Because fat people are SO FAT AND STUPID!

Well, some of them. Just like some skinny people are fat and stupid. It's just that some folks can't take a joke and others don't want to listen to what I have to say and so insist that I hate all fat people—or all straight people or all gay people or all black people or all HIV+ people or all leotarded people—so that they can ignore my legit, non-jokey points.

But I don't hate fat people. I feel like I am a fat person.

Best to give him a heads up before you give a clown nose is appropriate, I think.

Best way: "I'm having my period."

Sigh.

Line Out? What's that?

Well, a surrogate parent is very different from a co-parent. Most gay male couples who go the surrogate route do so not just because they a biological tie to their child, but because they want more autonomy than an open adoption or a co-parenting relationship typically allows for. Surrogates aren't typically involved in the lives of the children they bear for other couples.

I think you should read up and the options that are available to you, talk to other surrogate mothers, and be clear about what it is you want: if you want to be a co-parent, then that's what you should seek out. Don't get into a surrogacy situation in the expectation that the couple, gay or otherwise, will want you to be more involved in the child's life once they realize what a wonderful person you are.

There are couples out there—gay and otherwise—who would like to co-parent. If that's what you want, that's what you should seek.

What's wrong with "ex"?

Maybe you're not the marrying/settling down/settling for kind. Some guys aren't. Or...

You could be one of those guys whose sexuality—whose mojo, for lack of a better term—really requires the energy and thrill of the, er, hunt. You're not the only guy like that out there, and I've seen guys like you land in successful, long-term relationships... with other guys who feel the same way, have the same needs.

Basically, have you considered the possibility of being in an open LTR with another guy that involves a lot of threesomes? Would any of those relationships of yours have made it past the 10-week mark if you and the prospective BF had gone out hunting together?

Sounds like you're bisexual. And I have heard of that. Enjoy!

If your boyfriend is a guy who can shoot again and again... he's a rare animal. He's not a mythical one—I've been a couple of guys like him—just rare.

But I'm not sure your boyfriend is that animal. You made him come twice... in rapid succession... without touching his cock. Were you fucking him? It's possible that you brought him to the edge, he shot some, held himself back to extend the feeling, and then shot some more/the rest.

Only way to determine for sure what was going on, of course, is to attempt to repeat the experiment. Send video.

Um... gee. I'm not allowed to write about my own sex life, I'm not allowed to write about my own sex life, I'm not allowed to write about my own sex life...

But maybe I can get away with saying this: My boyfriend was Mr. Vanilla Monogamy Man when we met, and pretty much was that way for four years later. Now I'm proud to say that he's a whole lot kinkier and more adventurous than even I am.

Here's the trick: some people's kinks are distinct, specific, and fully formed by the time they start having orgasms. Some people grow into kinks that appeal to indistinct and perhaps fuzzier and vague turn-ons.

THIS IS NOT AN EXAMPLE FROM MY LIFE: When my friend Phil—hey there, Phil—was in his 20s, he was vanilla. His only kink was wrestling around a bit. Just sexy, playful tussling. Now the dude has a full-blown wrestling fetish—singlets, headgear, refs and matches—and he's totally hardcore about it. He likes to say that 30-something Phil would appall and terrify 20-something Phil and, having known both Phils, I'd say he's right.

So... what turns your vanilla girlfriend on? Are there seeds-of-kinks in there somewhere?