I'm guessing the reptilian shapeshifter thing would be a reference to the main alien cats in the show 'V', which was an older show that was recently redone to fit a more modern format. If that's the case -or even if he's referring to something else- and he wasn't laughing when he said it, this may be a bigger problem.

I've had some experience with this kind of fanaticism, and unfortunately, every time l did, it was linked to mental illness. First was my uncle, a paranoid schizophrenic who felt his only solution to preventing a government takeover of his soul was to join a remote ashram in India, where he became increasingly nuts and at one point in his young son's life, fed the child mushrooms, if l recall correctly.

Then there was the boyfriend who began normal, and four months into the relationship began reading some alien blog, completely lost his fucking marbles in a matter of a week, decided the alien mothership was going to annihilate all but a lucky few of the humans, that he was a chosen one, that the nearest ship was landing in Ashville, NC (we were in Atlanta), and then promptly moved there. Never saw him again (but had a concerned talk with his parents and discovered he was manic depressive) and immediately decided l was forever done with dating the crazy.

Then shortly after the boyfriend, the female friend l had just met who informed me she was in my life mainly because apparently, l was her next mission of mercy, for whom she would provide "complete and total mental and physical healing", according to her. I didn't know if that was just the most elaborate come-on l'd ever heard, but when she suddenly informed me one day l was 'disturbed' and began chanting around my head in the middle of a quiet restaurant, l told her l felt fine, so l must have liked it that way, and left.

Now don't get me wrong; l'm a spiritual person who occasionally entertains the thought that we're not the only intelligent life in the universe, or that there aren't some dastardly plans within systems of great power that have ulterior motives. But despite entertaining these ideas, until l have proof, they really are just theories, as is my spirituality. When a person begins to believe in everything *but* that which has been proven -and is willing to fight over, not discuss these things with friends- paranoia is bound to set in; it goes hand in hand with not *really* knowing what IS going on behind the scenes. And with growing paranoia comes an inability to distinguish what's real and what isn't, which leads to whole host of various mental illnesses. Either way, this is a worrisome development if he's never been this way before. I would second the recommendation to agree to disagree on these topics, and if that doesn't work, consider distancing yourself.

Okay, to be clear...are you dating or not? You say you're a "couple" and include it in quotes, but then you say you aren't dating. This needs clarification.

Otherwise, taken on face value, l'm not sure there's much you can do for her. She's seeing a therapist but sees no value in doing so, and therefore it's essentially going to be useless to her.

Everything you're listing here is a big red flag. She isn't sick because her various herbs and tonics aren't working, she's sick because she's in a constant state of anxiety, hopelessness, and general depression. And if a regular concern of hers is 'if anything is real', then you may have a MUCH bigger mental health problem on your hands than you currently realize. l have a whole crew of people on one side of my family who don't believe anything is real (or what they do believe is real isn't even close), and they are/were suicidal, bipolar, paranoid schizophrenic, or a combination of the above. You may very well be right in the 'brilliantly mad' part - some of our most influential and brilliant icons were also just fucking nuts.

The problem there, however, is that you may not be able to help her beyond voicing your concerns and saying that you love her, but can't have a relationship with her unless and until she really starts getting the help she needs - or committing herself to the psychiatric help she's already getting. You aren't her shrink; she has one, which indicates she knows she probably needs it, but she's not dedicating herself to it. This -and everything else you're telling us, combined with my experience and knowledge of certain untreated mental illnesses- tells me she's got some serious issues going on, and the only thing you can do is encourage her to pursue help, and support her throughout. But don't get embroiled in trying to fix her, or thinking you have any control over this; she's got stuff going on that has nothing whatsoever to do with you or anyone else.

Just encourage her to get the help she needs, and realize there's only so much you can do unless you're a licensed PhD.

l would also venture that not being in a relationship is probably more of a blessing than a curse in her case.

A friend of mine likes to say, "With a shotgun." Me, l go the cleaner route.

