These are all great answers. I've got a few other ideas.

It's wise that you realize as a teen mother that you don't have time for "sleeping around" nor pursuing a relationship right now. (But don't slam the door on love. Sometimes we find it when not looking for it!)

Anyway, the advice above is all very good and spot on. You might find that you can start with a cheap disposable tooth brush instead of a professional vibrator as a sort of cheap, and utimately re-purposeable experiment. You use the BACK side of the vibrating brush... NOT the bristles. And, of course, reserve it only for this purpose.

Get yourself a good self-help book. You might consider "Sex for One" by Bette Dodson or "The Guide to Getting it On" by Paul Joannides, goofy foot press. But there are others. "Sex is Fun" by Kider Kaper is comic book style instruction for all genders and pairings.

Only you can decide what feels best, and when and where is best for you. So, give yourself some time to experiment alone and Learn and Practice until you don't "Suck at playing with yourself".

Finally, yes, while toys can be nice, they can't beat the human contact element...arms around you, the body in bed, the affection, the touching, that can come with a significant other or "a MAN" as you put it. Just don't rush it, OK? He'll be there for you when you're ready to start looking again, OK?

OK, firstly. Go get yourself on some sort of birth control (I recommend an IUD, because they last for years and you can't forget to take them) so if a man presents himself you don't wind up with another kid.

Secondly, no sex toy, no matter how awesome it is, will give you an orgasm if you won't "play with yourself." You have to be familiar with how your genitals work and what feels good for you before you can convey that knowledge to any future partners. For many women, learning how to masturbate takes a long time, mostly because we are socialized to believe that good girls don't like sex, our vulvas are gross, and masturbation is sinful/dirty. None of this is true, but it can take a lot longer for women to figure out how to masturbate than men. I once asked a bunch of people in a coed dorm at what age they started masturbating. For the women, if they did it at all, they started at 17-20. Men started at 12 or younger. Go figure. So, practice, practice, practice with fingers and lube first.

Thirdly, don't make the mistake of assuming vaginal penetration=instant orgasm. It doesn't. Don't go buy a dildo and expect that lying back and inserting it is going to do anything. Most women need some sort of clitoral stimulation for an orgasm. See point above, and practice alone, then if you want to, add in a vibrator--start with a bullet style, not a rabbit pearl, and don't use it on high all the time or you'll numb yourself to the sensations a partner can provide (no one's tongue or fingers moves at 6000rpm.)

Finally, masturbation will provide an outlet for sexual release but it won't outright replace partnered sex for most people. That said, masturbating can help you improve partnered sex. And it's fun.

Are you local? If so get your ass to toys in babeland. If not check them out on the web. They've got stuff for all price ranges. If you can go to the store you can physically handle samples which can be helpful. If you're not super shy ask questions. They're very positive. If you've never had a vibrator start cheap, see how you like it and upgrade to something pricier if after playing around you start to understand thethings that do(or almost) work. Then you have a base line for what to look for in a pricier toy- if possible get a variable speed toy to start so you have a variety of sensation to fine tune.

Work on pleasing yourself without him there before you concern yourself with trying to perform for him. Less pressure, and you get to know yourself better to know where he needs to touch and where you need to adjust yourself.

A lot of people do this.

They select a friend that they are comfortable with, and agree to engage in sex, solely to become experienced and familar with their own sexuality and preferences.

My own wife did this, and though they didn't have any formal relationship, shortly after we started dating, he showed up one evening and it was obvious they had some unfinished business. She chose me, however, since he had never committed to anything but ocassional sex.

So, it can work out, though not everyone will encourage premarital sex.

PS: Use protection EVERY time. Whether this means condoms or birth control for you, it's a requirement. Got it?

Of course it is ok.

Whether it is right for YOU is another matter.

As the other answerers have said, make sure you feel comfortable, use protection, etc. However, I have something to add and may get some flak for it: as sublevelthree said, it's really important to figure out what your own values and desires around sex are. I would argue that there is just as much "cultural baggage" pressuring us to be ok with casual sex and to separate emotional intimacy from sexuality. Witness the profusion of media pushing this message. While I'm totally into sexual liberation, being able to do whatever/whomever you want, keeping legislation and ignorant moralizing out of our bedrooms, etc... I have come to believe that sex has been devalued in our culture.

