I know I'm a bit late out the gate, and I hope my suggestion isn't too obvious, but here goes:

I think it might be helpful to try writing him a letter (without the intention of necessarily sending it) in which you can express anything and everything that comes to mind that you need to get out about what he did to you, your relationship before that, and how you feel about him and the abuse now. If I am correctly understanding your question, you haven't seen him since you were a child and a very recent victim of his abuse, both of which limited your agency to express your feelings. Letters are great in that you can say everything you need to without being interrupted or hurt by the other person's response. At the very least, the letter will help you organize your feelings and look at them a bit more objectively than you can when you're just experiencing them- feelings tend to come and go and even conflict, so if you let yourself get everything out in the open it might clarify things and make the decision easier. There is also a possibility that the letter will give you enough closure on its own to resolve your conflicted desire to see him. It may also be difficult and upsetting to the point that you will find that you don't think you can say those things to his face, and that's okay too- if you need to say them but not see him you can send the letter.

Regardless of what you eventually decide, it is important that you remember to put your needs first. He has proven that he is unable or unwilling to prioritize your needs, even when that was his entire job as your parent; it is absolutely correct that your only deciding factor here is what YOU need in order to be as comfortable and healed as is possible for you at this moment. And it is okay to let your family know that they need to support your decision and not make you feel guilty or beholden in any way- that obligation was severed when your father broke his most important responsibility toward you, which is, at minimum, to do no harm. Again, stating the obvious, but if you do decide to see him you needn't feel that that must necessitate you forgiving him. I also absolutely want to endorse Bion Satir's suggestion of a therapist to talk to about your experiences- oftentimes the most upsetting and difficult things in our lives are those which we feel afraid or simply unable to tell our friends and which our families cannot support us through with integrity because of their own involvement.

[Trigger warning: sexual assault] I can't answer the question of what I would do if it was me. Abuse by a parent is a completely different thing than sexual assault by a non-family member. But, if I had the opportunity to safely confront my attacker, I hope that I would be able to say the things that I could not say when he took my safety away. I hope I would be able to say the things I've been biting back every time I see a movie with a rape scene or hear a rape joke in a bar or am cat-called by a stranger on the bus or the street or wake up shaking and sweating at three in the morning or catch a leering look from a man or hear a formerly harmless phrase. He's the one who changed all of those things forever and irrevocably. I hope that, for myself, I would be able to finally break the silence I couldn't break then. Even if it was just to scream and scream at him. But that hope cannot answer your question of what might be right for you. I do hope that you find an answer for yourself that offers some comfort.

I would absolutely trust your gut in this situation. You're the one having the interaction, and it's obviously not okay for you (regardless of how it might make someone else feel). For me the red flag is that when you kindly told her you weren't interested, she responded with anger. A nice, stable person who was just socially awkward would have been embarrassed by their over-exuberance and gotten out of that interaction as gracefully as possible and maybe even apologized- a person who's just confused about your signals usually responds with "Oh, I'm so embarrassed that I misread your signals! Oops! Have a nice life!" So- if she directly threatens you or she continues to harass with phone calls and texts that you have made clear are not welcome (if she contacts you again maybe write an email so you have a record of your request not to contact you) then I think you'd be perfectly justified in filing a police report for harassment. They may not take you super-seriously, but at least you've then got the beginning of a record of the situation if everything goes well and truly pear-shaped. Also, I know you're probably not comfortable telling Q'land her name and yours, but you should tell some close friends what is going on and that you are somewhat concerned about what she might do next. It's good to have support, and the more people know the better they can help to keep you safe and comfortable in this kind of situation.

In short, when somebody is repeatedly contacting you and acting as though they are entitled to your attention when you've told them that you are not interested and they are making you uncomfortable, you should never, ever doubt your instincts. That person has already shown they have no respect for your boundaries or your feelings, and they are not a safe person to be around. I know we women are often taught to be polite and to give attention to everyone who wants it (especially those who are paying us the "compliment" of foisting their sexual attention upon us) but it is not our responsibility to give attention, patience, and emotional responses to any person who scares us or makes us uncomfortable.

Also, I'm so sorry this is happening to you, RM. I've had similar (though thankfully short-lived) interactions with male acquaintances, and it is unsettling and frightening. One thing I always try to remember is that a person who will ignore your emotional boundaries is often one who will ignore your physical boundaries as well, and it is always better to trust yourself and be wrong by being pleasantly surprised than to trust someone else and be wrong and be harmed or terrorized. Finally, do not let yourself feel guilty about this woman's irrational reaction to you- regardless of what she thinks you said/meant, you are only responsible for your own actions, not how she chooses to act or how she feels.

Russ is probably absolutely right about the safest option, but at my house we always just leave it on the counter with a thin, clean cloth over the top. The crust stays crumbly instead of mushing and the filling keeps its consistency. I probably wouldn't do this for long, though- pies usually don't last even 48 hours in the Sphinx family.

I believe that there is a converted espresso stand in the parking lot of the Post Office at 1110 23rd Avenue that serves Halal food to go, but I can't find anything on it online and I've never been there, I just used to live in the area and go by it on the bus. Sorry I can't be more specific! If you're in the area it might be worth a look to see if I'm right/ it's still there.

I am truly terrible at sticking to plans, but if the group as a whole decides to do something in Seattle and I'm feeling well enough, I would absolutely love to meet everybody (or at least everybody who shows up!). The ferry ride sounds like fun in theory, but is probably a bit ambitious for both the time of year and our current stage of evolution in real-world interactions. I agree with asteria that it'd be nice to have an inside option if the weather is foul.

