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Pride Week Q&A
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Pride Week is here and 200,000 odd-people (odd as in approximately) will be showing up for the many events and spectacles - planned and spontaneous. You probably have questions. Our expert panel definitely has answers. Featuring Dan Savage, David Schmader, Adrian R...

Answers
  • Why doesn't the pride parade march through, say, non-pro-GBLQT neighborhoods and make more of a statement, say, against homophobia?
    Skull_pumpkin_small

    No one goes to Magnolia unless they live there so it's not a great high-visilbility location. I'm here to help, Rev, but I don't want to spend all weekend traipsing through one neighborhood of Seattle after another. :) (Also, I considered buying a house there and no one tried to run me down with their car. I don't think the neighborhood has problems with Teh Gay.)

    Putting it downtown means that you've got a nice grid to march on (and route traffic around), and a good endpoint to spread people out when they are done marching and want a beer. Since downtown is not the gay ghetto, as Kip pointed out, that location is in the face of the general population, not to mention quite a few tourists lost looking for the original Starbucks. And you don't want more than one parade too close to the others or you will dilute your audience and your marchers.

    There's a big difference between where you put the parade and being out and proud. Those of us who are out every day in places that you wouldn't necessarily consider friendly turf are doing our bit, as are the performers in gay or gay-friendly organizations who travel to other cities in the region, like Edmonds, Bremerton, and so forth. Being out is not a once-a-year event. Think of the parade as one more event rather than The Sole Gay Hoopla in Seattle and it makes more sense to do it centrally.

  • Proper Ally Attire in parade?
    4414_109323624782_687524782_2805965_280598_n_small

    don't be silly, sweet silly breeder person! here's the absolute axiom: wear whatever the damn shit hell you want. that's the raison d'etre of the beast!

    think about it just like burning man: would you fret about wearing whatever the heck that came into your head--a prom dress, a newspaper jogging suit, a burning wig made of barbie dolls, not a gosh darn thing--just becaue you are allegedly a str8 type person? at burning man? at carnival? at mardis gras? dang. of course not!

    wear a tuxedo! wear a tshirt and flip flops! wear paint! wear a skirt of twittering leprechauns! just avoid poodle-fur, realistic george bush masks, and "GOD I HATE LADY GAGA!" t-shirts, and you're golden. trust me. and thanks for asking! it was most polite indeed! PRIIIIIIIIIDE!

  • How can I become a gay icon? Tips anyone?
    4414_109323624782_687524782_2805965_280598_n_small

    make a deal with satan. it's the only way!

  • Best place for me to catch the Gay Pride festivities?
    Sacri_ordines_by_charism_small

    SYM - welcome; nice timing!

    As far as drinks, do what friends & I often did at Pride: BYOFlask.

    If you're looking for a sweeping view of the parade:
    The upper balcony/mezzanine of Westlake Mall/Center isn't bad, but kinda far away.
    also: The starbucks at 4th and Pine should be jammed packed, but would make an interesting, more up-close, viewing booth.

    The Dahlia Lounge or Lola (both 4th and virginia, both owned by Tom Douglas) might be ok places to drink and view.
    And
    The Two Bells tavern/bar/grill on Bell & 4th might be the very best bet.

    There's more than sunday's parade: friday at Cal anderson park there's Prom Dress Rugby; 1pm sat the Wildrose hosts a block party; there's a Dyke March at Seattle Central CC at 5pm saturday; and Julia's gay pride block party happens all weekend. See www.seattlepride.org and click 'events'.

  • Is it true I will turn gay by watching Soccer games? And, if so, what will happen to me after watching the World Cup?
    4414_109323624782_687524782_2805965_280598_n_small

    yes. it is true. absolutely. and what will happen to you after? you will be compelled to send naked pictures of yourself with stats and turn-ons to adrian@thestranger.com. from there, it's in fate's hands. god speed.

  • How's your handshake?
    0prr6_small

    My handshake is firm enough to equal the iron grip of many a straight guy who has attempted to prove his masculinity by trying to crush my hand. It is an amusing and unspoken ritual that actually happens frequently. The best part is the look in his eye as I crush his hand back, while smiling.

    Speaking in broad generalizations, gay men are very polite and it is an old fashioned tradition to gently grasp the hand of a woman and save the firm grip for a man. I have met very few gay men who have anything less than a firm handshake when socially appropriate.

  • Why oh why did Pride Parade ever leave Broadway?
    4414_109323624782_687524782_2805965_280598_n_small

    Welp, actually, the Seattle Gay Pride Parade long ago set a standard for being a flighty bitch who might up and switch neighborhoods on you at any moment!

    The very first Pride Parade paraded through Pioneer Square. Gay Pride Seattle began in 1974 down in Pioneer Square. Like all Pride Events to this day, it was thrown in honor of the Stonewall Riots, of course.