I started having sex at a really young age, and only in my twenties after having had many partners did I really learn how to connect sex and love. I'm no longer especially interested in the kind of casual hookups I used to have and now only want what I've come to see as "the real thing". Of course I came to this after lots of experimentation, and I don't regret my choices per se, because they've made me who I am.

Sometimes, though, I wonder what it would have been like had I waited until I was more mature and better able to understand the implications of sex. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited longer and taken it much more seriously. Of course casual sex and the development of a deep sexual bond within an emotionally intimate relationship are not mutually exclusive; but for me, I think, having lots of casual sex dulled my ability to experience sex on an emotional/moral level.

Since you asked this question, you might have some doubts. I am here to tell you that it's absolutely ok to lose your virginity to a friend with benefits - it's also absolutely ok to want to lose your virginity to someone you're head-over-heels in love with. Choosing to wait doesn't make you a prude - it means you're self-aware, confident and have admirable self control.

Either way - CONDOMS!

Read Savage Love, for starters.

I'm paraphrasing Dan Savage here:

1. Take the pressure off. Pressure is the enemy of orgasms. Focus on bringing each other pleasure with no expectations or preconceived notions of what is "supposed" to happen.

2. Masturbate. Find out what does it for you.

3. Use vibrators and other toys.

4. Make sure your clitoris is stimulated during intercourse - all women need some clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.

5. Take the pressure off.

Speaking from very recent (and not so recent) first-hand experience I can honestly say there are few things that squash a man's sex drive like having a baby. I ain't you, it's him. And the baby. He’ll be back up to snuff in another few weeks. Our baby is 3 weeks old and right now I can't even find my penis. He's like a scared turtle. Just over 9 months ago he was cutting diamonds and swinging around all over the place.

There's some pretty solid evidence that men's testosterone levels drop pretty dramatically following a new baby. Good on ya, evolution! Lets the ladies recoup a bit after being savaged by partum. Since, one can infer, all men are biologically inclined to be rapists. Apparently. Or whiney douchebags at the very least that won't shut the fuck up until they at least get some head.

So chill the fuck out. Enjoy being able to drink booze again. And then, in a few weeks, get the old man loaded and do all those crazy sex things you kids do these days.

OK, now that's a different question.

On the one hand, the fact that he's being careful and cautious and considerate of you and your health isn't bad.

But I'm hearing you say that you're feeling worthless and unattractive to him... and that may be the root of your problem.

Again, he's faced with new responsibilities and new roles, just as you are. And now, Sex may not equal playtime or pleasure.... Sex may be redefined for him as equaling Pressure/Responsibilities/Pregnancy.

Only he can explain to you what he's feeling. You should tell him how this makes you feel. And you should be willing to speak with your nurse, doctor or counselor if this continues.

Well, has he acted similarly "weird" in the past?

Talk to him, and get yourself sterilized, either permanently or temporarily, so that you don't have another kid with this guy. The first 6 weeks post partum are a great time to get pregnant again, and if he's shirking kid duties now, he's not going to get better.

As for talking to him, does he know how to take care of a baby? If not, get him to parenting classes rather than taking over everything for him because "he's doing it wrong." If he does, tell him that there are no vacations with 4 week olds and that everyone is tired and cranky. Get his parents on his case too. Enlist as much help as you can muster.

Failing that, do nothing for him, by which I mean, don't do his laundry, cook or clean for him, and so on. Let him take care of himself, since you've got to take care of you and your little one. He'll either step up or live in filth, but then it's his choice.

Anyone meeting the needs and taking on the responsibilities of caring for a new baby is tired (and may have a headache also). I'll bet you are tired doing this mostly yourself. Being tired and having a headache doesn't mean you get a pass from the tasks at hand, it just means you do what is needed with those conditions happening at the time (and keep your cool as you do it).

