I invite them in, offer them refreshments, and systematically pick apart everything that is batshit crazay about their religion. Hell, I'm as eager to convert them as they are to convert me!

The best fighter, regardless of training, is the one with the best chance. But, frankly, this question is ridiculous. First, few assaults happen in dark alleys. Second, trashing another martial art reflects more (and poorly) on the trasher than on the art. Finally, while mace is a very useful tool, it is just that -- a tool that while useful, should be accompanied by back-up self-defense skills.

"Not interested" if I don't have the time. If I do I will discuss my qualms with their religion, appealing to fairness if they want to talk over me. A discussion can be something other than an argument if you have patience.

The last time I dealt with a missionary, it was the very first day after I graduated from high school. I was still in my pajamas at 9 a.m. when a Jehovah's Witness came to the door. He was nice enough to be concerned that I was home sick. I guess, in his mind, that's the only reason to be in your pajamas in the mid-morning.

One solution is to live in an apartment. I only get stalked by missionaries on city streets or the UW's red square.

I guess you could lie and claim to be whatever denomination they are. I mean, what can they say to that?

"If each of us get cornered in a dark alley by someone intent on violence, who's REALLY got the best odds of getting away safe and sound?"

The one who runs the fuck away and doesn't pretend that they're the star of an action movie.

signs work for some -
"No Soliciting: neither cash nor souls are collectable here"

Every now and then I take one for the team, and waste their time on purpose.

Apostasy didn't work? - If they are JW, you should greet them at the door with "Jehovah Witnesses?? Thank goodness, it's over! The Shunning is over!! The disfellowship has ended! "
I heard this used. And that it works nicely.

Josey Wales: "Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is."

So, whoever can get mad dog mean and not lose their head is the one that makes it.

As a discipline I'd say Aikido is superior to TKD. But you need much more dedication and commitment to Aikido to make it really work. And, of course, one needs no dedication to make pepper spray work other than a dedication to making sure you don't spray yourself.

So, if you are inclined to put in the time, I'd say Aikido. If you just want to feel like you can kick some ass I'd say TKD. If you just need a bit of a self defense crutch to get through the day than mace is for you.

The person intent on violence.

If I answer the door (usually I shake my head through the adjacent glass panel to indicate that I am not interested, and I do not open the door to talk), and I decide that I am not interested in what they are offering, I say "no thank you, have a nice day," and close the door.

I don't feel I have to wait until we mutually agree that this conversation is over. My time is valuable to me, and I can choose to not engage with those seeking to occupy it.

Did you mean to post this in Other-Food & Drink?

I like to mess with them, but if I'm not in the mood "No thanks, bye," and shut the door.

I tell them that I am an unrepentant homosexual. Any polite form of "I am not interested" should do. Then, wish them well and close the door.

Shake your head, close your door. Don't be rude, don't try to engage them.

l would certainly defer to the experts here. After that, a story:

A friend of mine in Atlanta got attacked at an ATM. Knowing the dangers (at that point in safety around ATMs), she always had a hand in her pocket/purse holding her pepper spray. He approached her, asked for her money, shoved her around for a second, and she sprayed him and distracted him long enough to kick him in the face. When he regained his sight long enough to lunge after her again, she used it as a weapon and shoved it into his eye before dropping it and kicking him in the balls and various other places until help came.

l agree that you MUST have it ON HAND if you're going to use it (or think you have to). You won't have the reflexes no matter how fast you think you are if you're scared and disoriented, and l very much like the idea of having two on hand; this makes total sense to me for the reasons already mentioned by others. l will say my friend sustained a small gash in her hand due to using it as a forceful weapon - but l'm not against the idea of injury vs. powerlessness or potential death, so do what you will with that piece of info.

As far as l'm concerned (and again, l defer to the experts here), if it functions as a weapon other than what its original intent already is, make use of it, even if you don't get to spray them in the first place. Much like a simple ring can make for a good weapon, so can a little bottle of Mace.

Great responses here already. To second Joanne, do the art you enjoy doing. If missing a class bums you out, that is the class for you. Even if someone told you that their art is the ultimate fighting art that every woman should practice, if you hated doing it or you were bored or it didn't work for your particular body, how ultimate could it really be?