About two summers ago, there was a virtual army of Jehovah's Witnesses that came through my apartment building anywhere from one to three times a week. This drove me up the fucking wall, because aside from the obvious, they (a) showed up at like 7am every freaking time, and (b) they would ring the doorbell incessantly until you answered it.  l live in a locked apartment building, but the stairwell gets so hot during summer that other tenants would prop the main door open to let air in, and apparently, even though it clearly had a buzzer and a 'no trespassing' sign, God took priority over that, and they would just walk in, and hit every single apartment there.

The first few times, l informed them they were trespassing and l could legally have them removed from the property, hoping they would pass on the message to their freaky brethren and take our place off their route, but that didn't work.  So one early morning when they rang the doorbell, l put on my sluttiest robe, opened it in the front enough to reveal my cleavage, lit a cigarette, filled a wine glass with apple juice, and opened the door.  The two young men both took a small step back and looked a bit stunned before launching into their pitch.  l invited them to continue ("Sure, l wanna hear AAAALLL about the LORD!  l LOVE the LORD!"), and while they were talking, l downed my glass of apple juice in one go.  l instructed them to hold that thought while l refilled my glass - and when l returned, they were gone.

Nobody in that building ever heard from them again.  Fucking surefire solution, and l haven't had a JW at my door since.  ln retrospect, l think blacking out one eye with makeup would have made it a little more fun.

Five months is a good amount of time to date. You know you like each other, or you probably wouldn't still be dating.

But you both have conflicting and busy schedules, and that makes it challenging for a relationship - or at least one in which you haven't set clear boundaries, both for your space together, or for the space you need for yourselves.

This sounds like a generally -generally!- simple issue to me. You don't have enough time for each other and yourselves, you want more for both, and you're dealing with the guilt trips and stress to and from each other as a result. This part is normal. And you *can* work around it, but you both need to be fairly lenient.

What should be a concern is how you communicate that. When you both have things to do for yourselves, as you said, it shouldn't be a point of contention, right? But it is. We humans tend to take our own feelings of inadequacy out on each other, so who knows, maybe he's punishing you for not feeling available enough. While the base reason is important, the ability to talk about it is paramount, so find out what's REALLY bothering him, make sure you address and avoid crappy texts that indicate dismissiveness like "Okkkkkkkkkkkk" - and then STOP trying to have difficult discussions like that in text to begin with. The minute it starts getting ugly in text (and we all read things different ways, though l agree with your interpretation of the text in question, and that you should have been at least talking on the phone to begin with), STOP. Say, "Call me, and let's talk about this in person", or "Let's calm down a bit, and then talk", or some other variation. There are statistics being collected on how many breakups occur through online or text interactions, and it's pathetic. Don't be a fucking statistic, and l mean that in the very kindest way.

Don't apologize if it's truly not on your part, but be very, very vigilant about examining your own part in it, no matter how small it may be; as you said, name-calling doesn't help. These things are important, and may be a fulcrum in how well your relationship moves. Remember you're in this for a reason, and if you don't *both* benefit from that reminder, then you're facing a problem.

And if his priority is having fun on top of all the priorities you both have to deal with (which is understandable, but obviously limited), consider whether your final priorities match up. lf you want a night in because you're always tired and he wants a night at the bar, these things should be considered.

But no, to answer your original question, you aren't losing it. You're dealing with real-life issues, real-life jobs, and real-life situations that occasionally need an outlet. This is true for all of us. Hang in there.

l like this question a lot.

l have incorporated both of my parents' writing into my own. As a result, l have one style that looks just like my mom's, one that looks just like my dad's, and several that are something or nothing like either and are just me. My signature, however, is a combination of my mother's cursive and my dad's impossible-to-forge signature style. lt isn't legible, other than the last name, but that's precisely why l like it. There are certain aspects of it that would make it distinguishable from a forgery, yet it is still an easy one to bust out. l will probably always use it, even though it looks nothing like my current handwriting (which changes every few years or so. A handwriting analysis would probably assume l had multiple personalities, but me, l just like variety. :)

