Spaceball_small
Reputation: 92

are vegan men considered "un-dateable" by meat-eating women?

i was vegan for a few years and when i got back onto The Meat, i found out through the grapevine that So-and-So and Whats-her-Face would have asked me out if it weren't for the fact that i had "such strict dietary restrictions."

i was kind of baffled because diet isn't a deal-breaker for me when dating is concerned.

i'm interested in the different reasons why being vegan can be a turn-off for the ladies. not masculine enough? "we'd only go out to eat at salad bars."? the sound of free-flowing blood through clear arteries would keep her awake at night?

my god there must be millions

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15 Answers

  • Cateyes_small
    Reputation: 2173

    Being vegan isn't just about diet, often it's about personal philosophy towards eating. There's a perception that being vegan makes you inherently hostile towards people who happily and comfortably consume animal products. No one likes dating to start out on such politically-charged grounds, and for women especially, food can be sensitive. No girl wants to feel that you will analyze what's on her plate and judge her for it. Ick.

    So, I imagine those ladies who declined to step forward did so because they imagined there would be a big headache - emotional and otherwise - in even arranging a single date. I know it would have stopped me.

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  • Jane_small
    Reputation: 319

    Personally, I have never dated a vegan, but I have dated a guy who was allergic to wheat, dairy, and shellfish and it was the biggest pain in my ass ever. He would insist we attempt to eat wherever I would normally eat and then 15 minutes of ordering time would be taken up analyzing the menu with the server to determine what exactly he could eat. It got to be very, very tiring.
    If you add limitations about where one can eat with tiresome proselytizing, I wouldn't want to go there either.

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  • Mspaint_dkff_small
    Reputation: 118

    First, don't ever get too mentally tied to the what-ifs when it comes to finding out So-and-So would have asked you out if you were/weren't/did/didn't X, Y, Z, etc. The moment is lost. All has changed since then.
    It's not worth it to spend any time trying to figure out others' dating filters, especially filters from the past.

    That said, while I could say more women tend to be carnivorous due to women usually needing more iron intake, etc. there's a greater issue here.

    Saying "I'm vegan" is a brave statement in the context of dating someone, in the same way as saying "I like comic books" is or stating anything that colloquially means "I really specialize in something you may not like." You should be proud of being vegan, obviously, but don't be surprised or feel betrayed if date candidates aren't down with that.

    And to be honest, you sound a little bitter about the diet difference thing given your statement "the sound of free-flowing blood through clear arteries would keep her awake at night?" referring to your diet. It is possible to eat meat and have free-flowing arteries too.

    PS: I'm a vegetarian who's in love with a carnivore. Also, this is Seattle. You'll find vegan luvin'.

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  • Snagglepuss_small
    Reputation: 200

    Any dates that have issues with food in anyway are doomed to fail.

    I went out with this guy who was very diet aware and proceded to lecture me about what he ate and blah blah blah. At dinner I ordered the fattiest things I could find on the menu and two deserts relishing each bite while he watched. Yeah, I didn't see him again (or wanted to) and had to double my running mileage for two weeks afterward.

    If food is an issue/concern in any relationship don't pursue it.

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  • Icon_small
    Reputation: 1627

    They wouldn't be to me, but I used to be a vegetarian.

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  • N10741618_9735_small
    Reputation: 232

    They have to adjust their eating habits for you every time they want to go have a meal with you. You're a picky eater, so you'll reject or won't enjoy many of the places she would want to eat at.

    Since eating is a reasonably significant portion of all our lives and since dates typically involve meals together, diet compatibility kind of is an important factor in choosing who to date.

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  • Ozomahtli_small
    Reputation: 2397

    You claim that diet isn't a deal-breaker for you, but you were the one with dietary restrictions. For someone who eats meat, dating a vegetarian or vegan can be a pain in the ass. It limits the meat-eater's food options, both at home and when eating out.

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  • Avatar_default
    Reputation: 1

    I am a vegetarian and dated a vegan for three years (he was an omnivore when we started dating). I didn't have a problem with his diet and for the most part we didn't have a problem finding alternative restaurants/bars to go to; however, the problems came about when he started becoming very preachy about his diet and judgemental of mine.

    With that said, I am a strong believer in following what you believe in, but if you are looking to force your diet/ideas upon someone else you should probably date someone who carries those same ideals.

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  • Profilepic_small
    Reputation: 102

    Yes, absolutely.

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  • Lookalikes_small
    Reputation: 2589

    In my case, it'd be because I love eating at restaurants - it's one of my little vices - and there are damned few vegan options at a lot of restaurants, and I don't want to live on millet and wheatgrass myself. Been there, done that, tired of the carrot juice.

    And I'm not even much of a carnivore - I haven't eaten red meat in almost 30 years.

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  • Photo_17_small
    Reputation: 126

    My vegan ex-boyfriend didn't think so for the three years that we dated.

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  • Arthur1i_small
    Reputation: 164

    Vegan is not a deal-breaker. Insufferable, annoying, preachy vegan is the deal-breaker. Which was it?

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  • Avatar_default
    Reputation: 157

    I think being vegan is much easier here in the NW than just about anywhere else. I've had loads of vegan friends and dates. What's hard, though, is the sneer on the face of your vegan date when you mention that you have a weakness for bacon. Or the increasingly shrill tone of your partner's voice when he starts lecturing your parents on how their food choices are bad for the planet. Or the "it's a way of life" announcements. But the sneer is the worst, and a 100% deal-breaker.

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  • Img_3324_2_small
    Reputation: 1962

    The first letter of a sentence is capitalized, but common nouns, and articles, are not capitalized. Pronouns are not capitalized. Sentences ending with a question mark have no need of a period.

    Being vegan is not a deal breaker. The grapevine is only accusing the girl of being petty. Which she might be, or maybe the grapevine lies. As usual. All the women I know consider illiterates to be undatable, fwiw.

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  • Cinnamon_004_copy_small
    Reputation: 138

    I would not date a vegan because I love to cook and bake and I want to date someone who is willing to eat/enjoy what I cook and bake. :) Also, while most restaurants have some vegetarian options, lots of awesome restaurants don't really have vegan options. Since I love to go out to eat, I feel like we'd have a limited set of restaurants to go to.

    Even a vegetarian might be a stretch for me, at least if it was for "save the animals" reasons because I generally just find that a little annoying. Health/environmental reasons would be more ok as long as the person was then reasonable about the fact that not all eating-of-animals is terrible for the health/environment and thus flexible about eating meat on occasion. I dated a mostly veggie guy last year, but he was still willing for me to roast him a free-range/organic chicken once, so flexible enough for us to coexist peacefully. :)

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