I saw my pediatric dentist until I was about 20. I was sick of the silly printed masks my dentist and hygienists wore by 12, but they were really good, respectful, on my family's insurance, and had a Donkey Kong table style arcade game to play while fluoride treatment was applied. Before I was a patient of that practice, though, I saw a regular dentist for several years, only stopping because my first dentist moved. This was ages 4-8.

I'd say you can make the transition whenever you feel like it, unless your kid has special problems with his/her teeth and jaw that necessitate a pediatric practice. I had to have all but one of my deciduous teeth pulled as a kid (the permanent ones were growing in behind them), but both of my childhood dentists did that work without issue.

"It would be nice if this Penn State situation could bring about more awareness of abuse, more reporting, less shame, and, of course, less abuse."

Well, in Penn state's case I'd say avoid any situation where the institution is deified by a community and untouchable to criticism. Hero worship apparently allows molestation to become a known secret amongst an institution, his charity and the college were both aware of his proclivities for years.

Funny that you posted this because we are having a challenging time with our 4 year old son. He wants to make all the decisions for us, thinks his ideas are best/correct, and doesn't listen well. I think it is related to his cognitive and social development. Remember how when they were toddlers and they did parallel play, playing near other kids but not with them? That has progressed to learning to play with others. I'm thinking the progression is about learning how to be a part of a group now, such as negotiating, managing ones feelings when you don't get your way, controlling ones impulses, etc.

I have started talking to him in a teaching manner when I can, to work on the context of the what and why that we aren't going along with his idea. I have tried to couple that with naming my feelings, a la emotion coaching, to help him understand how he is affecting me -- in example "I am feeling frustrated that you gave the baby the toy when I told you not to. The baby could get hurt. That you did it anyway after I told you twice us now making me feel angry". This helps me to couch my temper as well. My partner is equally frustrated and I have to remind him to dial it down sometimes, as our son needs room to explore and learn and try making decisions, both good and bad (ie

Because no one cares? I mean, seriously, you're talking about a 30 calorie difference.

And I'm firmly in the camp of not taking away the one marginally healthy thing that kids get to eat at school that doesn't taste like shit.

I am not so convinced that this one issue would be significant in the alleviation of overweight condition of kids (which was not your point, I understand). As BBiA points out the actual amounts of added sugar is about what you would find in one Reese's Peanut Butter cup. It adds, but the overall picture of what else is in the meal has to be taken into account.

The final and most important factor is the behavior of the child consumer. Once, I was called into doing some additional behavioral research on a particular child in my school district (that I had worked with as an occupational therapist for a couple of years). He was getting into fights and exhibiting argumentative behavior at particular points of the day. Knowing this kid (it was out of character for him) and when this was occurring, I started to suspect that he was experiencing low blood sugar episodes. With the help of other staff and myself I decided we would chart what he was eating in the day. He was on the free breakfast program and got school lunch provided (as per the income status of his family). So during one typical lunch of pizza, veggie dish, milk, and cookies I observed - cookies eaten first, with about half of milk consumed, two bites of pizza eaten, and then the remainder of the milk and the rest of the food swept into the garbage. Other meals showed similar patterns. The food was there, but the high sugar sources were eaten first and then the other stuff was sampled and then ditched.

Now I don't have an answer for this problem, but the first point is to provide a generally healthy meal in total, the next is getting kids to eat that meal. The addition of chocolate milk to the menu is not a deal breaker. You'd be surprised how many kids choose the plain milk over the chocolate. There were always more crates of plain milk in the line than the chocolate in the schools I worked in.

As and aside I remember the days when we got our school lunch meal, entree and veggies, etc. and when we were done we took our tray up to turn it in AND THEN got a dessert. If you hadn't eaten much of your meal the lunch lady would refuse to give you the piece of cake (or cookie or whatever) unless you went back and ate more of the food on your plate. Sounds like what happens at most home dinner tables doesn't it? How do we expect any different behavior from some kids that don't have good home eating patterns when we give them a meal AND the dessert on the tray at the same time. There is a lot of this problem that needs to be addressed with how families eat and I am not sure chocolate milk on the menu is a keystone issue.

Milk and "100% natural" juice are both sugar-drenched by nature.

Edit: Just for the hell of it I checked out some cartons at work.

2% milk 12 grams sugars 130 calories 236ml
chocolate milk 25 grams sugars 160 calories 236ml
100% apple juice 19 grams sugars 80 calories 136ml
100% grape juice 25 grams sugars 100 calories 136ml

This question is probably better asked to someone at Seattle Public Schools. They would have an answer.

However, if you've seen the lunches (and I've seen many) I think the chocolate milk is the tip of the iceberg. You should see all the carbs and all the fried stuff.

Typical lunch: fried chicken patty on a bun with fries, and a roll on the side. No kidding.

Fortunately, kids are allowed to take as many fruits and vegs as they want, at least at the schools I've been at.

I have waited to post a small suggestion here, thinking of the obvious reaction some may have to it. There are many good points made by others here and in some ways I am building on the sports theme.