It is time for him to step up and do his share in helping with the care of his child. You need to have a good talk with him about what you are facing and how you need his participation. The two of you working on this together lightens the load and can even mean a bit of respite for one of you at a time as you take turns.

You must make sure he is fully versed in how to handle the baby and all of the appropriate knowledge and warnings (such as protection of the head and NO SHAKING). Did you participate together in prenatal care activities and did he attend/help with the birth? I am sure there are some good classes available for new fathers to learn about appropriate handling and infant care.

This is not a short term process, he's in this for life as a father and caregiver. He needs to recognize his responsibility to be the best one he can be.

First, the best person to answer this question is....HIM. HE's the only one who knows why he's responding this way. Your relationship with him is the basis for all communication. It works the other way around also.

Second, while it is often true that a new mother can feel overwhelmed by a newborn and has issues of energy, emotion and adjustments... it's also true that men have some adjustments to go through as well. (True, it wasn't their body that gave birth, nor are they nursing...but...)

Obvioiusly, we don't know if he's living with you, getting up to do feedings, or what the situation involves. But he may be put off by the prospect that his pleasure with you has resulted in a baby and obligations that he wasn't quite ready to embrace.

But this is pure speculation. Only HE can tell you if any of this is valid. You need to be talking with him. Tell him of your emotional need for support and reassurance, especially as you have now made changes and adjustments.

If necessary, you may want to speak with a counselor or nurse or your doctor...if he won't open up with you.

I feel the same exact way, and a way I've seems to get over that factor is A) try to keep a lot of saliva in your mouth, or B) try giving him a short handjob and watch the pre-cum come out before you begin.

Nope, as long as you're both fine with it and take the same safe precautions as sleeping with anyone else.

Unless you're in the late stages of pregnancy, the worst that would happen is a bruised cervix--I've had it happen, and it's nothing major for me. And, whether or not such stimulation is pleasurable varies woman to woman (I personally enjoy it, I know plenty of women who hate it). You can always tell him to stop, slow down, add lube, change positions, whatever, both inside and outside the bedroom.

Of course, you could get an IUD placed. The strings have a tendency to poke pushy penises if the cervix is prodded too hard, which I am told is highly unpleasant. They're also excellent birth control, lasting up to 10 years. Just a thought.

I'm assuming you're already messing around and maybe have done some of the questionly virginal stuff for my answer. I think it would be a bit different if you guys aren't already having some kind of intimacy

it matters how you view that status. If you're the kind of person who feels they need to be in love ( or in a commitment) yes.

But if you don't go with the cultural baggage and you're comfortable with the guy ( and he knows) it may be a more rewarding experience because you won't get all worried with the "what does this mean" and getting emotions and expectations wrapped into the experience. You can just have fun and he can teach you a thing or two so when your debut with an serious fella comes along you can skip the nervousness and skip right to the good part.

But make sure you at least know each other (the friends part is important) and have a clear idea of what the ground rules are. You wanna make sure you're both on the same page so neither of you get hurt emotionally.

And use protection and visit planned parenthood or gyno for tests and if anything abnormal crops up. That's not just for now but for always. Once you become active make sure to take charge of yourself and be vigilant. You're young and want to avoid any accidents or critters to harm or derail your or future partners long lives. if you're old enough to play you're old enough to follow common sense and educate yourself if you haven't already done your share of real researching (ie pulling out is not a form of birth control). You are so lucky to have the Internet at your disposal this point in your life (there's enough pressures as it is you don't have to heap embarrassment of buying things face to face like those of us who didn't have the web) use it well and often (but remember that anyone in the world can post so be thorough and when in doubt see a doc)