My bio: I've trained at Seattle Kajukenbo since 2005. FYI, Seven Star Women's Kung Fu is our sister school (and conveniently located a few blocks away). From my training, the biggest difference I've noticed about myself in the self-defense arena is not the number or types of techniques I've learned - it's the way I carry myself. I'm much less likely to take anyone's shit now, whether that be in a business setting or dancing at a club in the wee hours of the morning. That increased confidence doesn't mean that I think I can kick the ass of everyone. Instead, learning all these different techniques and getting through the mental blocks and uncomfortable situations that come up in training, I started to make it my own. In your training, you won't execute the moves quite like anyone else in your school. You'll develop your own style. And ideally, you'll start to trust yourself and what you are capable of. For me, my thoughts during sparring went from "I'm going to DIE!" to "hmm, what can I do here?" to "I'm using A, B, C and D strategies with this person". In the rest of my life, my thought process changed from "what do I do?" to "I'm doing this, that, and the other thing, right now." Self-defense is like this. Being forthright and confident while you follow through with your decisions will help you more than anything.

Another thing: you are stronger than you think you are. I help teach self-defense classes through the Fight the Fear Campaign (www.fightthefearcampaign.org), and people with no martial arts training bring so much to the table. Don't underestimate yourself.

Now that I've birdwalked all over the place, I'd tell you to try martial arts classes until one feels right for you, from the material to the instructor/your fellow students to the vibe in the room. You might try two classes or two dozen. It's about fit. There are questions to answer for yourself about formality, belts/no belts, level of contact, etc. It all boils down to whether or not you like going to class. I'd also second Joanne's PAWMA recommendation. It's a great chance to train with skilled teachers and try several arts in a day. This year's schedule looks especially good. If you go, come say hi. I'll be the loud redhead with a brown belt and the Seattle Kajukenbo shirt. Anyway, the best of luck to you in finding your art of choice.

Karate and Kung Fu are both good choices, especially if you're looking for a martial art that will teach you practical self defense.

Aikido has a lot of joint locks, which don't take as much strength. Taekwondo may also work for you. I took it briefly and remember a lot of kicks and punches, but the wikipedia says there are also sweeps, throws and joint locks in certain styles.

If practicality isn't an issue, strength is way less important than speed in kendo. I wouldn't recommend kendo for self defense unless you happen to carry a sword around at all times.

What you probably want to avoid is something like Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which focuses on grappling. No matter which martial art you choose, you will almost certainly get stronger after practicing for a while.

On my way to Burien to visit a friend one day, a guy started talking to me at the bus stop. He wouldn't leave me alone until l moved several steps away and began playing with my phone. lt just so happened that he climbed on the same bus as l did, and l sat down down in the first row facing the front of the bus (behind the handicapped seats facing each other). l put my backpack in the seat next to me so he wouldn't try to sit next to me, and continued playing with my phone. He sat in the handicapped seats ahead of me, and all was well for a while.

Until he began talking to anyone in particular about how everybody was so antisocial and on their phones, and nobody wanted to make friends. lt was mainly directed at me, so for a brief bit, l did the polite 'uh huh' and 'mmhmm' thing while carrying on with what l was doing. l quickly tired of his solo soapbox lecture, and clearly told him that it was nice talking to him, but l was making plans with friends and was not interested in discussion. He stopped for a moment and began talking again, so without a word, l got up and walked to the back of the bus. About two seconds later, he walks back and sits two seats behind me. l immediately got up, and walked back to my original seat. All was fine until he began making his way to the front, talking to everyone along the way, pissing off one after another. Finally, the bus driver stopped the bus and called the cops. When he refused to get off, EVERYBODY loudly protested. When l prepared to get off the bus at the transit center, l asked the bus driver to make sure he didn't follow me off, as he'd been harassing me further on the way there. He told me the cops were meeting us there, and sure enough, they pulled him off as soon as we got there. l thanked the driver for the help, had my friend meet and walk me from the station, and left the dude with the cops after making a statement.

The point here is that when there are enough people watching the entire interaction go down, moving seats is usually enough to end it, and if they follow you, people will notice. So will the driver, especially when they have to notice such things in order to prevent them from escalating. l once had a man report a guy harassing me without my even asking; he just did the gentlemanly thing on my behalf. People in this town may be passive aggressive and generally avoid conflict, but they will usually step in and help if they observe it over a prolonged period of time. And since the person is likely to continue the harassment with others if you leave, the more that get in on it, the better. But that's also what the bus driver is for. Report it to them, and do so loudly enough for others to hear and notice who/what you're talking about. The last thing you want is a confrontation in a confined space with a number of other bystanders - l've seen enough disasters on Metro go down like this. Let the driver handle it, and make sure you have someone meet you at the bus stop or the driver detains them from following you.