My thoughts are to encourage your daughter to get involved in some formal training in martial arts, gymnastics or even dance. The idea is in many instances the kids that are picked on stand out by being physically or socially awkward. Learning physical skills to build confidence in movement as in body-in-space awareness can go a long way to improving self-esteem. Martial arts training (Judo, Karate, Tae kwon do, Aikido and many others) can offer physical learning as well as improving concentration, calmness of mind and mental clarity and really have goals of learning to avoid conflict and not to react in a combative way (unless forced). Some forms also do not emphasize kicks or punches but more how to flow with movement and protect the body as well as to simply turn an attacker's energy aside or against the aggressor (Judo, Aikido). Finding the right fit for your parental philosophy and availability will require your own research.

Improving social skills so that she is better able to make friends helps in a major way also. People who have a community are not as likely to be targets. Even if you are not running with the favored crowd, not being alone is protective. Learning the skill of "in order to make friends learn to be a friend" goes a long way to being included with others.

Teach her to love herself by leading by example. Tell her to defend herself, verbally and physically if nessesary. Show her videos from The It Gets Better Project. Insist that she learn to stand up for others when she sees bullying happening.
I work with at risk young adults, and I see bullying all the time. I always say something like, "how can you let that kid talk to your friend like that. You should be embarrassed" Kids need to learn accountability and empathy. Only then will bullying cease.

Get her involved in sports. There is a certain self-confidence that comes from them, but more importantly it makes a kid not as afraid of physical contact and collision.

Sure, they will still be scared of bullies, but they will have both emotional (through other good parenting) and physical (sports) self-confidence. That can be essential for resisting and standing up to bullies.

Speaking strictly from personal experience, self-confidence is really the key. The less confident a kid is, the more open they are to caring what other people think of them. I gave up trying to fit in in 12th grade, immediately fell in with a great group of kids just like me, and it was by far the best year of school I'd ever known.

If she has other, smaller social groups outside of school (art class, a sport, volunteering), sometimes that can help her build up her self esteem and figure out what type of person she wants to be (shy, assertive, etc.), and those lessons carry on to bigger fishbowls.

The temptation, of course, is going to be to step in and help. Resist the temptation to fight your kid's battles for her...I promise that will only make it worse. Know that this is also an important life lesson only learned by hard experience. Knowing that your parents support you DOES make a big difference, even if you feel frustrated that surely, you could be doing more.

Make sure she knows where to draw the line: e.g., verbal abuse sucks, but you can get through it. Physical abuse should be reported. Establish an open, honest relationship with your kid, so that she's less likely to conceal abusive behavior from you is she feels embarrassed or ashamed. Those relationships works best when they go both ways, by the way...open up to her too.

This also feels like an odd thing to add, but when you can, be receptive and willing to act if someone complains that YOUR kid is the bully. Parents have a hard time believing that, but bullies can come from any kind of family, and often have very loving, supportive parents.

The book Protecting the Gift covers bullying, amongst other safety issues, as well as how to speak to your children and trust your intuition.

Brava, Cheree!

And I would connect you with http://www.PricelessParenting.com - Kathy has much more info on this than I do.

One of the hardest things for kids to understand is that they can talk about it and be heard. Why? Because they're "encouraged" (or threatened) not to talk about it and, often, adults don't listen.

So #1, be the parent who listens, no matter what the topic. You child will make mistakes and may get caught in tricky and embarrassing situations for which they feel shame. Be the parent who will always listen.

The kid needs a job.

Give her some chores. Put her to work. Give her an assignment...something with paste and beads (do they eat them at that age...can't remember...).

Hi Cheree,

She's just testing you to get you to react. You don't need to sit down and talk with her (you can see that's not working).

Just assume that stomping and saying, "FINE!" is her way of saying, "Yes, I've heard you."

Your response, "OK thanks honey. I love you."

She'll stop.

Really.

HOpe this helps,

Margit@MargitCrane.com

You need a convertible carseat. I've seen some that are really uncomfortable for kids, with no room for their legs, and some that are comfy with lots of room. I would spend at least $100. The cheaper ones don't fit in most cars correctly, along with being uncomfortable for a toddler. This one: http://www.target.com/Evenflo-Titan-Elite-Convertible-Seat/dp/B004I57DW6/ref=sc_qi_detaillink I have seen in use, and it's a good one. It is rear facing up to 35 lbs, I believe and goes up to 40 once you turn them around. And of course you could spend much more on a fancy Britax.

"We thought that things would gradually improve to a 7pm-7am sleep with no wake ups, but here we are at 10 month and it's not any better."

Well, heck. Someone's gone and made you think baby raising's easy. Kick them, hard, in the shin for me, and remind yourselves often of the truths: "we'll never sleep again, all babies are different, and ours is about average".

However, the "letting the baby sleep in your bed" thing will bite you in the ass when your sex life wants to come rearing back from the dead - I highly recommend putting the kibosh on that habit ASAP. If anything, THAT'S the thing you should be letting baby 'cry out' about.