    The event followed the migrating gays to Capitol Hill in the early 1980s, and there it thrived.

    In 2006, Parade organizers split with the Capitol Hill Tradition--they had been talking about it for years-- and moved the Parade and ensuing fest Downtown, which caused a big bitchy rift among Seattle Gays, let me tell you. (Dan Savage had been advocating since the early 2000s for the Parade’s downtown relocation, mostly citing a, “We’ve outgrown the hill! Other major cities’ Pride Parades go through downtown, ours should too!” reason or something.

    The move and the ensuing debt almost killed the Parade and its after party entirely in 2007. But clever Gayness prevails, and Pride Parade and rally persist…Downtown…

  • Broken gaydar
    Skull_pumpkin_small

    Listen to the people around you and hang out with a diverse group.

    "___"dar is improved by exposure to people who are "____". If "_____" is "former military" then over time you will learn to spot people who used to be in the military, even if they're now sporting hair to the waist and love beads. Diversity is important. If you only hang out with the former military people who are extremely macho in manner and appearance, you will only be able to spot the people who look like them. It's the same thing if "______" is "gay". If you hang out only with theater queens or softball dykes, you will be able to detect theater queens or softball dykes but others will slip right by you. The better you know someone the more likely you are to be right.

    No one's "_____"dar is always right. People who think theirs is perfect just don't know when they're wrong. Out of curiosity, why do you want to improve your gaydar?

Questions
Recent Comments
  • Comment on Fnarf's answer…
    Cat-duck-2_small

    know what I mean, know what I mean, know what I mean?

  • Comment on Rev.Enant's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    Who the hell is following you around and putting a thumbs-down on all your answers?! I LIKE this answer. I agree with everything you said. Somebody doesn't seem to like you, Rev., but I do!

    *grumble, grumble, haters, grumble*

  • Comment on Kip Waddle's answer…
    Photo_on_2012-01-03_at_17

    Since Rev. Smith says Bi's are the doublemint gum of homosexuality, green just might work as the right color!!! Double your pleasure, double your fun never sounded so sexy!!!

  • Comment on Dan Savage's answer…
    Photo_on_2012-01-03_at_17

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I wasn't expecting it. Very funny!

  • Comment on Adrian Ryan's answer…
    Photo_on_2012-01-03_at_17

    I love you Adrian! You rock! Animated christmas specials are the best! And...it doesn't really get any better than Dolly Parton. I still need to go to Dollywood sometime. I wonder if they have a ride that is a replica of her boobs and you can like ride in between them or something...hmm..

  • Comment on Kip Waddle's answer…
    Sacri_ordines_by_charism_small

    Geni: bisexuals should claim the lime greenish middle section of the rainbow as the official team color ;)

    (And PFLAG gets me because all they bring is love, love without labels, or conditions, or laws about what's a legitimate love,
    maybe because Parents and Friends know -Love- better than certain politicians and preachers... )

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Skull_pumpkin_small

    If you don't feel comfortable sharing blood then you probably shouldn't be donating anyway. The rules are not relevant. There's a q at the end of the donor survey that asks if there is any reason you feel like your blood should not be used (they don't want the reason, just to know what you think). It's all about whether you'd check that box.

    I know my habits and I am comfortable donating. So I will get off my ass and do it.

  • Comment on Kip Waddle's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    Yes, and yes. :-) So proud my eyes well up embarrassingly all day long during the Parade. (Why do the PFLAG folks make so many of us teary? They get me every time.)

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Avatar_default

    Thanks a ton for answering, CSN. I feel like I've asked 100 people (including Dan) and nobody wants to take it on. And, ditto to testing and monogamy. It's been 8 years since I was with someone who wasn't (the dude who is now) my dom. partner. I was never a particularly HIV type of risky in the first place. But I don't think you or I are ZERO risk. Sloppy-wet-kissing someone isn't a ZERO HIV-risk activity - truly, that's not my friend's brother's whatever. It's so rare but it happens. While I would do that and not worry for a second about getting HIV for my own sake, I wouldn't want to do a ton of that and then give blood. I am zero% selfishly worried I have HIV, but I sweat giving blood at a higher standard. Holy shit you could give someone HIV! I'm just not sure where it's reasonable to draw that line.

  • Comment on Kip Waddle's answer…
    0prr6_small

    here is a simple test: are you proud to be bi and are you proud of our wonderful gay community here? if the answer is yes, (and we know it is) then you are free to express your pride in an official manner.

  • Comment on Kip Waddle's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    No, but you'd better be a pirate if you want to ride on the boat and get to kidnap the pretty girls...I didn't mean just to attend Pride, I meant specifically to be included as someone SHOWING pride.

    And you're right about the rainbow, of course. That's a big DUH for me.

