About Rickler

Mama tried

Recent posts

• Comment on Rickler's answer…

  1 1 Hey no need to apologize... sorry for the rant ;) It's frustrating to be single when you want a relationship, and a certain amount of complaining is totally warranted. Good luck! Rickler commented 13 days ago

• Follow Following 2

  The right approach to dating?

  7 2 "I have heard time and again that girls like assertive bad-boy alpha male douchebag asshole types". The kind of "girls" who find these types of men appealing are probably not ones you would be interested in dating. Being attracted to asshole douchebags is usually symptomatic of problems. Grown-up women with good self-esteem want the same thing grown-up men with good self-esteem want: a considerate, kind partner who will respect and accept them. It's a cliche for sure, but no less true for it: what we find attractive is confidence. Assertive, yes. Douchebag assholes, no. As a woman, it gets so fucking tedious hearing men bitch about how we "only" like assholes. I do not like assholes, male or female. None of my female friends, relatives or coworkers like assholes. I have heard countless men complain about how they can't attract women because they're "too nice". This reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of women's desires and priorities. For the most part, we are not clingy, infantile dimwits who need a "chest-thumping gorilla" of an emotionally abusive dick to make us swoon with our own helpless inferiority. And the men who complain the loudest about how their kindness, generosity and attentiveness is a HINDRANCE when it comes to dating are usually petulant, embittered and insecure - guaranteed vagina-repellent. As a woman, my advice to you is the drop the whole nice-guy-martyr schtick and play up your strengths. Focus on what you like about yourself: what makes you a great friend, great dad and great (theoretical) boyfriend? Those things are the unique assets that make you awesome and will attract the kind of woman who shares similar values. Your ex's betrayal was no doubt a bitter blow to your self-esteem, but now you must build it back up. You don't have to make any excuses or apologies for who you are; the right woman for you will be attracted to YOU, not some 'roided out, over-aggressive bro. Also: it may be more fun to meet people "naturally", but dating sites can help you find people who share similar values and goals, and weed out the evangelical-Christian-Republican dog haters. I recommend giving online dating a try. Rickler answered in Relationships 20 days ago Answer, comment & read 4 more answers »

• Follow Following 1

  Cocktail recipes?

  1 0 Start with a simple syrup infused with your favorite herb (rosemary, lavender and mint are all good choices). Take 1 part water and 2 parts sugar, simmer it till the sugar dissolves, add a handful of herbs while it's hot and let it steep for a few hours (or until it tastes strong enough). Mix the syrup with lemon juice and water to make lemonade (nice and tart, of course), then mix it with vodka, rum or gin. Add the simple syrup to iced tea and booze. Black tea is delicious, as are different combinations of herbal teas and citrus juices. Finally... steep some hibiscus flowers (I find them at my local Safeway in the produce department) in hot water and mix the resulting tea with honey while it's still hot. Chill it and throw it in a jug with a handful of bruised mint or basil and your favorite clear booze. Yay, spring picnics! Rickler answered in Alcohol 26 days ago Answer, comment & read 2 more answers »

• Follow Following 1

  What's the most inexpensive way to buy a bike in Seattle?

  1 0 I bought a nice Trek at a pawn shop for $90, and it served me well for years with no tune-ups/repairs, until I got serious about commuting by bike and put $200 of work into it. I've also heard great things about Recycled Cycles, although I have no personal experience with them. I'd recommend a place like RC/pawn shop over Craigslist because you can look at and try out a variety of bikes and figure out which one suits you best. Rickler answered in Bicycles 28 days ago Answer and comment »

• Comment on infernactual's answer…

  1 0 Yep, you pretty much hit the nail on the head, as far as my concerns go. I've thought about all of those things and they're what give me pause... I will probably try to practice some patience and restraint and not let things go any farther. Rickler commented about 1 month ago

• Comment on Russ Campbell, NWEBS's answer…

  0 0 Good information, thank you! Rickler commented about 1 month ago

• Comment on O my captain's answer…

  1 0 He wants a long term relationship, but I'm pretty sure he'd accept whatever I would give him. Over time, my comfort with "friends with benefits" relationships has dwindled. I have had a successful one, and I think they can work under certain circumstances, but I'm reluctant to build emotional intimacy with someone who I don't see myself being with long term. At this point in my life, I find it impossible to separate sex from emotions; the term "making love" has gained special resonance with me lately because I think having sex does just that: it generates a potent emotional bond, and feelings of love. If I start having sex with this person on the regular, I have no doubt that I would develop intense feelings for him. If I am tied up with someone I can't see myself being with forever, it's harder to be open if the ideal candidate comes along. Rickler commented about 1 month ago

• Follow Following 1

  How do you not let the occasional jerk-type person get on your nerves?

  1 0 Something I like to do is practice putting myself in the other person's shoes. Like Russ implied, there's usually something wrong with someone who constantly puts other people down or behaves disrespectfully. I try to think about why they are like that, and have some measure of compassion for them. This helps me to disengage emotionally to the point where I can see that their jerkiness is THEIR problem, not mine. While dealing with them may produce a temporary disturbance in my life, I can go on my merry way as a mostly happy, considerate person, while they have to live with being a jerk (and the things that make them that way) all the time, most likely causing similar reactions in others, alienating people and descending further into a vicious, anti-social cycle. If a person is consistently a jerk, they're probably wounded, fucked up, and unhappy. Rather than letting yourself get worked up by their lashing out, try to practice compassion and use the experience to reflect on how you can improve the way YOU relate to people. Good luck! Rickler answered in Intl/Ntl News & Politics about 1 month ago Answer, comment & read 3 more answers »

• Follow Following 1 Dating with a BIG age difference? Rickler asked in Relationships about 1 month ago 4 Answers by infernactual, O my captain , Allena Gabosch…

• Follow Following 1

  Quick stop for gifts?

  1 0 Daiso Japan had lots of cool random stuff, most of it ridiculously cheap. There's one in the ID and one at Westlake. Rickler answered in Whatever about 1 month ago Answer, comment & read 3 more answers »

• See all of my 54 Questions , 78 Answers and 65 Comments