You don't have to talk. That is never an obligation. You don't have to do the: Hi, I'm ____ and I'm an alcoholic. Go to an open rather than closed meeting at first (which means other people who aren't alcoholics can go, like friends and family, random people off the street, whoever). Go to a large one rather than a small one if you can, makes it less intimidating if you are just one small part of a crowd. Agnostic is fine, it depends on the group and where you live but generally there is just the Serenity Prayer thing they do at the beginning and after that whatever people say about their beliefs etc is up to them, most of the people there tend not to be very much on the religious side where I'm from anyway. The belief part is generally interpreted not as a specific belief in God in the Christian sense but as a belief in some positive force outside yourself. There are lots of different meetings so if you don't like one group, go to another. You can show up late and hang out in the back and leave before it's over if you are that allergic to the serenity prayer thing, it also minimizes other contact. Depending on the group they may make some effort to reach out to you (esp. if the meeting is closed, if the meeting is small) as they will assume you are there for some kind of help. Usually they will encourage you to come back, or call anyone on their list of people to call if you need some help, and if you show up more than a few times probably encourage you to find a sponsor if you want to seriously work on things. If you don't want to deal with this you can say you are there to better understand a family member/friend or are just there to listen and are really shy, and duck out. I went to AlAnon myself for a year or so and never spoke (and it was small groups), and I'd go to AA meetings to better understand a family member from time to time, and never got talked to either (my choice though). People are very respectful of body language, and they are trying to very hard not to scare you away. There is often also a snack/coffee break where people might casually talk to you (or not), you can try to avoid this by going outside, though a lot of AAer's smoke too, so if you are terribly socially phobic you may have to leave at this point, or hide out in the bathroom. There are different formats for meetings, and different topics they work their way through, but if you are lucky enough to go when someone is telling their personal story at length it's usually worth sticking around - the AAer's have MUCH better stories than the AlAnoner's.