Is it only available on the iPhone and Android?

It's hard to make eye contact when you are wearing a hood.

When I was a young boy, I desperately wanted an air rifle. When I told my mom, she turned me down in no uncertain terms.

In an attempt to sway her through other authority figures, I wrote an essay about it for my teacher Miss Shields. She gave me a C+. Sadface.

When I asked for it from the Santa Claus at the local department store, that insensitive clod told me off for wanting something with such a capacity for violence. Then he kicked me down the escalators.

It was a Christmas bummer.

Luckily, on Christmas morning, my dad (a man of fine tastes) snuck it under the tree without tipping off my mom. Score! I immediately took it outside for some test shots, and uh... Had an unfortunate icicle accident.

The Red Ryder Range model BB gun was the greatest Christmas gift I had ever received, or would ever receive. But I still hold a grudge about my mother's callous disregard of my desires. "You'll shoot your eye out!" Whatever, you controlling harpy.

Anyway, that's my Christmas story.

Summit West at the Summit on Snoqualmie is chock-full of bunny slopes and it has reasonable rates for kids group lessons: $65 for a half-day lesson, rental, and lift ticket.

It's also the closest ski area to Seattle, so you can get there in less than 2 hours... Weather permitting.

You might consider signing up for the EZ 2 Learn package of group lessons for adults. You get three lessons, rentals, and lift tickets for $120. That's dirt cheap, even if you bail on your lessons. But they would come in handy for brushing up on your neglected skills.

Also, Summit West has plenty of food, lodge space, and outdoor fire rings. But I'd bring your own cocoa and lunch- buying anything at the lodge is costly.

My family went down to Carkeek last night to see the Christmas ships. They enjoyed a huge bonfire there. It's likely that you could expect large bnfires at Golden Gardens too. The "bonfires" at Gasworks are reportedly pretty lame.

For a schedule of the Christmas Ships' appearaces at Carkeek and Golden Gardens, look here.

Pan-fry the liver and deepfry the gizzards. Yum. Yeah, I'm from the South.

I guess you could also stew the gizzards with the neck for additional flavor. Or check out these suggestions.

But definitely pan-fry the liver. Aw yeah.

I've flown with one in my carryon. No problems.

As far as "vaping" in the airport goes, it is perfectly legal. But you should still do it ubnobtrusively, especially if you have one that looks like and lights up like a cigarette. People might be tempted to call security on you if they think you are smoking.

I acquired my sexual education from Judy Blume.

Man, that bitch is freaky.