimes meeting at a pub is innocent. Honestly, it can be a murky world for professors as well as students, and I don't think there's anything inherently unprofessional about third-location meetings. I had a professor who didn't hold office hours in his office, because a few years earlier he had a friend who'd gotten into trouble for alleged inappropriate behavior. My professor made it very clear that he felt meeting alone in a basement office, without witnesses, didn't help/protect anyone. So he always held his office hours at a cafe/coffee shop a few blocks from campus. It made for a very pleasant meeting place, it was public with witnesses, you got to munch on pastry (if you wanted), and it allowed for better discussions (it was an ethics class, so always meaty discussions). Seemed easier for us to debate big issues in that environment. Because there's the offer of your professor providing a reference, it seems like he's someone you had a good student-teacher relationship with. There were many times that I would meet with a professor in a more informal setting... especially for my thesis adviser and for professors with whom I was doing research. Your colleague seems to be jumping to conclusions here. She may totally be accurate about the "hitting on her" between her professor and herself. But she wasn't there for the interaction between you and your professor. Perhaps it was a tentative first move/hopefully flirting on his part, but if you didn't pick up on it, probably not. Tracy M answered in Whatever 7 months ago | Report 1 comment by Gloria… 1 0 Thanks, Tracy. I just have a terrible, terrible flirt-dar, and that, combined with my co-worker's certainty, made me think again. I totally get the office dilemma ... I actually probably felt more isolated and weird shut up in an office, usually housed in on a semi-abandoned floor. (I wasn't nervous about my professors in terms of propriety, but just nervous in general speaking to teachers.) Gloria commented 7 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  4 0 Trust your gut. If you're to meet in a public place, with lots of folks walking in and out, it's probably innocent. Don't go second guessing your feelings because someone else was, or claims to be, hit on... O my captain answered in Whatever 7 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  2 0 I had a biz professor who frequently invited me for a brew at the on-campus pub. He'd be very surprised to know that he was hitting on me. I think there's a world of difference between a professor asking you for a tete-a-tete in a public place and one who asks you up to his place to see his "etchings." Bauhaus answered in Whatever 7 months ago | Report 1 comment by Gloria… 0 0 I gotta keep that one in mind. Thanks, Bauhaus :) Gloria commented 7 months ago | Report Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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  0 0 I'm in grad school, and there are frequent meetings at pubs/restaurants with my professors and visiting professors. However, I'll be teaching myself next year and have been advised many times that I should avoid any kind of meeting with students outside of a school setting and to be polite but not too friendly with students if I happen to see them while I'm out. These experiences make me think it is more inappropriate to meet profs out of school when you are an undergrad. JSOK! answered in Whatever 7 months ago | Report Comment on this answer Enter your comment or ask a new question preview THIS IS A PREVIEW: Click "Post" to submit it or "Edit" to make changes. edit Please wait… This could take a minute if the tubes are clogged.

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