remember when all the feminists were saying that monogamy was a raw deal for women?

it seems to me that doing polyamory lovingly and honestly is no easier than doing monogamy lovingly and honestly. many of the pitfalls are the same: poor communication, poor self-knowledge, poor impulse control, and basic incompatibility. the genders and orientations of the participants are probably the least important factors in whether or not the relationship will work.

maybe poly just isn't for you. that's totally okay.

i also tend to get UTIs (almost) every time i have sex. i did low-dose prophylactic antibiotic for a while, which worked great. it's supposed to be hard on your kidneys, though. i discovered later that i could use a cranberry supplement the same way: one pill a day, every day, keeps the UTI away.

i discovered still later (probably 6 or 7 years after i first started having problems) that 2,000mg of vitamin C per day worked, too. the vitamin C makes your urine more acidic (the body can't use that much C all at once, so the rest goes down the drain), and the bacteria can't survive in that environment.

all three methods worked equally well; the vitamin C was the cheapest. i took two 1,000mg tabs, one at breakfast and one at dinner.

for what it's worth, my mom also had a problem with UTIs when she was younger, so whatever the cause, it's probably something i inherited.

Natalie Angier (science writer for the New York Times) wrote a fantastic book called Woman: an intimate geography, which is maybe a little more dense with fact than you specify, but is just as hilarious as anything I've read of Roach's.

i see lots of chain link fences with laurels as screens. laurels will grow fast and get just about as tall as you let them get. they'll take over the world if you're not careful.

Peter Sagal's review is required reading:
http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-240-400--12828-0,00.html

yep, just wait. if the door-to-door census takers come by when you're not home, they'll leave a phone number you can call and do an interview over the phone. no worries!

i got my tubes tied at 31. my doctor practically rolled her eyes when i told her i wanted a referral, and said probably no OB/GYN would be willing to perform the surgery on someone so young. then she gave me a pamphlet with really elementary information about a bunch of different birth control methods.

so i set up an appointment at the local planned parenthood, and spent about 45 minutes going over the decision with a counselor. she happily gave me a referral, and the OB/GYN happily tied my tubes.

the next time i saw my regular doc, she had completely forgotten our previous conversation, but saw the note in my chart that i'd asked about tubal ligation, and she started to tell me again that no one would be willing to do it on someone so young. "actually, it's already done." haha, bitch.

which is all by way of saying, i recommend you visit planned parenthood and talk it out.

do not give oral without a condom. the tissues in your mouth are every bit as delicate and vascular as the tissues in your asshole, and you're just as likely to get an STI if your partner has one. yes, i know... condoms taste awful. so do those massive antiviral horse pills they give for herpes outbreaks.

i'm unqualified to answer the rest of your questions. have fun!

i go both ways.

bork bork bork!

congratulations!

expect to feel a little strange on all fronts. expect to get long speeches, lectures, anecdotes, horror stories, medical advice and referrals to "this great OB/midwife/doula/abortionist i know" from anyone who knows you're pregnant. expect to have weird anxiety dreams about just what sort of creature is growing in your belly. expect to feel a lot of feelings.

is there anything specific you're wondering about?