I've been wondering this myself, Chloe. I would think that one of the really big costs in printed books is the rent/lease on commercial spaces, overhead costs of running a physical store, employee fees, etc. Those should be drastically reduced when dealing with ebooks, although I wonder if ebook customers are subsidizing the brick-and-mortar stores that we buy our ebooks from (in the case of the Nook/B&N, I realize this isn't the case for the Kindle/Amazon). The physical production costs of the books should be lower, and frankly, many of the ebooks I've been reading have clearly had less time and effort put towards quality (issues ranging from formatting and typeface to typos and purely aesthetic elements which are usually well-managed in print books), so it looks like corners are being cut in that area without the savings being passed on to the consumer. Being cynical, my suspicion is that booksellers simply are not going to reduce the price of ebooks if they can get away with charging the same prices they would for traditional books. Why would they lower prices when they could keep them the same and make a higher profit? For a bit about that, see this recent blurb on Slog : http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/03/08/justice-department-getting-ready-to-sue-apple-and-5-big-publishers

I saw your question languishing without an answer in the archives and thought I'd see if I can still be of use-

I don't have Kindle, but I got a Nook simple touch for Christmas, which I think is a pretty similar device (I did a fair amount of comparison when deciding). I don't find that I'm reading more since I was an avid reader to start with, but it is MUCH more convenient. My nook is lightweight, stores multiple books at a time, and keeps a charge for a week or sometimes more depending on how many hours per day I am reading. Having the ability to buy books from anywhere with a wifi connection and easily download free library books through my laptop is awesome. You will need a light for reading in dark conditions as the screen (on any e-ink device) is not backlit, but there are some covers that come with built-in lights or you can get a clip on reading light. I ended up going with the nook for a few reasons, but the most important was that it supports Adobe PDF books and Adobe EPub books, both of which are the most widely used for public domain books and the most easily transferred from the library (it's possible to get Kindle books through SPL now, but Amazon requires you to sign in through their website to get the files from the library).

I think that if you are the kind of person who consistently engages in negativity towards yourself or others in a way the obstructs solving problems, then trying to restructure your narrative about a situation might be a good thing to do.

There is, however, a recent trend in our society where we are essentially being sold a concept based on "magical thinking"- basically, that we can cause concrete changes in the material world simply by how we approach our lives mentally and emotionally (this is the premise of books like "The Secret"). I think that this is actually a really harmful concept. For example, people with critical or chronic illness are often treated as though their illnesses are actually being caused by their own negativity, or that their physical condition would somehow magically improve if they were incredibly upbeat and positive about their situation. This is incredibly disturbing to me- essentially, this script suggests that if you are having problems, you should turn a blind eye to what actually ought to change, you should keep any and all negative emotions (grief, sadness, anger, frustration) about such problems to yourself and actually deny that you are experiencing them, and you should feel guilty about having any negative feelings about negative life events. I find this script incredibly isolating and blaming.

Apart from the issues I see with the whole "positivity" trend, I find that criticism and negativity have their place in identifying issues and problems, acknowledging them, and seeking out real, concrete approaches that might solve or ameliorate these issues. It is not helpful to simply be certain that "things will sort themselves out" or that "it'll all be for the best" when there are real injustices, real sufferings, and real problems to be approached. However, if you find yourself engaging in a consistent negative script (even in situations that really don't warrant it) that doesn't lead you toward action but rather just discourages you, attempting to "retrain your brain" (as Kristen suggests) may be useful to you.

Check out Joyce Carol Oates- almost all of her work is fairly focused on gender relations and could definitely be described as "darkly introspective." For titles that deal pretty explicitly with race, try Black Girl/White Girl or Because it is Bitter, and Because it is My Heart. I have greatly enjoyed every book of hers that I have read.

In nonfiction, I recommend checking out Naomi Wolf for coherent and fascinating dissections of gender issues in the US- particularly Promiscuities and The Beauty Myth. I found Fire with Fire to be less engaging.

In the vein of The Lovely Bones (which Sacrelicious recommends), I'd suggest checking out the young adult novel Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson for an amazingly (and gut-wrenchingly) effective story of what growing up female is like for far too many girls in America.

We tend to only have about a week of snow/ice conditions per year, although Kip is right in saying that it does seem to be getting a little worse each year. Even when we get snow, it is usually just slushy rather than icy on the sidewalks. I do a fair amount of walking and I think that Seattle is pretty good as far as sidewalk cuts, wide enough walkways, level sidewalks, bus access, and building accommodations, but I'm sure I don't catch some accessibility failures since they tend not to directly affect me. Neighborhoods with good to excellent pedestrian areas-U district, Ravenna, Greenlake, and Capitol Hill (There are more, these are just neighborhoods I've spent a significant amount of time in). As you go further north in Seattle the pedestrian areas get a little less reliable (my current street, Greenwood north of 100th, only has a sidewalk on one side, many of the side streets don't have sidewalks at all).

As an aside, even if you don't have MS, I imagine that the regional chapter of the MS Society might be able to connect you with more information about accessibility in Seattle and services that might be of you use to you. I have a friend who works there, and she's extraordinarily knowledgable about all kinds of disability issues and (she's been invaluable to me in dealing with chronic migraine and pancreatitis). They can be contacted at :
192 Nickerson Street, Suite 100
Seattle, WA 98109
Phone: 206-284-4254
Fax: 206-284-4972
Email: MSnorthwest@nmsswas.org