Kombucha is definitely good for you, but l suppose it can have addictive properties based on the theanine in it. lf it bothers you, however, try drinking it every other day, or maybe three times a week so your body doesn't get too cracked out on it and can adjust easier. lt'll still be good for you, it just won't produce as harsh of a comedown.

l used to live in Belgium, so it's refreshing to FINALLY see someone refer to actual Belgian waffles, rather than the Eggos they call Belgian waffles here. l don't care if it's snooty; it's about authenticity, and it pisses me off when people call it Belgian and l get all excited and then it's not Belgian in any way, shape, or form.

As l understand it, the problem with making Belgian waffles is that you need a specific type of iron or you run the risk of burning the sugar with regular American ones. The recipe here is very similar to one l used a number of years back with a roommate's iron, and it worked eventually (l burned a bunch before l got it right), but for some reason wasn't quite the same -though as close as l've come to in the States thus far- and l'm convinced it was the iron itself. l watched a show about some people who started a little Belgian waffle place halfway down a mountain slope where the skiiers and snowboarders could stop and take a break, and these people imported their irons from Belgium, which seems to confirm a near necessity for the right one in order to get the right waffle.

Also, trying to clean an American waffle iron when you've been making Belgian waffles with caramelized sugar is the biggest pain in the ass ever, because the waffle indents are much, much smaller in American ones.

But this recipe should work - it's similar if not pretty much the same one l used back in the day. l remember because it's a long and painstaking process, but worth it in the end. Let me know how it turns out!

Edited to add this bit from the Q&A on that recipe page:

"

Hi,

Do you need a special type of waffle maker to make these?

Thank you,
Leigh

Hi, Leigh. Yes and no. The ideal is to have a very heavy iron that makes a rectangular waffle with a 4×6 pocket pattern. The weight/thickness of the iron helps it achieve a high level of heat retention, which is a big part of how you get the sugar to caramelize on the outside of the waffle. But professional irons like that are ridiculously expensive unless you plan to make these all the time.

So, really, you can use any conventional waffle maker you have provided it has three things . . . 1. Fairly deep pockets as opposed to shallow/Eggo type ones. 2. It has removable plates, because these waffles ooze butter and caramelized sugar, and the iron will need to be cleaned if you want to make regular waffles in it ever again. 3. And it really needs to have an adjustable temperature, which most but not all waffle irons do. Those issues aside, it’s best to also use an iron that makes rectangular shaped waffles, but it’s not required."

Goddammit, l've tried to reply to this three fucking times, and there's a glitch on the computer that will scroll down, won't scroll back up, and force me to open another window. Grr. Okay.

l've been known to say that those whom l think would make the best parents are those who actively choose not to have them. lt's a conscientious decision that protects you and is also made in the interest of any child you would otherwise have, and l respect that very much, and applaud both your decision and the self-awareness that brought it about, regardless of your reasons.

That is not to say that parents who choose to have children aren't great at it, or those who have unplanned/unexpected pregnancies aren't or won't be fine parents either. That's my disclaimer; l just really respect people who choose not to do it when there are so many parents out there who don't deserve to be parents, and fuck up their childrens' lives as a result. And if you do have a child, l think there are plenty of kids already out there who need a home, so kudos on that one too.

That said, l'll answer your questions as best as l can:
(a) No, it should not be a problem. Given your age, you may be required to have a brief psych evaluation just to make sure YOU are sure and generally in your right mind. They do this with any woman considering an abortion as well, and l think it's standard practice. Also, as someone pointed out, vasectomies can be reversible, but not always, and can be difficult. Other than that, your age shouldn't pose a problem.
(b) l don't see why it wouldn't be allowed, provided your psych eval showed that you were in your right mind and weren't pressured into making the decision. You're a grown adult; if it were not allowed for some reason, l would be concerned (or at least double check and make sure the facility l was considering wasn't religiously founded.).
(c) l'm pretty sure it's like any elective surgery - you make an appointment, show proof of income/insurance/ability to pay, schedule, and voila.