  • Comment on Adrian Ryan's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    Oh hell, Adrian, I'll never get out of college. And I'm 50. ;-)

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Skull_pumpkin_small

    You're right, there is no such thing as 100% certainity. But I've had an HIV test and since then have been monogamous with someone who's also had an HIV test. I'm pretty darned sure I'm HIV-.

    Whether you're more or less of a risk than someone else isn't the point at the time of donation, it's whether you are a risk.

  • Comment on CrazyCatLady's answer…
    Memstad2011_copy_small

    Little Britain is a sophomoric but amusing comedy show from the UK. Maggie and Judy are characters who are offered homemade treats, usually by a little kid, but when they find out that the treat was made by someone gay or of a different race, they projectile vomit the treat back upon the person who offered it.

  • Comment on Fnarf's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    I think I would pay money to see you demonstrate that. ;-)

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Avatar_default

    I guess my problem is that I'm not sure there is a 100% "beyond doubt" in blood donation, at least for any person who's ever been sexually active (queer/not, dudes/chicks). HIV can take years and years to incubate, etc., etc. What I DO 100% believe is that I'm way, way less of a risk than many people who ARE allowed to donate. Is that a reasonable metric?

  • Comment on Kip Waddle's answer…
    Avatar_default

    Oops! Sounds like my question wasn't clear... I am curious about what other gay men do about donating, and I am not so interested in your opinion about what I do.

  • Comment on Rev.Enant's answer…
    Frogs_small

    Rev. Smith you are the best. Thank you so much for your helpful suggestions about viewing. I knew Questionland was the place to ask.

    Oh my, I really need to see this Prom Dress Rugby! That sounds like my kinda Friday night.

    I hope your weekend rocks as much as you do!

  • Comment on Geni's answer…
    Sacri_ordines_by_charism_small

    thumbsup - but half of it goes to CSN for honesty in sentence#2

  • Comment on Fnarf's answer…
    Sacri_ordines_by_charism_small

    thumbs up for parade convenience reality check.
    IMO, the parade is many ways less fun when not on Broadway - the little 'community' ownership touches, -like the parties on rooftops of Casa Del Ray and The Capitol Apts- always "made" it a bit more than a parade for me, and the downtown route doesn't get as much of that, or strike that chord with me.
    I might very well skip the parade this year. (When the subway is built and I can zoomzoom down and then up again, I might change my mind though...)

  • Comment on Geni's answer…
    Cat-duck-2_small

    I agree with CSN. Get to the damn point already.

  • Comment on Geni's answer…
    Skull_pumpkin_small

    Or, hell, just ask if you can sleep with them. That's what you really want to know anyway. :)

  • Comment on Seattledug's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    Get a room, you two.

  • Comment on Ivanhoe Beanstalk's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    Yes, it's a valid point. There is no human reared with just "nature" - "nurture" will obviously always have an influence too.

  • Comment on Geni's answer…
    Lookalikes_small

    I know, I was being a bit snarky. But I was definitely happier in a lesbian household. ;-)

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Frogs_small

    I really should write these things down. ;)

    sorry. thanks again

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Skull_pumpkin_small

    Well, on Saturday Capitol Hill will likely be hopping, but the parade is on Sunday. :)

  • Comment on CleverScreenName's answer…
    Frogs_small

    Thank you for the welcome and info!

    I would have been in Capitol Hill on Saturday singing: "allllll by my seeeeelf"

  • Comment on Robert L Darden's answer…
    N721836511_5397_small

    Exactly.

  • Comment on NGC1275's answer…
    Sacri_ordines_by_charism_small

    Dan's gotten better about this over the years (see below) Lee, but I respectfully disagree - at times, Dan's been very specifically coming across as hating fat folk, as Kristin 'the-not-yet-icon' Bell states.
    select Quotes from Savage Love, FWIW:
    e.g. "get a whore, Dumbo" title to a story about an overweight virgin guy.
    or this slightly vitriolic quote:
    "At the risk of inducing anorexia in millions of young men, I have to say that I agree with you 100 percent, Heather. Beer-gutted, love-handled, hairy-backed men shouldn't go shirtless in summer. Or any other season. "
    or the entire article titled "dump the frump" including "Dump her--and don't feel the least bit guilty about it."
    and this gem of a quote:
    "So what's up with your fat and frumpy girlfriend? I'll get a hundred e-mails from amateur psychologists diagnosing your girlfriend as suffering from some sort of clinical depression the day this column comes out. They'll scold me for telling you to dump your fat and frumpy girlfriend and insist that you're obligated to stand by your fat and frumpy girlfriend and love her regardless of her size and see the beauty within and blah, blah, fuckin' blah. Fuck that."

    and for comparison, look how in 2007 Dan's tune changes, sorta, in the column "big love":
    http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=454823

    and contrast for sure to this year, this month even, when he wrote:
    "stop telling yourself that fat = unfuckable. Huge numbers of Americans are overweight or obese and most of them are getting laid."