It's real, it's surmountable, and the reason is less sociological than psychological: Seattle contains more introverts , per capita, than other major cities. Consider some heavily circumstantial evidence:

* Seattle has the highest per-capita number of bookworms, the statistic that Jeff Bezos famously used to choose the HQ city of his new online bookstore.

* The ubiquitous Seattle-doesn't-dance complaint at concerts, which really does seem to be unique among big cities

* The rise of Boeing, Microsoft and their heavily engineer-oriented industries isn't an accident, while giving rise to a local culture that's more starkly introverted than other cities with similar corporate landscapes (nerds here are noticeably different than nerds in Silicon Valley, Austin, Boston)

* Correlation doesn't imply causation, but the high incidence of those affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder--on account of the bleak, dreary winters--points to another fact: many people know this and still choose to live here (or move here)

Since extroverts make up the majority of the population, they tend to find introverts baffling, socially awkward, and sometimes downright rude. Take some time to empathize with your prospective introvert friends, and you'll be rewarded eventually. Introverts tend to form stronger, more lasting relationships--you've just got to get over their initial resistence!

Mostly bullshit, but with a small grounding in truth.

Much of what newcomers are referring to is simply due to the fact that this has become a city of immigrants from other cities around the country. As such, whatever old-school Seattle 'tudes may have existed (e.g. the Nordic Ballardian stoicism; the effusiveness of the Asian community in the I.D.; the Latin "heat" of Garlic Gulch, etc., etc.) have been greatly diffused over the past couple of decades by the large influx of new residents, all of whom have brought their own unique social attitudes and ways of doing things from wherever it is they came from.

As a result, there's not been much time for all these different cultural manifestations to meld and assimilate into some sort of new social paradigm. Yet, there is a prevailing assumption by many newcomers that what they experience, which generally is the result of these clashing intersections of cultural behavior, actually represent the Seattle "norm", when in fact, frequently (not always, though) this simply isn't the case.

Also, a lot of the so-called "freeze" can be attributed to the employment cultures developed over the past couple of decades at places like Microsoft, Amazon, et al, where people have been encouraged to both work AND play together to a much greater extent than has perhaps existed here previously, particularly in corporate cultures. Sure, the Boeing machinists may go out for a couple of beers after-shift, or the suits at WaMu for cocktails at The Metropolitan, but then they went home to Renton, or Bellevue, or Wallingford or wherever.

Nowadays, when people are putting in 70+ hour weeks, working odd hours, weekends, etc., they tend to develop much closer social interactions with their co-workers, to the exclusion of anyone outside their particular project area, and that can make it difficult for anyone not already plugged into that particular culture to get a foot in the door as it were.

I wouldn't get too discouraged though, there are still plenty of ways to get to know new people in this town: volunteer for a favorite charity or non-profit; go to a ballgame and try to sit in the same section from game-to-game. Engage in a favorite group activity; basically all the same ways people in other places meet new people. It'll happen, it just might take a little time - everybody is just so darned BUSY around here!

Anyway, that's just my $0.02 on the subject.

I used to joke with a pal who was from NYC about the differences in the way our two cities' populaces are perceived and the way they actually behave.

New Yorkers, and other east coasters, have a rep of being very confrontational bad-asses with hard as steel exteriors. But the reality is that their metallic coating isn't steel, its tin foil, and all ya need to do to break into their "I love you, man" squishiness is the bravery to get within arms reach and poke a hole in it. And once you're in, you're in for life.

Up here in the much more socially frosty PNW everyone is so "nice" and so worried about offending anyone. But all that non threatening politeness which might appear to be accessibility is actually 6 feet of jello surrounding a titanium core with an electronic lock. To get to know a PNW person means swimming through all that nebulous social interaction like @Medina parodied, and then somehow earning their trust enough to get their security code. And even once you're in, have achieved real friendship, there's always the chance that they'll change the code and lock you out again.

These are of course gross generalizations and I personally know more exceptions to the rule then adherents. But being a local girl for over 35 years its still a hard undertow to fight. We are a very tribal community which is not the same thing as saying we are cliquey. As part of a tribe, which is often a chosen friend-family, when you meet someone interesting you don't just look at how well that person will fit into your life but how well they'll meld with the other members of your group.

I think it stems from being geographically isolated for much of our communities relatively young life as well as being a city of transplants, far too many of which end up just passing through. The PNW looks like a pretty sweet deal, but weeks of grey skies and (not so ironically) difficulty in getting to know folks takes a toll, so people leave. Taking the time to get to know someone only to have them move across the country and/or back to where they came from gets old really quick.

But the loop hole is the same here as anywhere, common interests can create quick bonds. Focus on activities that emphasis chatting and group effort like volunteering, clubs, team sports even faith based groups. Bad choices are places like bars or random public events where folks usually go as a group or are focused on some entertainment.

Lastly, we all thaw out a bit this time of year. A combination of sunshine and certain urges that make it more necessary for us to widen our circle a bit for new prospects.

There's no "Seattle Freeze." There is this weird West Coast friendliness which seems totally fake to a New England boy like me.

If you don't want to be my friend, don't strike up a conversation just because I'm standing near you. People in Seattle do this all the time, it NEVER happens in Boston.

I remember people at my college complaining about how hard it was to make friends at that school, and it reminds me of the Seattle Freeze complaint. It is hard to make friends, period. Where you are just puts a different spin on that hardness.

Bullshit. Its just an excuse people use to make themselves feel better when they can't make any friends. "it's not me, its the Seattle freeze". Guess what folks? if everyone takes great pains to not be around you perhaps it is time to take a look at yourself rather than blame an imaginary social phenomenon.

To answer your second question, people prattle about it endlessly because people are fucking idiots.

Further investigation of the Seattle Freeze may lead to differentiation of the meaning of such of these roots as are real roots.