You're so right! Babies don't need a lot of "stuff.". The "stuff" is usually for the convenience of the parents. Here are some essentials: Diapers, burp cloths (or more cloth diapers!), blankets big enough to swaddle (square ones work best), t- shirts and "sleepers" with feet. If mom is breastfeeding and returning to work, she will probably need a reliable professional grade pump. Bouncy seats are a nice, soft place for baby to land when parents' hands are full. And, of course, a car seat. The baby will also need a safe place to sleep. Parents' bed, co-sleeper, bassinet, or crib are all fine choices. If mom is not breastfeeding, baby will need formula and bottles as well. Strollers are nice, but usually young babies prefer to be held--so a sling or something like it can be very helpful!

Hello- Have you looked at Baby Diaper Service? That's one of the oldest around and may be the most reasonable price wise. They bring you clean cloth diapers and pick up the dirty ones. Many people request this as a baby shower gift. Promo code

Another option is going around to the various baby/child consignment stores. They often have heaps of cloth diaper covers for sale and still in good condition. The actual cloth diapers are not very expensive. I think you can get a pack of 12 for around $16.

Happy Diapering!

I needed cloth diapers and wraps, a car seat, and a baby sling so I could wear my babies while doing other things.

Clothes were from Goodwill or Value Village.

I have a 3 year old. We got a fair amount of stuff when we were preparing for her birth, but nothing in the way of 3 strollers.

My list for a newborn:

-Diapers (we used cloth diapers and washed them at home, so we needed inserts, covers, wipes, a pail, a waterproof bag for the pail, and special laundry detergent)
-a changing mat
-a carseat/stroller combo
-a crib and assorted sheets, mattress covers, etc
-a breast pump and accessories (bottles, bags, breast pads)
-several good nursing bras
-the Baby Bjorn bouncy seat (saved my sanity and the only way I got a shower the first few months)
-baby clothes and detergent
-medical/hygiene supplies (fingernail clippers, nasal aspirator, baby shampoo, infant acetaminophen and ibuprofen, thermometer, etc)
-blankets for swaddling
-a high-quality diaper bag with lots of pockets

I think 3 strollers is probably excessive, but I try not to judge other moms. Mothers face so much judgment and criticism for every decision that they make that they simply don't need any more piled onto them for the stuff that doesn't really matter. If you're not having a baby anytime soon, what is it to you if she has a swing AND a bouncy seat AND an exersaucer?

I love my mother very much but I didn't want her, or my sisters, in the delivery room with me. I couldn't think of a more private, vulnerable moment I could have in my life and family dynamics would have just added to the stress.
My husband and I make a great team and he was awesome during delivery. One of my sisters isn't so lucky. Her husband is a great guy but not the best support person in a stressful or emotionally trying situation. She got a doula for her second child and was very happy she did. The doula is a 3rd party, someone to help that isn't a family member or close friend. Someone neutral to assist in whatever way is needed.

I would like to add one point to CrazyCatLady's excellent answer.
One thing a doula has that the laboring woman's mother doesn't is emotional distance.
Even if the doula is the laboring woman's friend, she's not going to feel the same level of anxiety that her mother will feel seeing her dear daughter suffer. You need a cool head, and the last thing the birth mom needs is to worry about her own mother. A good doula should radiate calm. We mothers don't always radiate calm, do we?

I was very glad that we had a doula when our son was born. We had chosen a midwife over a doctor, and a birthing center over a hospital. A friend offered to provide the services of a doula as a gift, and I'm very glad we accepted. Midwives, just like doctors, have to divide their attention among several patients at a time. They sometimes have the same problems listening to patients that doctors do. The doula, however, is there for the mother and her partner. She helps with practical things. She guides the mother and her partner through labor. This was really important to me, as the father, because the doula helped me have an important role in the birth of our son.

A doula also helps communicate with the midwife or doctor. A doctor, or even a midwife, won't be in the room the whole time. Until the last part of labor, they might just check in periodically. The doula, however, will be there the whole time, and may notice things that the doctor or midwife misses, and that the mother can't communicate.

I have a friend in Cali who is a Doula, this is from her website:

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What is a Doula?
From The New Oxford American Dictionary:

doula |ˈdoōlə|
noun
a person, usually a woman, who is professionally trained to assist a woman during childbirth and who may provide support to the family after the baby is born.

