OK, this reveals my inner squishy nature (goddamnfuckshit!) but why not try something like wandering around one of the neighborhood farmer's markets. DO NOT go to Pike Place Market unless you want to yell at each other over hobos demanding your change.

You can find out a lot from someone as you travel through one of these: suggestive vegetables are always a good icebreaker!

Look at these:

http://www.fremontmarket.com/

http://www.seattlefarmersmarkets.org/markets

Agh - fucking transmissions. The bane of car sellers and buyers since the dawn of the Hydramatic. Whose idea was it to include a device as complicated as a goddam Swiss watch to make a car move back and forth? Well, let's just get right out and say it: you're screwed. Screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed, screwed.

If you sell this dead, syphilitic albatross for Blue Book (not likely) after dealing with the transmission, you are only going to break even after spending all this time and effort to get this fucker fixed. More likely, you're going to sell it for less than Blue Book and get soaked for the difference.

Get ahead of this loser's game: donate this thing to your favorite charity and get a tax break. If you're one of those anal-retentives that itemize, you could come out ahead (yes, not as arousing as cash in hand) and actually get some feel-good out of this shitball. You tax mavens can correct me, but I think if you do this soon, you can still include this on your 2009 returns.

The last alternative is to keep it until you're ready to move, go to Schuck's, find and use some of that "Transmission Fix-In-A-Can", and then sell the car to some stupid kid for a bargain price. Then, skip the country. Not only did you make a profit, you've taught one of our future leaders valuable lessons about trust, test driving a car, caveat emptor, and all sorts of other bullshit!

Oh, hell no! Keep shaking that thing 'til you break it or die trying!