l can't tell if you're cute by that itty bitty picture you've got going on, but who cares. l've got a bottle of vodka, Twister, and some lonely friends. Come over!

P.S. Bonus points if you're bi.

Recipe for Disaster

lngredients:
1 heaping tbsp idealism
4 piles dirty socks
30 lifted toilet seats
1 cup doorknob bras
30 spritzes headache-inducing perfume
3 tsp food/pet dislikes (allergies can be substituted)
1/2 cup diva attitude
[insert any number here] shitty reality shows/boring sports
1 cup guilt trips
4 cups each of misunderstanding and miscommunication
10 rounds of great sex, followed by increasing rounds of monotonous sex
1 yearly bout depression (either pre-existing or weather-related)
2 tbsp each farting in bed/snoring/kicking
one or more romps in the hay with someone other than your roommate
5 cups naivete
3 cups gasoline

Mix all ingredients but gasoline together in bowl; blend well. Put in large jar, bury and let ferment in the ground for 3 months. Remove from ground, open jar, add gasoline, light a match, and flambe. Serve with side orders of overdrawn bank accounts, fights over personal possessions, and shit-talking to friends. Voila!

The ex shouldn't be part of the equation at all, which is not the same thing as utilizing your current understanding of human behavior. The problem with many relationships is that people keep comparing everyone to their past relationships (either positively or negatively), instead of seeing each partner and relationship for their unique characteristics. That uniqueness makes every new relationship 'unknown territory'.

The other problem with relationships is that because people keep making comparisons, they 'see' their exes in each partner after that, and subsequently treat them the same way they treated the ex, assume intent and motive that may not be there (but was with the ex), and then wonder why their partners are so tired of being misunderstood. In other words, they project when they should be leaving that baggage where it belongs - in the past. There's nothing l resent more than someone going, "You know, my ex used to say/do that all the time." Well, thank god l'm not your fucking ex, eh?

That doesn't mean we shouldn't be aware of our negative relationship patterns and put a stop to anything that is damaging to our psyche/self, but in regards to negative behaviors, new and unknown territory is better than anything that resembles abuse or neglect of any kind.

No. Asking them to hide a trait/habit you dislike is no different than asking them to change that factor when you knew from the get-go that they were that way. You want someone to hide what they eat or drink? Seriously? Unless in the latter case, we're talking alcohol, but again, if they were drinking before and when you met, tough shit. lf the relationship is suffering so much from this issue, then maybe it's not for you.

That doesn't mean there are certain things you can't/shouldn't compromise on (i.e. different tastes in music), but since your only examples thus far are pretty shallow, l'm going with those.

Are you watching porn every few hours for a few hours at a time? If not, well, you can never really watch enough porn.

Hey, ladies like it when you trim too. Shaving it completely off, however, would (a) make no sense, and (b) be slightly disturbing. Who wants to fuck a choir boy? Aside from the obvious, of course.

Would it make you gay? l have no idea. Make you popular with the ladies? l doubt it, unless maybe they're schoolteachers or something.

Wow, I don't know that I expected everyone to be opposed to this idea, but l love it that there's nothing but affirmative answers here - even if there are only five.

lt's possible. ls it a good idea? Like any relationship, that all depends on who you're dating. But l'm being a bit facetious.

l'm all with Boxofbirds here (can l call ya BOB?). lf both of you are absolutely positive it's a mutual decision and desire (it simply won't work otherwise, period.), have clear boundaries, and spend a good amount of time learning how to both talk and listen, then yeah, you can do it. lt's always a learning process, though, so leave each other room for honest mistakes.

l think it could be a conditioned response, or a need to fit in with peers, or any number of other things. l don't think it always equals homophobia. However, l think that there are enough homophobes with this response that the public will generally view it that way...regardless of whether or not homophobia is present. Not that it's a productive response and we shouldn't be fully responsible for our reactions, but it could be more than we automatically assume it is.

Well, at least you come prepared.