elenchos , ☆☆☆☆☆
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  • Where can I find a plastic sombrero-shaped salt rimmer?
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    Ballard Market. Or maybe at one of the other Town & Country stores.

    You could just buy it at the liquor store, right next to the tequila and limes, in a normal state. Not in Washington of course because that would be too intelligent.

  • Where can i sell my old television?
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    If it is old, that is, a CRT, then nobody is going to give you money for it. Instead it's a liability to dispose of.

    See Top Recycling Questions. If you call 684-3000 the city will pick it up for $20. E-Cycle Washington 1(800) RECYCLE will take it for free but you have to drop it off. Might be worth a call to see if they can help come get it if you have trouble transporting it there.

  • How naughty is biking on the sidewalk?
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    If bicyclists actually did yield to pedestrians, as the law requires, it wouldn't be a problem. And by yield I mean fucking yield. I think in the minds of bicyclists with a rough notion of what the rules are, if you didn't actually send the pedestrian sprawling, that's yielding.

    And then there are the significant number of bicyclists who clearly believe that when they yell, or ding a bell, the pedestrians ahead are required to get the hell out of the way.

    In other words, for all the shit that bicyclists say they get from cars, they give the exact same shit two times over to pedestrians.

    So fuck bicyclists. Let them figure out a way to clean their own house and enforce some kind of civil behavior on themselves. Bicycling licenses or public beatings or some damn thing. Let them work it out. Until they do that, fuck them all.

  • How to handle my neighbors early landscapers?! Please Help!!
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    At least those Mexicans are smart enough to know the hours of the Seattle noise ordinance. I bet they Googled it.

    You should write a letter the city council and tell them you think the hours for residential disturbance defined in the Seattle Municipal Code, Ch. 25.08 should be changed from 7 am to 10 am on weekdays. Good luck with that.

  • What's a good resource to send people who ask "Why do gays need a pride parade?"
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    The question contains a false premise.

    On the level of the bottom line, nobody said pride parades were a need, like fire trucks that pump water when there's a fire.

    Pride parades are not a basic public service and I don't recall anybody insisting that that taxpayer had to bear the burden of making them happen. The First Amendment guarantees equal access to public space for pride parades and any other kind of parades, but the parade is entirely on the dime of the participants and their supporters. It's their own damn time and money and they have every right to spend it their parade.

    If men who like blonds want a parade and want to pay for one, let them. Nobody ever said they couldn't.

    Or they could join Pride. From what I've seen there are a great many men in the pride parade who like blonds very much indeed.

  • Do you think that I got a ticket?
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    Stop speeding. The reason you couldn't safely stop was that you were going too fast.

    How the red light cameras work is over at the SPD's website under the HOW DO THE CAMERAS WORK? section. There's no data on the ratio of people who theoretically deserve tickets vs how many actually get them. There's lots of reasons why they might not have gotten good pictures, and an officer has to look at them and decide to ticket you. It would be pretty cool if someone DID have data on false positives vs false negatives in the system as a whole. I get the impression they don't make the effort to mail a ticket unless they are sure you are guilty as sin.

    Maybe you'll get a ticket, and maybe you won't. If you do you can lie and say you weren't driving which gets you off Scot free (although in my mind you'd be risking perjury which is hardly worth it) or you can go to court and contest it in the usual way.

    Either way, stop speeding, would you?

  • why do people think my long distance relationship wont work out, and do you?
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    You're very, very young and you seem to think the prime component of a successful relationship is the powerful infatuation you feel. Butterflies are not nearly enough.

    Anything is possible, of course. I once heard about a horse that could do arithmetic by stamping its foot to count out numbers. But I'd put not a dime on this relationship until I heard one decent reason why each of you would be motivated to put in the effort to make it work. Why, specifically, do you think he is willing to work so hard on this thing?

  • Like Seattle, only different
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    If I were you I'd want to move to the south of France, or Italy or Spain. There's all sorts of web sites and books for how to become an expat, dealing with immigration and finding a job. Seems like if you're going to go to all the effort to up and move and you're willing to shop around for anyplace, you might as well get health care and real rapid transit along with escaping the teabaggers.

  • could we dream up a system that rewards Seattlites for walking, biking, bussing instead of driving a car?
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    Charge for car insurance by the mile. There is evidence that people change their behavior when there are clear incentives to cut the number of miles. When you pay more for insurance the more you drive, rather than a flat rate for the month that lets you drive as much as you want, people will cut back driving.

    Oregon has toyed with this but they seem carried away with using GPS to track the mileage, putting where everyone drives into a big database that then has to be purged of private data and protected from abuse. That kind of privacy threat will never catch on, and I can't figure out why the think that's the only technology to use for that purpose. They should just connect with the car's odometer and record that in a box.

    You could tax registration the same way -- instead of making people pay a fat up front fee for tabs, giving them every reason to drive their asses off once they take that hit, you could tax the ones who drive the most more.

    In some parts of Canada they overcome all these complexities by collecting the money for registration and insurance in the one place where it correlates best with pollution and congestion: at the gas pump. If you insure everyone's car out of a pool of money you get from a gas tax, it balances out nicely.

  • How will the privatization of Washington State's liquor industry affect cocktail pricing in bars?
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    I stood in a Wal-Mart in Nebraska recently and marveled at the liquor filling an aisle alongside the wine and opposite the beer. At one end the liquor, wine and beer aisle was sausage. At the other was baby food.

    I remember a 750 ml bottle of Grand Marnier priced at $36. Here in Washington that sells for $37.95. So don't expect competition to do much for pricing. The payoff is selection and convenience, not necessarily price.

    I would have taken pictures but I was afraid they'd think I was there to mock them on People of Wal-Mart instead of honor the glory that is liquor sales in normal stores.

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