From Doulas Of North America (http://www.dona.org)

"A birth doula...
...recognizes birth as a key life experience that the mother will remember all her life...
...understands the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor...
...assists the woman and her partner in preparing for and carrying out their plans for the birth...
...stays by the side of the laboring woman throughout the entire labor...
...provides emotional support, physical comfort measures, an objective viewpoint, and assistance to the woman in getting the information she needs to make good decisions...
...facilitates communication between the laboring woman, her partner, and clinical care providers...
...perceives her role as one who nurtures and protects the woman's memory of her birth experience."

How Can a Doula Help You?

Having an excellent support team is essential to a fulfilling birth. This team consists of the birthing mother, her medical care provider(s), and can also include the mother's partner, family, and/or close friends.

A Doula is a separate member of the team, brought in to provide constant, objective support to the woman during her late pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Rather than replacing the other members of the support team, the doula works with them to provide both mental and physical comfort to the mother. She does this through the use of breathing exercises, massage, visualizations, and other stress reduction techniques, as well as a constant outpour of support for the woman giving birth.

Additionally, the doula serves as an information and reference bank for the pregnant woman, providing explanations of common situations in childbirth, medical complications, and possible interventions in order for the mother to make informed decisions about her own care.

A doula is a non-medical professional, meaning that she can provide emotional and physical support, however she is not qualified to partake in clinical tasks such as examinations, or the prescription of treatment. She will, however, work as an advocate on the mother's behalf, supporting the mother's choices as well as empowering her to communicate her wishes with her health providers, by way of a flexible birth plan.

Having a doula can be an excellent choice for any mother, regardless of the extent of her support team already in place. Because of the support received from a doula, a woman is less likely to request an epidural or other pain medication, and is less likely to require birth by vacuum or forceps, or birth by cesarean.
Having a doula can increase the likelihood that a woman will feel satisfied with her birth, have a better maternal-infant interaction, and experience less postpartum depression.
Although every birth has the potential for complications, several studies* suggest that the presence of a doula can significantly lower these complications and the necessity for medical interventions.

* Summaries of these studies can be found at http://www.dona.org/resources/research.php

I can't answer your question about the doula, but, having had natural chilbirth twice, I can reflect on maybe why she doesn't want you in there.

Speaking purely from personal experience, childbirth, particularly if you're doing it without anesthesia, is a grueling and extremely intimate process.

My mother is a wonderful person, I can tell her anything and count on her in any crisis; I love her deeply, but I don't think I would want her in the room if I were sweating, screaming, cussing and bleeding, possibly for hours on end.

Childbirth is not a time when you want to have to be ladylike, or perky and upbeat, or even be obliged to relate to the other people in the room if you don't feel like it. It's really all about the person who's having the baby, until the baby pops out, then it's all about the baby.

There is a natural divide that a grown-up offspring has to enforce in order to establish their grownupness, and I would advise you not to push your daughter on this issue, but be ready in the waiting room to enjoy your new grandbaby. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to help once the baby is here. Congratulations!

Keep trying. Look for the right combination of factors that doesn't cause the poor child to freak out.

Are you expressing milk for bottle feeding? Is it the right temperature?

Are you using formula? That stuff smells nasty. Have you tried a different brand?

Have you tried different nipple types? Is the nipple too big or too small?

Is the baby easily distracted when feeding? Then turn down the lights, the t.v. or radio, shoo the dog out, etc.

Do Dad and/or Grandma use cologne? They shouldn't.

The trick is to get the most boringly inviting atmosphere for feeding. You may need to wait longer to feed just to make sure baby is good and hungry.

If she's hungry enough, she'll take a bottle. Eventually. At least, that's what I've heard from other parents with this problem. Once you get over the initial hump, it should get much easier.

You've probably already tried this, but squeeze a few drops out of the nipple so she knows it's in there. And, make sure the bottle is warm, so the milk feels and tastes like the "real thing".

I don't know if you have worked with any lactation or breastfeeding specialists or not in the past but the following website is a good resource for finding the right folks to provide research and experienced based answers.

http://www.breast-friends.org/pages/hospital.html

This is the page that shows the hospital based services but there are references to the La Leche League and other listings through the links on the left side of the page.

Many of the listings indicate that free phone consultations or other problem solving services are available.

Many experts would say that you waited too long to introduce a bottle to your kid, so you're going to have problems and this won't happen in a day. Will she take a bottle if you give it to her? If so, you can try getting her on the bottle, then passing her off to your husband.

Your kid is not only used to being exclusively breast fed, but also to your scent, sound, and general being. Dad and Grandma are quite different and probably confusing.