Started biking alone to friend's houses a mile or so away at age 8. Started bussing at age 10 for short trips. Started, like Myrna, using the bike&bus when I was 13, and the entire county opened up to become my playground.

These days, I wouldn't let my child do any of that, that young. So I'm a total hypocrite. ;)

All babies need to learn to 'sleep'. Either the caretakers teach them or they find a sleep pattern on their own. We didn't CIO (cry it out), we simply enacted a sleep time and routine (as well as a flexible nursing/food schedule), that we enforced on ourselves (parents) without many variations. Babies need clues to be reinforced to feel 'safe' and fall asleep. Our child will NOT sleep for more than 8 hours, so we settled on a bed time of 10pm to 6am, nursing/bottles every 3 hours from 6am to 9pm. After the baby feeding at 6am, morning routine, diaper change and a bit of play in the crib, she sleeps from 7am to 8:30am, without prompting or supervision.

This routine began at 3 months and continues into her 7th month. She regularly naps during the day, which is very important, if she is to fall asleep promptly at 10pm. Check out the literature on baby sleep/child development at the Library, it was very informative and helpful to us.

Bourbon.

7pm to 2am sounds pretty good to me. Sleeping seven hours in a row at that age is considered sleeping through the night. Go to bed when he goes to bed? You could try to rock him back to sleep instead of nursing him, but most babies will not sleep for 12 hours without waking up at all. How many adults sleep all night without waking up? Eventually he'll sleep all the way through the night (age 2-4) and be able to get himself back to sleep when he does wake up. He's a baby and needs to know that his parents are there when he wakes up.

If your kid is just waking up (not hungry, not distressed, not wallowing in his own filth), then leave him alone in his crib to sleep. It's not mean to let him learn to self pacify if he's bored with being in bed, and you'll be able to sleep better yourselves, which is more important than you think. Yes, it will suck in the short term, but just leave him be and he'll learn to go back to sleep on his own. Otherwise, he's just going to continue to expect you to always pick him up/nurse him/sing songs/etc. if he's awoken or bored.

So yeah, suck it up and sleep train him--if you're already stressed and exhausted yourselves, how is letting him cry it out going to be any worse? The kid's not dying/puking/hungry, just bored (and I'm sure you can hear the difference between bored and distressed cries). He'll learn to deal, as will you.

However, expecting an infant to sleep for 12 solid hours is a bit much. Could you move his bedtime back a bit at a time so that his 7-8 hours of sleep coincides with yours? He can nap during the day--I'm betting you can't.

I am a child safety instructor www.savvyparentssafekids.com and I tell parents all the time, it is our JOB as adults to help our kids safely navigate their world. This means, landing our "parental helicopters" and getting kids out into the world and experiencing real life..including riding the bus and walking to school and doing "normal" activities. I believe the most important thing parents can do is to give their kids good common safety sense. Talk about what to do "if" they need help, consider a cell phone and check in with them about their experiences on the bus. I am sure some GREAT conversations will come out of it. Parents will obviously have to figure out if there are off limit areas of town, but with guidance, riding the bus is a great way to help older kids be more independent!

I'm a parent and rather than "I started riding the bus when..." statements, I can share that my 16 year old has been Metro bussing to high school since her freshman year with no hiccups. If your kids are SPS high school students, they'll get ORCA cards rather than a yellow bus assignment to get to school so 14 is seen as an appropriate age by the district. I love that my daughter has figured out how to use Metro's Trip Planner, has general knowledge of what routes take her where and can get herself to orthodontic and other types of routine appointment without me leaving work mid-day. Statistically speaking, it's far more dangerous for the kids to be in my car with me behind the wheel than on the bus and will be exponentially more dangerous once my 16 year old has her permit and starts learning to the drive. Me tooling around the two lane roads of South King County in a '74 Ford Courier with no shoulder belt or air bags at 50 mph on a regular basis during the early '80s was a far, far more dangerous thing to do than take Metro.

I grew up in the burbs of CA, TX & then in Redmond, WA. So the first time I was on a bus from Redmond to Seattle, with my 11 year old brother in tow, to meet my mom for lunch she gave us orders to tell the bus driver where we were going and that we were meeting our mom. We were both a little nervous and scared but also excited at the prospect of traveling like adults (yeah, that excitement soon wears off) and it went off fine.

Instruct your kids on the basics of safety and it should be just fine (and a 15 year old has already got to be feeling like he or she is an adult, I can't imagine that kid hasn't already been on a bus!)

The other answers are excellent. I wanted to add that as a young woman in my 20s when I first came to Seattle, I did experience sexual harassment on the buses several times. I think it is important to talk through different conflict scenarios with your kids to help give them some ideas about how to handle: random crazy people, drug dealers, people trying to pick a fight with anyone, sexual harassment. Solutions could be don't respond, move your seat (especially before it becomes an issue), talk to the bus driver, get off the bus and take the next one.

The book Protecting the Gift is a good one for parent to read about keeping safe, and you can share sections with your kids as you see fit.