So overall, no, l don't think this should be a problem for you at all. You may only be 27, but you're also 3 years shy of 30, and l don't think there's a written rule or law anywhere that puts an age limit on a legal adult wanting a vasectomy.

l would definitely recommend researching your surgeons thoroughly, though. l've known two different guys who ended up with botched vasectomies, and are now fathers. Make sure your doctor knows what he's doing. Other than that, good luck, and l hope the procedure and your healing are quick and as painless as possible!

While most here have pretty much outlined my thoughts on the matter (including the kudos for your sense of humor and confidence), l'd just like to offer my own.

First and foremost, save yourself the time and tell them up front. l'm poly and bi, which is obviously different, but the kind of information l owe to anyone interested in dating me. l don't know that 'owe' is the word l would apply to your situation where it does with me (and l'm not quite sure why, it just doesn't seem to fit; maybe it's that you don't have a choice in the matter), but were l in your shoes, l'd just prefer to avoid the uncharitable for those that won't give a shit.

However, l also think you should go ahead and explain the origin of the limp. For me, were l to read it, l would (again) admire your honesty, sense of humor, and ability to be that forthright in the face of rejection. But more than that, it would give me the disclosure l'd prefer in order to make a fully informed decision as well. l don't think that not including the reason would hurt you in any way, though, since it can easily be addressed on the first date, but it would take care of any queries as to why, which you are bound to get anyway. Again, it just saves time, and helps you get to the meat of the matter, rather than dancing around obscurities. lt certainly doesn't make you any less endearing, and any woman with firing neurons will agree.

To answer your question regarding being the recipient and how l'd react, you'd definitely get a response from me. :)

l am not the Dream Detective. But my mother taught me how to interpret dreams when l was a little girl. l might need to preface any response to dream questions l post with the opinion that l can't accurately provide interpretations without first knowing a little about the person and what they're going through. l may need to copy and paste this very thing on all of my thoughts regarding dreams, but l'll go ahead and give you what first pops into my head here.

l think you probably nailed the dead birds thing - you know yourself better than anyone else, and while interpreting our own dreams can sometimes lead to our going with wishful thinking instead of what really is (this is why l usually bring my own dreams to my mother), sometimes we know precisely what our dreams are trying to tell us.

The blind thing: something is definitely amiss.
l don't think this has anything to do with your actual vision versus either (a) feeling like there's something you're missing with a particular person or event in your life right now (something that is probably pretty big, if it's affecting all of your dreams), or (b) ignoring something with yourself, as in YOU, your health, your intuition, your intellect, your personality, something directly related to you, Geni, not anyone else.

lf it is (a), then you should be thinking about ANY red flags that have been popping up regarding a person or situation in your life. Someone you're bending over backwards for that is taking far more than giving, a situation in which you're allowing yourself to be exploited or used, or honestly, just about anything that is going to end badly if you don't wake up to the telltale signs and do something about it.

lf it is (b), ask yourself what has changed in you recently. Less patient? Bitter? Cranky? Whatever it is, it's something that is not typical of you, and you aren't digging it, but maybe you don't know where it's coming from either. You mention insecurity about your vision, and that may be a clue; maybe you're not feeling as intuitive as you're used to being, and it's affecting everything around you (which is okay - intuition is a fluid thing, and doesn't necessarily reflect anything unusually negative). Maybe it's not intuition per se, but observation - if there are distractions in your life that are pulling you away from an objective perspective, it's time to find focus.

And here's what l mean about needing to know a person and what's going on with them in order to correctly interpret a dream: l could go on for DAYS about what this one pre-Lasik dream *could* mean, but it's easier to nail it down with some better details. lf any of this hits home and you feel comfortable sharing some detail, it would help.