Tell him it hurts you. He should stop. I hope you are telling him this. He needs to know. You'd stop if you were hurting him, no? Do not be timid about this. Make him adjust or stop when it happens, every time. Sex is not supposed to hurt unless you want it to.
Stuff I've learned from my doctor, you should talk to yours:
If it hurts and you don't normally have a sensitive cervix (cervixes can be touchy, mine has become so over time), it's not good for you, but not terrifyingly bad. You just don't want scar tissue/tissue adhesions in your abdomen (this is unlikely but possible), they can cause pain themselves and only surgery corrects that. Don't be scared - this pain happens every now and then to everyone if they're with a big enough guy, or if they misjudge how warmed up they are for sex, but if it's a regular thing (and it never should be since you should tell him and he should stop every time it hurts), that's probably not good. And actually, bleeding is probably ok (this can happen to some without pain) as long as it's not a lot and you should get checked out if any at all is happening as well in case of STDs (especially HPV) or pelvic inflammatory disease (very bad news). It's also possible he's hitting your bladder, which if full or close to can hurt (you might piss blood/pus, not nice to look at but also not inherently bad - just make sure it doesn't happen a lot, same reasons as for cervix). Ask a doctor/Planned Parenthood (you can call them if you want to be anonymous, or the San Francisco Sex Info Hotline (email them or call:415-989-SFSI (7374)(US/Pacific time)3-9 PM Monday through Thursday,3-6 PM Friday). If you want him to fuck you hard you need to only do that in positions that are shallower, like Captain says, or you can try one of those giganto cock rings that are the size of your hand, worth a shot. Also make sure he takes a lot of time on foreplay. He should be used to this kind of thing if he's that hung, as this has likely happened with other ladies before, and if he hasn't had this happen then he especially needs to know. He'll probably be proud. Worried, concerned, super careful not to hurt you, sure, but also proud. It might also just be that he's too big to fuck anyone hard, too bad for him. It's also possible you are more sensitive cyclically - track your cycle to see when you might hurt more, if there is a pattern he can fuck you hard sometimes and sometimes not. And finally, get STD tested just in case. It's not likely the problem, but if he is a new partner, and something unusual is going on with your junk, just to be safe might be worth checking things out.

The short answer is no, with qualifications.

If you are experiencing pain from his coming in contact with the cervix, (or for any reason) it's NOT OK. If it's painful, it's painful, and to be avoided.

Second, damage is a relative term. The fact that you're in pain is not good. However, the occassional bump or prod can thrill SOME women. (I was once with a woman and could feel "something" I was hitting...she claimed it was her cervix or uterus, but claimed it was fine. She was ok with continuing, though I had always read that this was painful. We finished, and she was fine with it.)

Third, if you're having bleeding or discharge, it's not OK.

Suggestion?
Try positions where he doesn't penetrate as far, or where you control the depth and speed. Example: Cowgirl on top.

Another idea: Get him to wear a THICK cockring. This will act as a "stopper" and keep him from penetrating too far (as well as provide both him and you some variety of sensations!)
Some women use their hands in the same fashion, but some cannot reach or maintain this, depending on the position.

Third, talk with him about what you're feeling, and why you want to change up... not in an accusing fashion, but from a point of "Honey, I love it when you really get into it, but sometimes it's too much. Can we find a position where you can go to town, and I can enjoy it more? I want the best for us."

Last, you ARE using some form of protection, aren't you? Condoms...birth control... inserts... they're all important. Especially if you're in a location where you are considered "under age."

Last minute edit: I'm sharing this from my readings over 40+ years. Perhaps the question is better answered by a woman or a gyno-doctor. Anyone?

These comments are lame. I just happen to be a hickey removing expert.
So, here's what you do:

1. Take a hair pick and run it over the hickey back and forth.
2. Then, put a big spoon in a cup of ice until it's sooo cold. Take the spoon and massage the hickey area.
3. Lastly, I use neosporin over the hickey area in case I was too rough on myself with the hair pick.

Here's a goofy youtube video that helps explain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_l8LXK-e_w

How old are you? I think if you're under a certain age you need a prescription. I would call planned parent hood. They're gonna know best what the current laws are and where to find it plus there are several in the city. They're probably also going to be the most understanding that you need it now ( you have a 2 day window and it's more effective sooner it's taken). When I needed it about 7 years ago they also wrote me a perscrition for another pack so I could keep it on hand just in case. It's two pills. You take the first one imediately and the next one like 10 hours later. It's a mega dose of hormones so I'd avoid any situations where a case of pms from hell could become a problem. I ended up in a huge fight with my boy at the time, while there was alot of stress and other stuff going on I know a ton of it was all the hormones, so if you can just curl up at home and hibernate for a day I'd suggest it. It's not painful, just made me cranky and snippy, but again the situation of needing it doesn't lend to rational thought

