I feel your pain and let me tell you my experience. So, I have lived in Seattle for 3 years and before Seattle I lived in Hoboken New Jersey across from New York City and let me tell you. I have seen what your stating here. So in New York, when I ask one of my buds to hangout. The answer is either Yes I can or no not today.
New York(Agreeing to hangout): Me: Hey dude do you wanna hangout. My friend: Yeah where do you wanna meet? Me: Let's meet at Frank Sinatra Park in about an hour, hows that sound? My friend, that is perfect see you then.
See when you ask an east coaster
Now heres how a native Seattlite does it below.
Seattle(Agreeing to hangout): Me: Hey dude do you wanna hangout? My friend: well let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you in about an hour. Me: Well I kinda wanna hangout right now. My friend: Fine where should we meet? Me: How about at the sculpture park. My friend: That could work. Me: Well I need to know if it's actually going to happen. My friend: Alright lets meet there in a half hour.
New York(Not Agreeing to hangout): Me: Hey dude do you wanna hangout. My friend: No, I'm sorry, I have a guitar lesson today but tomorrow might work I'll text you later to see what we can work out. Me: ok sounds good. Have a good lesson.
Seattle(Not Agreeing to hangout): Me Hey dude do you wanna hangout? I busy all this week and next week. I'll let you know at some point soon when we can hangout. Me: ok thats fine.
New Yorkers actually give you a possible time for when there available.
Seattlites give you a huge lecture on why they can't an then say they'll tell you that they'll call you a some point soon and let you know. It gets on my fucking nerves all the god damn time. No body confronts anyone because there afraid of every little fucking detail of life that they can't talk to a random person.
It's really annoying sometimes to live in Seattle! Too many scared people. Way too many atheists.