And the bitch face and headphones definitely help.

wear a shirt with your avatar on the front and i'll avoid you

HATE SPIDERS

For me, ignoring the catcalls makes it worse- they know I can hear them, they know I'm ignoring them, and they don't like it. Cat-callers and street harassers are usually doing it for the reaction they get from women: they want to make you feel embarrassed, uncomfortable, and ashamed. Or sometimes they're just trying to make you smile or laugh.

Laugh at them. Snicker and say, "No fucking way". If they persist, say "this has been fun, but I really don't want to talk to you". Embarrass them. Cultivate a few good "leave me alone" lines.

Remember that you're in public, you're on the bus, there are other people there, and you're probably going to be safe. Keep a decent distance between you and them, and if they try to touch you, a nice loud "don't touch me" will usually do the trick.

I used to teach self-defense a long time ago. I came away from the whole experience with the realization that it's not so much what style of kickin' or punchin' you learn, but the reaction skills.

A lot of people, and especially women, have a hard time being loud and appearing strong. So practicing yelling is important. I was taught that the faster you can react when attacked and give the clear message that you won't go down without a fight, the better off you are.

Then there's the self-defense of daily living. Learning to recognize when someone in your life is getting genuinely creepy and how to cut off contact with such people is something that many of us have to learn. We all know that most rapes are attempted by someone the woman knows already. That changes how to view self-defense. Learning strategies to deal with daily situations (like the woman who asked about getting cat-called on the bus) is arguably as potent a skill as learning how to break a knee-cap.

Find the biggest, bulkiest, bad looking Seattle policeman and have your picture taken with him arm in arm or such with big smiles all around. (Tell him why and I am sure he will be happy to oblige.)

Place the photo in the back of your holder for your bus pass or in a plastic holder hanging from you purse or bag. When someone approaches you give them the 'no thanks', or bitch face and if need be flash the card at them and say "go any further and you'll be talking to my big brother". You can always throw in a "...by the way my Dad is a Seattle cop also."

As an native New Yorker, I cultivated a look that while neither hostile nor aggressive, certainly was not friendly or inviting. Kind of like a "get over yourself" or "what, you're still in my space?" attitude. Another friend uses her "annoyed teacher" look to great effect. Safety and self-defense, after all, is 95% attitude.

A major idea behind most martial arts is that technique can overcome sheer strength. There is no one "best" kind of martial art for women. What is far more important is that you find a teacher and school that fits with who you are and is willing to work with you. Whatever art you choose, pick a school where you and your training are treated seriously and with respect, regardless of your initial aptitude.

If you are looking for a women's martial arts school, you are in luck in Seattle. There are 2, and both are really good. I teach at the Feminist Karate Union (http://www.FeministKarateUnion.org). We work with women of all ages and abilities. The other school is Seven Star Women's Kung Fu.

There is a women's martial arts camp coming up in about a month in Seattle. You may want to check it out, you can try a variety of arts. Visit http://www.PAWMA.org for more info.

http://www.hollabackpnw.blogspot.com/

Big honking headphones, as in studio headphones.

I've heard this from more than one attractive female friend of mine.

Something like this: 

They're actually terrible for listening to anything on the bus, as studio headphones tend to be semi-open, and therefore the noise isolation is awful, but they are extremely comfortable when worn for a long time. The important thing is that they look serious, professional, and like you'd not hear the world end around you.

They don't even have to work, but make sure you find ones that are light and comfortable. You could probably post on CL and find broken studio headphones for free.

You could even rig up something where the earcup is hollowed out and you're wearing earbuds under them; run the wire where the wire of the headphones was.

Something that big and noticeable will be a far greater deterent than earbuds, which the crazies on the bus pretty much seem to not notice or ignore.

Just. Walk. Away.

I finely honed my "don't fuck with me" face when I lived in New York. Assuming you're not aggressive enough or courageous enough in the face of probable harm to tell assholes to go fuck themselves, doing whatever you can to preemptively stave off unwanted comments is your best bet.

Work on your bitch face. Don't make eye contact with or smile at men you don't know. Especially don't make eye contact with drunks or anyone acting erratically. It pains me to say it, but I think it's also a good idea to ignore any man who tries to speak to you in public. Maybe he just wants directions, maybe he just wants to ask you for spare change, or maybe he's going to ask to lick your pussy. It's not worth it to stop and find out. Don't be afraid to be a bitch.

Listening to an MP3 player is also a convenient way to pretend you can't hear them. If they continue to try to talk to you or motion to you to remove your earbuds, continue to ignore them.