About ChrisMcCurry

Child Psychologist

Recent posts

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  Am I a bad parent if I have children while I'm in medical school?

  1 0 This must be very anxiety provoking. Consider this- Will it be any easier to have children during residency or when you're finally done with training and trying to join or establish a practice? I'm wondering if there are medical students or graduates who have been through this before you? Women, and their partners, who could share their experiences and coping strategies with you and help you get a sense of what it might actually involve to have children during one's medical training. Is there a national association of medical students with a website and a question board? Someone perhaps among the faculty at your school? Get some idea of what that parenting/medical training life might be like. Kids are very resilient. If this were going to hurt your child it would most likely be through your own stress level and/or the negative impact it could have on your marriage. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 7 more answers »

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  How much game time or screen time is reasonable for a kid?

  1 0 I heartily agree with the advice in the previous answers- balance with a breadth of other activities, no interference with morning and bedtime routines or meals, a reign on violence. We have a "no screens day" each week during the school year. It's been Wednesdays the last couple of years. This applies to the adults as well. It creates an oasis of calm in the middle of the week. Finally, there's a great parenting book by the child psychologist Anthony Wolf titled "It's not fair, Jeremy Spencer's parents let him stay up all night!". Every child knows a Jeremy Spencer whose parents let him do anything he wants. Stand firm. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 12 more answers »

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  Bedtime tips! I need em. My 3yr. old sings, gets water, goes potty, anything to not be sleeping. She's stretched her bedtime from 8:30 to now 10pm

  0 0 Many factors go into a good bedtime experience. As others have pointed out the top three are; routine, routine, and routine. One thing to consider. Children can actually get more energetic and wound up the more tired they are. So, if your daughter is not getting her regular nap, or simply as the evening wears on, you can expect it will be harder for her to settle down. One biological signal that prepares the body for sleep is a dip in body temperature that is part of the daily circadian rhythm. We can trick the body with a warm bath or shower about a half hour before bedtime. Your child steps from the bath, the body starts cooling off, and it can mimick the cooling that signals the brain that it's time to sleep. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 7 more answers »

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  Our jealous 3-years old throws tantrums that scare us

  2 0 I can only echo what others have said; reflect back to your older daughter that you get that she's angry, jealous, needs attention right now, whatever you think is the communication behind the negative behavior. I like "Do Overs", as in the old "Ask me again, but this time say 'Please'". If you can do it without it becoming a power struggle you can ask your older daughter to do something again, but this time "be gentle", "use kind words", "use an inside voice", whatever will be a more positive step toward the behavior you want in that situation. Keep it brief. We become what we practice. Finally, as much one-on-one with her as you can manage(hard with a one-year old in the picture). I would only add that, given how stressful and depleting all this must be, you should absolutely be taking care of yourself- secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others with theirs. Rally your support system so that you can take regular and scheduled breaks (A 2-hour block each week) that are yours and not just to catch up on chores. It is time well spent. Your resilience is key to both children getting what they need. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 4 more answers »

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  How much should an uncle disclose?

  5 1 Let me assume the role of the fuddy-duddy here. First, I would want to consider your niece's age. If she's 17, you're only mildy playing with fire. If she's 14, you're acquiring an electronic trail of sexual talk with a minor that your sister, or your niece, could haunt you with if things go bad. If you're texting a teenage boy about dildos you are only making it more likely that something will go wrong and Uncle Mike is going to answering a lot of awkward questions. By the way, does your sister read this feature? What I tell kids in my practice is that what we talk about is private, but that I won't keep secrets. The difference is in how the information makes me feel; the "hair on the back of the neck test". You can have the same conversation, soon, with your niece. You can acquaint yourself, and her, with resources such as Planned Parenthood, a trusted teacher or counselor at school who can be an advisor to her who has some experience, training and sufficient professional distance to handle something truly problematic. Be careful. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 11 more answers »

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  Any stigma for children of sperm donors?

  1 0 Here is a link to a description of a 2006 Cambridge University study. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10377921 Fewer than 100 kids were followed but the overall results suggest kids by donor are little different from ordinary kids, and that parenting still matters. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 5 more answers »

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  One kid or two?

  3 0 I was one of six. My wife was an only. We have one child. I would have liked one or two more, but we got a late start. It's worked out well, so far, but it's all we're used to, so it's hard to know how life might have been better or more challenging with more. Multiple children will obviously put more strain on parents' limited resources; time, money, energy, etc. One also has to consider the impact on the planet as a whole. I liked growing up with siblings. We are all still close. But I know families where the siblings are constantly at war. So much depends on the individual personalities; and that you don't know about until they're here. The July 19 TIme Magazine did a cover story on being an only child. The research suggests only children are well adjusted and not especially lonely, spoiled or entitled. So, consider your resources but mostly go with what you envisioned a family to be. If that means several children, then try for that and enjoy the ride whereever it takes you. If it means just one child, enjoy that too. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 9 more answers »

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  Mean Girls

  2 0 The best defense against bullying and mean kids is to have a secure place within a group of loyal friends. So, anything you can do to help your daughter develop and maintain friendships will boost her self-esteem and resilience. When the mean stuff starts you'll acknowledge how much it hurts but resist the urge to try and solve the problem for her or simply dismiss these girls as morons. She may have to grieve the loss of a friendship if one of the mean girls was once a close friend. Give her the supportive emotional space to do that and maybe come up with some coping strategies on her own. You might want to check out the book "Don't Pick On Me" by Susan Eikov Green, published by New Harbinger. ChrisMcCurry answered in Parenting Q&A about 1 year ago Answer, comment & read 5 more answers »

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