It wasn't too expensive, but this was a while ago. I didn't have insurance so I paid full price, I'd say about 20 bucks

A word of warning ( and why I sent you to PP) some pharmacies will not Cary it, I had to go to a few. And some pharmacists will give you the stink eye (creul, you're already in a bad spot) the one I got it from totally lectured me and I wanted to yell at him that I was 28, always used protection and the only reason I was there was the condom broke) things may have relaxed a bit since then, I seem to remember it was something now that over like 18 or 21 you could get but it was from the pharmacy directly, but it makes more sense to just call the nice ladies at planned parenthood and see what the skinny is since it's always been a controversial subject they're gonna know where people will treat you like a human being when you ask for it

Just wipe it away?

If you do a good job of it you will have a mouth full of your own slime. A blowjob that doesn't create a wet mess is hardly worth having. You need to learn to love that slimy feeling.

I know nothing about giving a dude head (that's my story and I'm sticking with it) and I don't know nearly enough about getting head as I would like (being married and all- don't start with me) but iirc the best hummers didn't include 100% mouth on cock action. Or even 50/50. There was a lot of fist pumping, spitting, some teasing and assorted other naughty things that made them great.

Is your BF a real dribbler? Like he just oozes tons of precum as you're going off on him? If so then you may just need to bite the bullet and get used to it. I've gotten used to plenty of stuff that eventually seemed not so bad and then downright hot.

If he just dribbles at some point but not all the way through then just work it with your fist until you pump the precum out. I imagine it would ebb and flow so ebb=suck and flow=pump.

good luck.

"Which bars attract a seedy bunch of people?"

Ones that serve booze...

Use a flavored condom

i understand as a man it's even harder lol, guess i should say softer, sometime i cant stay hard during sex with condom and i never like the feeling however sometime i use them and my girl is the same, well guess i should say ex but we still speak so oh well, anyway we try tell pull out and that always work however there is a big problem with this system for a man (timing) if u get it wrong u may have a little one, and sometime u might want to come inside her i mean the feeling is great, but u need to remember little on, but in that moment that the last thing come to mind, just oh she is so nice or hot or some shit, guess if ur gay is oh he is so nice lol, man that weird anyway my advice is to have sex with then when ur finishing put it in ur mouth, nooo teeth plz,,, almost forget are u can do anal but i would say make sure u do a MOT first that a sexual health check up buy the way not for the cars

Since your class is ending so soon and then you're leaving the country, you don't have to be concerned about the situation becoming uncomfortable if he's not interested. I'd just ask him if he wants to go do something with you (preferably dinner, a show, or drinks in the evening), and double check that you're comfortable with each other before making any big physical overtures. As far as how to do that, if you've never interchanged words with him it will be slightly harder, but I'd go with something like this: "So, I'm leaving for wherever in a few weeks, but I'd love to hang out with you outside of class. Do you want to come to x with me?" If the date goes well, you'll have established that you're leaving soon and you can send big signals during it- if he's as interested as you are and he's comfortable with getting physical right away, chances are it will happen. If not, at least you'll know that you took the chance, and you might actually stay in touch with him as a friend.

Being comfortable with expressing your interest will seriously improve your dating prospects, by the way. If you feel good about going after the people you're interested in, you'll have a much higher chance of actually getting to be with those people than if you just wait for them to come to you. Besides, I think guys tend to really appreciate feeling like they're actually desired/pursued rather than feeling like their overtures are just being accepted. And if you're ever interested in a friend, this ability to be open about your interest will help the situation enormously.

Not much experience in picking up people here, but if it were I, a friendly face from class asking if I'd like to go get a drink or a bite to eat at a nice resturant or nearby coffeehouse for conversation would be a great start.

I'd be tempted to say "yes" to conversation with a friendly face. But jumping in the sack without any relationship would convince me I was being set up, and would scare me away.

Go slow. Friendship and warmth wins out.